If you know me well or if you at least have been reading this blog for a long time, you know that I do NOT believe that things are "meant to be," "destiny," or "God's will." I just do not.
I was thinking of this today because I know two people out there who are going through things that I cannot even fathom having to go through. Going through infertility has taught me that even though it is by far the most common response people give others when they don't really know what else to say, no one wants to hear that their suffering is supposed to happen. When I was struggling and struggling and upset and confided in people, I often heard this. I even heard that "God just wants you to care for other's people children because you are so good at it and if you don't get pregnant than you will continue on that path." Yes, that was really meant to console me in some way.
I know this is weird because the vast majority of people obviously find great comfort in hearing these things. When I hear this, even though I know people aren't meaning it this way, it reads to me as "tough shit." Literally. When I hear it to myself or to someone else it doesn't come across as comfort but "life is not in your control. This is what happened and tough shit." I can't stand it.
I am observing as one of these people is sharing what they are going through and it is just awful. This person clearly needs support. There was a lot of support given to her but at the same time there was more "God only gives you what you were meant to have" type business than I thought necessary. Why would someone feel better to know that God wants them to suffer through unimaginable grief and anguish?
I believe that life just happens. We choose our own paths and when crap comes up we choose the next move and have to live with it and that is life. Life sucks big balls sometimes and sometimes life is amazing and wonderful. I don't have anyone to blame for this or to thank for it (ie: God, a higher power). I truly do not believe that there is any reason for people to suffer, but it happens.
So I do want to ask this question, just to understand. Do you believe that things are meant to be? Why?
Just curious . . . .