Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Last birth control pill down the hatch!

I took my last birth control pill and had my suppression scan this morning. It was super quick. They did a practice run of the catheter insertion for when they put my little guys back in. I got a sonohysterogram, which is where they filled my uterus up with water to see if I had any polyps. None there and no cysts! Yay! The RE (reproductive endocrinologist) is so sweet and great, I'm very happy so far. She actually did all that herself, not a nurse. That rarely happened at the other office! Last night we went to the bank to have all the papers notarized saying that we are legally married, that we are doing this because one or both of us is infertile, that if we didn't do it pregnancy was unlikely, that they are allowed to freeze any of our babies we don't put back in . . . blah, blah, blah. On part of the IVF consent forms it lists all the things that could go wrong. Since I am a few french fries short of a happy meal at this time, I cried my eyeballs out and asked the IVF coordinator if they had ever mutilated anyone's organs while doing IVF. :) Yep, one flew over the cuckoo's nest. She was very kind and serious in assuring me that it has never happened there.

I went to pay my fee and didn't know you couldn't run your debit card for thousands of dollars. I had to go get a cashier's check but it was a good 45 minutes until the bank lobby opened. So my dear grandparents live close to the bank and got to witness a total meltdown. I cried so much I had mascara marks on my cleavage. I went to the bank and asked for a cashier's check for $8,883.00. The woman stared at me and I told her what it was for. She said "just for one treatment?" I told her this was only at the doctor, I still have to buy meds and pay the hospital. She told me she really hopes it works, which was sweet. I was about 60 seconds from another meltdown so I left just in time, went back and handed over the dough, and then went on to work.

The crappy part, I still don't start stimulation shots (the good stuff where I will get lots of eggies to pull out) until the 9th!! I am so ready to get going, I was hoping I could start this weekend, but no. When I do start, I will be taking 3 shots to the stomach every night for about 10 days. The date that I will be praying for egg retrieval is August 19th.

I have got to calm down!! In the next weeks I am going to go to yoga, which I can only do until the 9th. After that, I am treating myself to a massage once a week and will be attempting to spend time each evening calming my mind. My goal is also to take each step one at a time because I keep thinking towards the future, but I need to think about today.

New goal: calming down and relaxing!! If I don't find a way to get a hold of myself soon, I am going to make bald head Britney Spears beating cars with an umbrella look like the small time. Not good.


  1. Goodness, maybe I shouldn't read these posts...I am in tears again! Wow, the memories flood back in:)...no, really, I am sorry for your meltdown. It does get so hard not to be emotional when all the meds are coursing through your body. I am so sorry that you are experiencing this. I wish I could give you a big hug and tell you it will all be fine. I know that is impossible...so sending a big cyber-((hug)) and wishing for the best possible cycle for you...lots of follicles...lots of possibilities for your baby dreams to come true...Lori...

  2. I love your blogs! I'm wishing you all the best as you go through this journey...hang in there!

  3. Ashley,
    Just figured out how to get back on your blog. You should really think about being a writer, seriously - I know this is all about your life, and it is a very personal and difficult subject, but the way you write it is very touching and inspiring. You are a brave and wonderful young lady, and I am proud to be your Aunt T. And, also, you married a fantastic man! Wishing you all the best...I will keep reading. You know I love you, Pook - you are more than dear to me and always have been, and always will be. Hope to talk to you soon. Aunt T


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