Egg retrieval is officially on Wednesday. I go into the hospital at 8:30 a.m. in the morning. Today at the scan I was in so much pain due to possible OHSS that we had to stop the ultrasound. They had already counted so many follicles that they knew there would be plenty. It turns out I responded a little too well. But we are still on our way and I got what I wanted by having ER on Wednesday. I'm very excited and ready to do this, but I am also plagued by worry.
Here is my list:
What if none of my follicles are mature eggs?
What if I ovulate before they can get to the eggs?
What if none of my eggs fertilize?
What if they do fertilize, but not very well?
What if I have none left over to freeze?
What if I don't react well to anesthesia?
What if my OHSS gets worse?
And the very worst of all: what if this doesn't work? What if I do all this for nothing? I am trying to hold on to hope because this is just the beginning. I reach out and look for success stories. I have spent time picking out baby things that I will need in 9 short months. 9 puny months. After 2 and a half years, it seems like nothing. But the next two weeks seem like forever. I want to get the positive beta, see the heartbeat, feel the first fetal movement, plan with hubby for our future together with our little one, go through labor and hold our little baby that we wanted more than anything in this world in my arms.
It will happen, it will happen, it will happen . . . . . The egg retrieval is just the beginning.