Dirty B Word Number One: BUDGET
Icky icky ick. As of my pay day this Friday, I am on the tightest tight budget there is. My biweekly budget has come down to dollars. We are one of those families that barely has enough to afford daycare but definitely doesn't make enough to have either one of us not in the workplace.
I forgot how stressful money problems are. The last time I truly worried about money was when I had to pay for IVF, 100% out of pocket. I wasn't as worried about the first one, thanks to savings, but I was super worried about trying to do more than one and losing everything for nothing.
Once the ball starts rolling into the yucky budget land then I start thinking about the future budget and how in the world will we be able to save up the money we want to save to get into a bigger house (which is much needed, we live in a very tiny old house) in a better school district?
Then I try to reason with myself. The good thing about daycare bills are that they don't last forever. Once they hit 3 it will go down slightly and once they hit five and go to Kindergarten it will go down a touch more and once they are in first grade we will be golden.
The other good thing about the daycare bill that I tell myself to feel better is that we have a daycare bill. We have it because we are so lucky to have these two most gorgeous monkey's.
Those are my babies loving on each other. Have you ever seen anything so adorable?
No, you haven't. Trust me.
The third thing I remind myself of is that things always seem to work out one way or another, so perhaps this won't all be as difficult as I think it will be.
Dirty B Word Number Two: BIG ASS
Yep, my ass is huge these days. I never weigh myself for ignorance is bliss in the weight department. Summer is upon us and clothing is getting skimpier and I don't have as many layering tools as I had all of Fall/Winter/Spring. So I have caught a glimpse of my big ass in pictures without my layers and it's not good. For some reason when I look at myself in the mirror in the morning I never look half as bad as I do once I see evidence of it later in pictures. Perhaps I have some sort of disorder, but I am never truly as shocked in the morning as I am when I see pictures.
You will see with the following two pictures how I always try to cleverly hide my big ass with the way that I hold a baby. Baby covers belly and a touch of thighs, which are the worst two parts, and the best part, my arms, isn't so bad because I am using muscles to hold said baby.
I went to the doctor and they forced me on the scale. The result was a shock.
AN OVER NINE POUND WEIGHT GAIN!
While pregnant with Ocean and Ever I gained 36 pounds in a full term (37 weeks and one day to be exact) pregnancy. I lost more than that within a month of giving birth. I gained a quarter of that by sitting at my desk eating shit. Junk. In the same time that I gained a quarter of that before I was supporting two lives in my body. Now I'm just rolling through McDonald's picking up a cheeseburger, fries and a coffee on a regular basis or eating a whole box of 100 calorie packs of who-knows-what just because I am bored. Let's don't mention my new found addiction to chemical laden Diet Coke.
Yesterday I began I cleanse because I knew I needed to lose the chemicals and sugar out of my system or I would continually crave them. I decided I would like to lose 18.8 pounds to feel really good.
For the cleanse I take herbs and supplements, drink TONS of water, and eat only raw fruits, veggies and nuts and one piece of cooked up meat in the evening.
This morning I weighed myself and . . . . drum roll please . . . . . . I am 3.5 pounds lighter! Woo hoo! I thought I would probably die of the horrendous headache I had last night from caffeine and sugar withdrawal but I luckily have survived and have a few less lbs to show for it. 3.5 pounds in 24 hours isn't bad.
My tight budget will also assist in my "reduce the big ass campaign" because I will not be able to afford just driving through places willy nilly and will be eating grocery store food and leftovers of homemade food and that will help so much.
Silver linings, my friends, silver linings. Dirty B Word Number One isn't going anywhere unfortunately (I haven't checked my lottery ticket yet so maybe I'm wrong) but luckily it will play a positive roll in kissing Dirty B Word Number Two goodbye!