Sunday, November 15, 2009

Second Trimester

I've made it. I actually made it 4 days ago. It's unbelievable to me. I went to the first specialist appointment scared. I still use the Baby Beat everyday (sometimes twice). When I watch the ultrasounds happening on the screen, I feel like it is happening to someone else. When I was dreaming of the day that I would see a little heartbeat, I imagined crying my eyeballs out with joy. I haven't shed one tear because I am still in shock.

But I've made it to the second trimester. The fact that I am still truckin' along is so bizarre to me. I did many things to make it believable. Things that are actually considered taboo in the infertile world. I can't tell you how many posts I have seen on my infertility board about how these women can just not believe that anyone would tell people they are pregnant at 8 weeks or anytime before the first trimester is over. We shouted it from the rooftops at 4 weeks. I have a baby box and have bought baby items. I also bought maternity pants before the second trimester came along (although I didn't have much of a choice). We've picked out names, furniture, and began getting the house ready.

But it still seems like a dream. This is the only time we will experience this and I want reality to hit soon, but it just hasn't. I keep buying things and talking about it, so I'm hoping to get hit with it very soon. I will even share the loot with you!

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This is the baby box. It was a gift from my grandparents the day we got our first positive beta test. My grandparents gave us the little trinkets, I bought the little jammies, and yes, I peed on 5 pregnancy tests of which I will save for the rest of my life.

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This is just one of the onesies I've purchased. I also have a 5 pack of plain white ones, a pack of 3 socks (although now that we are having twins that's not really adequate), and 4 pair of pants. All unisex of course. Oh yeah, and two sleep sacks.

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Our first package of diapers. We have received the advice of several people that everytime we go to the store we should pick up a pack of diapers. For some odd reason, this was the one thing I wasn't comfortable with until the second trimester. I knew I would keep my pee sticks forever. I could always give the clothes to someone as gift or give them to my foster agency in the event of a tragedy. But diapers are too personal and I couldn't bring myself to buy them. Today I did it, my first package of Pampers! 36 little diapies for 8.99 (good God that's crazy).

I can't believe this is happening to me . . . .

4 comments:

  1. yay! So happy that you made it to this point - i can see how the shock would last a long time when you've been through so much. so nice to read a hopeful, happy post today. :)

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  2. SO exciting - congratulations!! And great idea about the diapers, I hadn't heard that one yet...

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  3. I'm on the same infertility board, and I enjoy reading your blog. I'm a couple of days behind you, and still in shock as well. I have yet to be able to buy anything, but my husband and I also told some people at 4 weeks. How could we not? They knew we were doing IVF. Like you, I still have my collection of pregnancy tests from August/Sept. Congratulations!

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  4. I wanted to say CONGRATULATIONS to you! You deserve this and I am so happy for you! I don't even know you, but having been there myself, I know! I am now the Proud Mother of two! Relish your little Blessings from GOD...they are true MIRACLES!

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