After a weepy and whiny start to my morning, things got better. No matter what happens, writing that check is going to hurt, so it's time to get over it. I played a game of war with a few of my kiddos at summer camp. I then went to my pre-k room and got a ton of snuggles. I will also accept that my anxiety is not going to go away so I will have to learn to live with it.
Good news also came today! We received a call about placements from our foster agency. We will soon be housing twins and their sib. We are so happy to have kids back in the house, as our other kiddos just left! Now I can busy myself cleaning and reorganizing in the coming weeks, just waiting (and waiting and waiting and waiting) to get started on stims for IVF.
I'm sure I will speak of my fosters in future posts, so to protect their identity they will be called Thing 1, Thing 2, and Sweetiepie (I can only hope that will be true after the last month of expletives I received from the others). Being able to parent and enjoy living a family life even with our infertility struggles is such a blessing. This led me to try to turn my frown upside down by thinking of all the other things that are blessings in my life I need to be thankful for:
1. The best husband a wife could ever dream of.
2. An awesome and supportive family.
3. Fabulous friends who listen to my whining and crying and don't judge.
4. My health. Other than this garbage of a reproductive system, I am athletic and healthy!
5. My furbaby, Rocky, even though he still pees on everything in the house.
6. My job.
7. My husband's job.
8. My sense of adventure and the many vacations hubby and I take together.
9. My kiddos at work.
10. My home.
11. The fact that we can find a way to (sort of) afford IVF.
12. My online support community, couldn't make it without them.
13. My drugs (prescription people, don't get any ideas).
14. My new RE who I like so far.
15. My vehicle that always gets me from point A to point B.
16. My foster family (even in the tough times).
17. A beautiful evening and dinner on the back deck with my hubby tonight.
18. The fact that I have a good spare kidney to sell on Ebay just in case this IVF doesn't work.
I'm going to go to bed on that note and try to remember all these things in the morning!