First, at Target, there was a mom pushing her kid in the stroller. He was screaming, which is annoying as it is, and he was also hitting her. HITTING. His mother, the adult. What? She kept yelling at him to stop but he just kept hitting her. Hubby was laughing. I didn't think it was funny. Didn't mom figure out that this wasn't going to work out? If she wasn't going to discipline him, why didn't she just take him home? I know, I know, wait until I have my own and I'll see how it is. Whatever. In my defense, I have taken 60 kids out in public and none of them hit me or screamed at me. I took 22 3-5 year olds to a movie and a sit down restaurant a month ago with no issues, so I am always confused when I see one parent with one child and the parent can't handle it.
Next we went to Chipotle for lunch (for my GD I had a chicken bowl with no rice, very filling and doesn't raise my blood sugar!). There was a family sitting at a table with seven kids. While I am not interested in any laws regarding people's reproductive rights and how many kids they have, I still have no idea why anyone needs to have that many children. So there was strike one. Then one of the older kids was taking care of the younger kids to eat while mom sat at the table and text messaged. There were about 4 burrito bowls on the table that they were all sharing. Some of the kids were reaching in with their hands to eat the food like animals, which mom could have taught them better if she were either a) not texting or b) didn't have that many kids to begin with. Strike two. Once mom finished texting she pulled one of the children who looked to be a touch older than one year old and then WHIPPED OUT HER NIPPLE to breastfeed the kid at the table. In public. No hooter hider, no bathroom trip, straight up nipple at the table in the middle of Chipotle! While I have decided to attempt breastfeeding and am not a prude who is afraid of body parts, I still don't really care to see someone's nipples while I'm eating lunch in public. I don't know why, I just am not interested in that. Especially when the kid is old enough to say that they would like that as their side dish for lunch. Definitely strike three. They were already out, but then the whole family got up and went out to their huge, gas guzzling, earth destroying vehicle.
I used to just judge others and then move on. It's not like people don't judge me so it's fair. But now there is a little extra terror and doubt when I do that to parents because we are about to become that. I know I'll never have seven kids or show my nipples in public so I don't worry about that. But what if my kid hits me and screams at me while in the store and I am almost done shopping? That would be awful. And embarassing. On the other hand, while those sort of sympathetic thoughts cross my mind, would I really blame anyone for looking at me like what the eff are you thinking? No, I don't think I would blame anyone for that. I guess it's pointless to worry about now because we have quite a few months until we come upon the yelling, screaming, hitting, embarassing age.
Luckily, first comes the snuggly, sleepy, adorable stage. The soft skin and good smelly stage. The everyday is a miracle stage. Almost there, less than 7 weeks before a c-section would commence . . ..
I sooo miss the snuggly phase! (I would go back and relive the first year over and over again if I could! Especially the newborn weeks!!!! You're going to be the sleepy one, though... that helps soften things - cause it could end up being the Double Colic phase if you aren't lucky) Wow - only 7 more weeks!!! Pack chapstick in your hospital bag now.
ReplyDeleteI can't speak to the large family, but I can possibly come to the defense of the mother being hit. Her child may be autistic or have a sensory processing disorder. She may (or may not) be in full control of him at home, but something in Target may have set him off... sensory overload is going to be big in public. The humming fluorescent lights, the squeaky cart wheels, the dozens of people passing by while he sat in a stroller getting dizzy, the smell of that Target popcorn and hot dog area, someone may have stopped and talked to her for 10 minutes which through off their routine... sometimes, in public, you get flustered and at least want to make it look like you acknowledge the bad behavior and are trying to stop it.
Once, in the pediatrician's waiting room, C. was screaming... my choices were to basically ignore him or try to sing/speak to stop it. At that age, I knew my intervention was going to make him only scream louder. And I got some nasty looks from other mothers. One even gasped, "Jesus!" I regret to this day not speaking up on behalf of my child, but it wasn't really any of their business. I just wish I would have gotten sympathy, not glares from them.
Ashley,
ReplyDeleteI worried all night that I came across too harsh yesterday. I apologize for being so blunt. ♥
I ran across your blog through another's. I thought it would be fun to follow you through to see your twins be born safely and be happy there's another mother who is so thankful for her kids. I know you don't know me, don't care probably what I have to say but I am not going to follow anymore. You are very harsh with other people when you don't have a clue about their situation. I remember one time when I was out with my mom and my 2 week old baby and we got a flat tire. So my mom moved the car to take up two parking places so when my dad got there he could change the flat easily and we could be on our way home. This man and his wife are walking past our car and he says, probably not thinking that we can hear, look how they parked good god who do they think they are? I wanted to get out of the car and say look here you SOB, I just had a baby, our car has a flat and he's getting fussy. He had no idea but felt the need to comment. Yes, there are people in this world that don't need to be parents but you don't know what their situation is and you have no right to think you are better then them in any way. The picture of the Duggers is just awful. That's their life, it works for them, they are self sufficient. get over it.
ReplyDeleteJill- No worries on the comment! I have never been in your shoes so I appreciate you sharing your situation with me, I didn't think it was harsh at all!! I love all the advice you give me so I don't want you to worry about it.
ReplyDeleteAnonymous- You are right, I don't know you and don't care what you have to say. This is my space to talk about what I want to, so I do. You certainly don't have to read it!