Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Teen Heartthrobs

I saw "New Moon" last night. I had heard of the books awhile back and thought they looked ridiculous. One day I had strep and was at Target getting my prescription when I saw Twilight on sale for $6. Due to the cost I thought I'd check it out. I read the whole book that day and the entire series in two weeks. The 4th book is a little too freaky for me but I loved the rest.
When Twilight came out in the theatres I made hubby go opening night. The movie was so cheesy and everytime Edward came on girls were screaming and sighing and hubby would just give me the evil eye, so I avoided New Moon on opening weekend.
The movie was lame, but holy moley, that fine young werewolf man was worth the two hours. He was just delicious! I would go camping a lot more if a bunch of guys that looked like that were running around half naked in the woods. Hubby had to start covering my eyes because I was about to drool all over myself. Every perfect, dark muscle showing. Wow . . .
And then to ruin it all, Edward took off his shirt. Really Edward? You are in a movie with a hot little piece of sexy shirtless man-boy and you are gonna take off your shirt? Scrawny, pale, hairy nipples are not attractive, especially compared to ripped, tanned, and manscaped chests. Also, Edward, please get a haircut and use shampoo. You look like you got off of a 3 day bender in which you spent half of it in an alley somewhere. Ugh, so disappointed . . . .
If you've ever heard the saying "don't throw stones in a glass house," I will admit that I'm the glass house right now. I really shouldn't be questioning anyone's nudity. NOBODY is lining up around the block to see me topless. Between the national geographic boobs and my protruding belly, I look like an orangutang naked!! I just have to work with my sparkling personality, it's all I've got left.
I really wanted to see "The Blind Side," especially because I am/was a foster parent. But unless the homeless kid suddenly starts being played by a shirtless Taylor Lautner, I don't think I'm interested anymore.

6 comments:

  1. OMG, you had me rolling with your commentary about Edward. I read the first book and just couldn't really get into it.

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  2. Hahaha...you are too funny! I want you to preview all the movies I am interested in seeing...very entertaining, Ashley:)...I love your writing and check often even if I don't get to leave a comment...Lori

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  3. Hilarious about Edward shirtless ;)

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  4. Oh lord, Edward is soooo not attractive, lol.

    I'm not big on the Twilight franchise to begin with, but the New Moon opening was the last straw. It was on my birthday, and all I wanted to do was see Blind Side, but noooo all those screaming tweens, uck, lol.

    I will admit that kid is kinda hot (we will pretend he isn't, like, 17)...

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  5. so true! i also fell victim to the Twilight series because the book was on sale at Target.

    i went to New Moon with my sister on opening night - totally agree about poor shirtless Edward. so hilarious when wolf-boy ripped his shirt off after she fell off the motorcycle. i think Team Jacob has increased in numbers for all of the reasons you mentioned. :)

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  6. LOLOLOLOLOLOL

    I read the books, and enjoyed them as entertainment, but the movies just look too cheesy for words. I work in a bookstore, and I am more than ready for the Twilight phenomenon to be done and over.

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