Thursday, June 30, 2011

Let me tell you about my day . . . . .

Yesterday I got up early, mostly because two stinkin' babies were up early too. I had to pack for our big trip because I am a procrastinator.

Then I went to work and took a lot of kids to a baseball game and it was hotter than hell.

I came home and showered and finished packing.

I snuggled babies.

We had to get some Tylenol at Walgreens.

We had to drop off a daycare payment.

We went to the airport and looked like fools dragging strollers, carseats, babies, luggage and diaper bags frantically through the place.

We fed the babies a sub because that's all they had available where we were in the airport. Ever was not impressed.

We rode in a plane from Kansas City to Chicago. The plane landed after an hour and 20 minutes and the babies were pretty good for the flight. We got held up waiting for a parking spot so we let the babies run in the aisles until a flight attendant told us "no, no!" Ooops. Ocean tried to grab a guys bald head much to the amusement of the man sitting next to me. I am always lucky to be sitting by people who are nice to my babies instead of jerks about having to sit next to kids.

We ran around the Chicago airport. We ate Auntie Ann's pretzels. Ocean pushed the stroller around. We saw some other twins that Ocean and Ever looked at but weren't that interested in because they weren't on the same cuteness level, oops, I mean they are too young to really care. We got on jammies for the next flight.

We boarded after 9:00 and got to sit in a better class of seat so we got to sit together and the babies fell asleep and slept the whole time. Travel at bedtime= GENIUS PLAN. We are not so lucky on the way home.

We got picked up by Grandma and Grampa just after midnight. Wow! It wasn't that bad though for being a REALLY long day.

It's vaca time baby. I need this time off like the desert needs rain.

I have no photos for you because I am not nearly organized enough to upload ahead of time, but don't you worry friends, I will hit you up with TONS of photos from this weekend. Not of me because I will be in a swimsuit on several occasions, just of my lovelies.

Sunday, June 26, 2011


If you think this is going to be one of those cutesy posts where I name off all the goofy things I do (like singing in public, using ridiculous voices when talking to my kids, slapping strangers for touching them, letting the twins pull all the shoes off the displays at DSW, letting the kids eat off the table at restaurants) and then say "yeah, I'm THAT mom," it's not one of those.

Even though I am that mom, which I never thought I'd be, this actually a post dripping with shame.

Last week I was THAT mom. The one who has sick babies but pawns her kids off on someone else so I could go to work.

I NEVER thought I'd be that mom. I had so much to do last week and I was already buried. I knew if I missed I would get behind and people would complain and it would be a downhill spiral. I also had an event that I had helped plan that ran for two days and I didn't want to look like the slacker a-hole that didn't show up.

So instead of letting my coworkers and customers think I am an a-hole, I found it perfectly acceptable to have my own children think of me as an a-hole. They were with my grandparents and I'm sure they didn't mind because my grandparent's are great people to be with, but when I picked up the kiddies from daycare on Friday (my grandparents dropped them off there) and took them home and I was so exhausted and they were oozing snot I felt so icky inside. Like the crappiest mom ever.

I tried to tell myself that the only reason I could take them to the doctor is because I have a job. The only reason I could go pick up their meds is because I have a job. But it didn't help. I still felt like crap.

I look at them and I truly don't think that they care, but I feel like I should have been in bed with them, wiping their noses and giving them Tylenol and rocking them when they were crying.

Yesterday we spent all day together. Every single minute. I did what any crappy mom would do and made up for my suckiness on the two days last week I worked instead of staying home with them and bought their affection at McDonald's. We ate treats and then climbed to the very top of the play area. We went to the park. We snuggled all day. Hopefully they will forgive me and hopefully next time I will choose to stay home with them instead.

The babies in their new big kid car seats! They love them! They only have them in hubby's car because we dont' go in that car often so they are still rear facing in mine since that's the new standard, but I think we will replace my car seats pretty soon too.



A little blog love . . . .

If you have to make lunches for you kiddos ever, this is the coolest website! Ocean and Ever have to pack a lunch about once a week and I haven't been out to find these sweet boxes yet but I did pick up something kind of like it at Walmart. The babies love eating out of the box, especially when all their little friends are eating off of paper plates.

If you are currently preggo and still want to look good (and on a budget) this lady looks so adorable all the time! I would actually wear most of the stuff not pregnant and I am super nosey so I love to see where people shop. If you are reproductively challenged like myself, she is pregnant as a warning, but I will tell you she is not obnoxious in anyway and it is a really fun read. ;) It's my personal goal to start dressing better on a regular basis now that I am dropping some lbs, but as you may remember, I'm not that motivated. I want to learn how to be a good thrift shop buyer too, but again, motivation is an issue.

**These people didn't ask me to do this, I just wanted to because I love finding new blogs and thought you might too**

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Chit Chat

I am bopping around to music in the car . . . .

Husband: "Is this Justin Bieber?" with a disgusted look on his face
Me: "NO! Of course not. It's Jonas Brothers"
Husband: "You are really embarassing."

The monkeys go to a Christian daycare, although they are not Christians. Last week was Bible week.

Me: "Honey, why did the kids color a picture of Jesus in a whale?"
Husband: "It's Jonah and the whale."
Me: "What? I've never heard of that. Like Moby Dick or something?"
Husband: "No, it's from the Bible."
Me: "Really?"
Husband: "That's what the daycare said. I don't know."
Me: "Well, it's cute anyway."

Long term sleep deprivation has made our conversations incredibly boring and short. These two examples are as deep as it gets around here. After this small blips of convo, there is usually nothing but baby talk. Sad!


On the other hand, Ever and I are having great conversations!


Ever was sitting on the steps holding her hands out to me.
Me: "You want me to get you Peanut?"
Ever: "Aww, mama."
Me: "You are so funny Peanut."
Ever: "Yeah."

Me: "Ever, you want some brownie?"
Ever: "Oh yeah."
Me: "Is it good punkin?"
Ever: "Num num num num."


Ocean doesn't say anything yet, but he can follow directions which is pretty sweet. I asked him to put the dog away so we could go bye bye and he ran to the dog kennel and locked up the dog! Ever was crying so I told him to give her a drink so he took the cup to her and put it in her mouth then patted her head. He also takes his own diapers to the trash.


Babies are cool and all, but toddlers are awesome!

**On a side note, I have really been trying to comment on your blogs and there is something wrong! When I go to my blog to click on yours it logs me out of google so I can't comment. Then I try to make and anonymous comment and then it asks me 1,000 times to log in first to google. WTH? If anyone knows how to fix this, please let me know!**

Sunday, June 19, 2011

Just What I Needed

First-I will say happy father's day to my hubs, my Dad, my Papa and my Poppy! I'm a lucky gal and in turn, the babies are lucky babies to have a long line of great daddies around! Love you!

Second- We just took a mini-weekend trip to the lake with Mike's mom. Since the whole daycare thing I have been stressed. Moving the babies through the house in the morning before I have a long workday (summer is my busy time) is hard. Especially when they really don't know what's going on because they have been home for the last 13 months with their lovely grandma. I had NO idea how hard this would be.

Friday was the first day that the babies did not cry when I dropped them off which was a huge relief. They were also happy on Thursday night. They have been sleeping like crap and they have already caught some little yucky virus from the daycare. I have just felt so down about the whole thing, which has also made me disappointed in myself for not being able to be with them all day or to be able to afford this more comfortably so that it's not so financially stressful or for not being the person who does all these things with a smile on her face while looking at all the positives (which there are). Stressed out mama's also equals unhappy daddy's.

The non crying drop off was great. Followed by me getting off early and walking them home form the daycare and playing. Then we went out of town.

My monkey's love water. We had NO plans so they had 100% of our attention, which they also love. Ever hit the water as soon as she saw it. It was so adorable to see them in their swim suits splashing and playing. They were also adorable digging in the sand. We took them on a bridge where they could watch boats drive by and they climbed right up fearlessly. We ate a ton of food. We went for a walk and found a fence with eight Chihuahua's in it, which the babies thought was super awesome. There were two double beds at the cabin so we each got a baby and went to bed. I got in bed with Ever at 8:30!






Today we went swimming in a pool and they ran all over the place inside the friend's house. They ate fresh fish caught from the lake. We drove home and then again had to eat and I laughed as I watched Ocean hitting on the waitress because he loves the ladies (and he's such a handsome devil I know it's going to be trouble someday). Ever is a nosey knob and it was so funny watching her people watch.

I was just so proud after this time we spent. I am going to try harder to take a moment and realize we will all be okay. We just need some time to adjust and we will find our new groove, just like we did in the newborn days when we had to figure out how to all function together (that took 6 months though so lets cross our digits it doesn't take that long this time).

Aaaaahhhh . . . . I needed that. We all did.


Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Lack of Motivation

Back in the day when I dreamt of motherhood, I thought I would do it all. Bring home the bacon, make homecooked meals for every meal, keep a tidy home, and look like one hot B because I definitely wouldn't skip a workout. I hadn't skipped a workout from the time I was 14 until I was pregnant so surely it wouldn't be a big deal.

Well . . . . it turns out I can't do it all.

Or maybe I can. I am just lazy. I have been cooking, but the meals aren't all that nutritious and I can assure you the ONLY reason I do it is because I'm broke. The best thing about restaurants is that not only does someone make your food, but they clean it up too. Yeah baby, that's what I like.

I am trying to look like one hot B and it's going not so bad. It is summer and I'm getting a little darker in the tan department (I don't do tanning beds due to the risk of cancer and looking like an Oompa Loompa or a piece of rawhide) and we all know tan fat looks better than white fat. Also after my cleanse I have been eating pretty decently. I just struggled through Jillian Michael's Ripped in 30. Never in my life would I thought I could say something like this, but it doesn't bother me a whole lot. Back in the day I wouldn't have been able to handle this, but to be honest, I've got much bigger fish to fry than the dangler.

Cleaning. Don't know the meaning of it. I'm just not into it. I know that means nothing, but I just can't make myself. Let's think of the cleaning I should be doing right this second:

1. Bathroom and babies bath
2. Dishes
3. Kitchen
4. Mopping
5. I can't see the floor in the office anymore
6. I have been dying to do the babies new playroom since Grandma left, but it's still as it was
7. If anyone saw my personal bathroom the babies would probably get taken by social services

Yep. F- in the cleaning department.

So basically I just bring home the bacon and play with babies. The rest I do if I feel like it.





Monday, June 13, 2011


Sorry friends, I've been MIA for awhile. First I was experiencing trauma from the daycare/working situation which was exhausting me. Last Thursday I cried myself to sleep at 7:30 p.m. I know that isn't really helpful to the situation but it felt like all I could do.

Then my internet got turned off. Not because I'm an a-hole, but because I can't pay it online like everything else I have to call it in and I forgot. For three months. Whoops. But the cool thing is that they didn't charge me late fees and signed me up for a cheaper program since we were chatting anyway! Isn't that nice? Go AT&T.

My Oshy boo got an ear infection too. Yep. Some of that crying was not emotional trauma, but pain. That made me feel like crap too, but it did afford Osh and I a nice afternoon of eating an Icee together and getting just mommy and son snuggles. We can only have one more ear infection before tubes so I am hoping we don't have to do that, but I know it's not a big deal if it must be done. I'm still not gonna like it.

Ever is now the queen of daycare. She is ridiculous. I love that girl and she will surely give hubby and I a run for our money. She is saying lots of words and it is hilarious!

I lost 7 lbs so that is cool, but I'm pretty hungry and would LOVE a diet coke, but I shall not have it, no I shall not!

What does one do when they have no internet? It's unimaginable. I spent the whole weekend watching True Blood Season 3. I LOVE that show big time. I had a parent fail moment when my kids starting dancing to the theme song. Most kids go to school singing sweet songs, like ABC's or Twinkle Twinkle Little Star and mine will be singing the dirty sex song from True Blood. Bad mommy.


This weekend was very low key. We haven't had a weekend like that in a long time. We just hung out. Bought groceries. Watched True Blood. Cooked food. That's it. It was nice.

My sweet boy looking sweet. I love this snugglebug.

Ever roaring. She's crazy.

Today was a much better day on the daycare front. Much better. I expect to be wiped out by Wednesday, but at least we started the week better. As soon as I grabbed my keys at daycare Ocean wrapped his arms around me and started crying. I hate it! Ever, Queen of Daycare, was just fine.

That's it! Nothing exciting to report!

Monday, June 6, 2011


Today was the first day of daycare.

Last Friday we went in for a preview. I wanted to spend an hour with them so that they knew that Mommy likes daycare and it's an okay place to be.

Well . . . . we went outside with the class first and some yucky little kid was all over the babies and they didn't like it. Especially Ever. And you just don't mess with Peanut. By the time the babies warmed up to the idea it was time to go in so they were not really cool with that. We got inside and the yucky little kid was all over us again. The babies did NOT like another baby trying to get in my lap. Miss J informed me that she was going to be gone for 10 days then back for a few then gone again. Although I realize people have a life, I was a little disheartened to find out they wouldn't really actually have their teacher on a consistent basis until the end of this month. Between the little yucky kid, the teacher being gone and the twins looking obviously apprehensive about the whole thing I had a crappy feeling all weekend.

This morning we got up and actually got ready and out the door with very little drama. It was good and I needed that. We got to daycare and they got out of the car and walked up to the door. We went in and they looked around. Ocean was interested in the PBS program on TV, but Ever knew what was happening and she was not happy. Miss J came up to her and said good morning and she immediately cried and Ocean clung to me.


My blood pressure started to rise and the little yucky kid came up poking at the kids so my heart just sank and I figured this was a terrible choice. All the littles went into their classroom and we followed. Surprisingly, they went up and starting playing with things. I almost laughed when Ever got sight of the little mean baby and she gave him a dirty look and backed up. That girl is a genius I tell you! She did not forget him, even after the weekend was over. I felt TERRIBLE that I was leaving my child with another child that she clearly disliked and with a teacher who was going to be MIA for a few weeks.

The babies got into a few things and Miss J gave us the good news that little mean baby was moving to a new class everyday just 20 minutes after the twinks arrive so they don't have to be around him too much. I went out to the car to grab their little animals that have blankies inside them for nap that Grandma and Grampa Grampa gave to them before my mom went back home. They were playing well so I gave them kisses and backed out. Ocean came charging towards the door crying.

I went to car and headed to work. I cried multiple times and called my mom.

Like an annoying parent I called the daycare to go check on them. The director said they were doing well. Hubby called and said they had a great day. They took a nap for two hours. They ate all their food. They used crayons for the first time. They were not traumatized when Hubby picked them up.

Whew. I am so relieved. I think this will be okay.

And it will begin all over again tomorrow . . . . . . . .


Sunday, June 5, 2011

Mom Saturdays

7:15 a.m.: I wake up and get ready to go drop off the edited disc of the pictures I took for a family last weekend. They love them! We talk about another session in the fall and I deposit their check at the bank.

8:50 a.m.: Hubby and two babies are running around the house. We do NOTHING much for the rest of the day and it feels great. I get all domestic and bake some blueberry muffins.



We eat ravioli, we take naps, we watch movies, we talk about grocery shopping, etc. until after 3:00 p.m.




Streakers in the front yard!

3:30 p.m.: We head to the pool. Now that we are poor, this will be a staple because I get a pool pass through work and the babies are free! Ocean is not so sure about the cold water but Ever dives right in, literally! She thinks she knows how to swim. We play in the water and do three laps in the lazy river together. The babies have a snack and enjoy climbing on the the pool chairs.



These pictures are taken on a waterproof Polaroid digital, which is a lifesaver because Ashley+digital cameras+water=BAD NEWS!

5:15 p.m.: We get home and the babies are tired and whiny so we give them lots of food. They whine and whine and whine so we decide they need to go for a walk.

6:30 p.m.: We are walking around the lake behind our house and a family with a teeny tiny dog walks up to us so the babies can see the dog. Ever LOVES doggy's. LOVES them. A lot. The dog is a tiny Chihuahua puppy and the girl was in heaven. Ocean wasn't as thrilled because there were strangers near him but Ever was all over it. They walk off and Ever screams. She screams for a long time because she continues to see them. She screams until they are out of view. I contemplate getting her a puppy even though I am not a huge animal fan and we already have one dog, but then common sense kicks back in over the fact that my little Peanut just got her heart broken. We play at the playground until Ocean takes a huge, smelly poo so we need to go home.

7:45 p.m.: Night night bottles early because the babies are out of control. I they get into really good moods with their bottles so I don't put them to sleep for awhile because they are so cute and snuggly and a mama just can't pass up some cute snuggly time!

8:45 p.m.: Babies are in bed so I do some cleaning. Hubby got his acceptance letter into the college he wants to go to so I do a bunch of chores so he can read through everything and enjoy his moment. He goes to buy diapers (4 boxes) and I mess around on the internet. We try to watch a movie but we're both tired, so we go to bed instead at 10:00 p.m.

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Two Dirty B Words

Dirty B Word Number One: BUDGET

Icky icky ick. As of my pay day this Friday, I am on the tightest tight budget there is. My biweekly budget has come down to dollars. We are one of those families that barely has enough to afford daycare but definitely doesn't make enough to have either one of us not in the workplace.

I forgot how stressful money problems are. The last time I truly worried about money was when I had to pay for IVF, 100% out of pocket. I wasn't as worried about the first one, thanks to savings, but I was super worried about trying to do more than one and losing everything for nothing.

Once the ball starts rolling into the yucky budget land then I start thinking about the future budget and how in the world will we be able to save up the money we want to save to get into a bigger house (which is much needed, we live in a very tiny old house) in a better school district?

Then I try to reason with myself. The good thing about daycare bills are that they don't last forever. Once they hit 3 it will go down slightly and once they hit five and go to Kindergarten it will go down a touch more and once they are in first grade we will be golden.

The other good thing about the daycare bill that I tell myself to feel better is that we have a daycare bill. We have it because we are so lucky to have these two most gorgeous monkey's.


Those are my babies loving on each other. Have you ever seen anything so adorable?

No, you haven't. Trust me.

The third thing I remind myself of is that things always seem to work out one way or another, so perhaps this won't all be as difficult as I think it will be.

Dirty B Word Number Two: BIG ASS

Yep, my ass is huge these days. I never weigh myself for ignorance is bliss in the weight department. Summer is upon us and clothing is getting skimpier and I don't have as many layering tools as I had all of Fall/Winter/Spring. So I have caught a glimpse of my big ass in pictures without my layers and it's not good. For some reason when I look at myself in the mirror in the morning I never look half as bad as I do once I see evidence of it later in pictures. Perhaps I have some sort of disorder, but I am never truly as shocked in the morning as I am when I see pictures.

You will see with the following two pictures how I always try to cleverly hide my big ass with the way that I hold a baby. Baby covers belly and a touch of thighs, which are the worst two parts, and the best part, my arms, isn't so bad because I am using muscles to hold said baby.



I went to the doctor and they forced me on the scale. The result was a shock.


While pregnant with Ocean and Ever I gained 36 pounds in a full term (37 weeks and one day to be exact) pregnancy. I lost more than that within a month of giving birth. I gained a quarter of that by sitting at my desk eating shit. Junk. In the same time that I gained a quarter of that before I was supporting two lives in my body. Now I'm just rolling through McDonald's picking up a cheeseburger, fries and a coffee on a regular basis or eating a whole box of 100 calorie packs of who-knows-what just because I am bored. Let's don't mention my new found addiction to chemical laden Diet Coke.

Yesterday I began I cleanse because I knew I needed to lose the chemicals and sugar out of my system or I would continually crave them. I decided I would like to lose 18.8 pounds to feel really good.

For the cleanse I take herbs and supplements, drink TONS of water, and eat only raw fruits, veggies and nuts and one piece of cooked up meat in the evening.

This morning I weighed myself and . . . . drum roll please . . . . . . I am 3.5 pounds lighter! Woo hoo! I thought I would probably die of the horrendous headache I had last night from caffeine and sugar withdrawal but I luckily have survived and have a few less lbs to show for it. 3.5 pounds in 24 hours isn't bad.

My tight budget will also assist in my "reduce the big ass campaign" because I will not be able to afford just driving through places willy nilly and will be eating grocery store food and leftovers of homemade food and that will help so much.

Silver linings, my friends, silver linings. Dirty B Word Number One isn't going anywhere unfortunately (I haven't checked my lottery ticket yet so maybe I'm wrong) but luckily it will play a positive roll in kissing Dirty B Word Number Two goodbye!