Sunday, May 22, 2011

Mommy Fail Number Infinity

I am a laid back parent. Very laid back. Our pedi's office told me I'm not the usual first time mom. Technically, I am a first time mom but I have had five foster kids plus have worked with kids for awhile so I know that they can eat poop and boogers and still live so really, I don't freak out too often. Here are the horrifying things I've done:

1. Let them eat junk food on occasion
2. Let them crawl around on public floors, one time even a bar and grill floor
3. Let them kiss dogs on the mouth
4. Let them play in/eat dirt
5. Let them jump on the couch
6. Today I found Ocean splashing in an unflushed toilet. I flushed it, doused him with antibacterial wash and then continued doing my hair
7. I let strangers hold them if they don't look too dirty or like child molesters
8. I'm not going to admit anything else

There are a few things, though, that I'm a kook about.

1. When they get booboos. I HATE it. I freak out, completely unreasonably, every time they bump, fall or get any little amount of discomfort. FREAK OUT.

2. Night time. I sometimes wake up and just go look at them. I don't know what drives me to do this, but I do it. I sometimes sleep in their cribs with them. I make extra sure that all the doors are locked at night. I do not allow crib bumpers (although I do allow blankets, pillows, lovies so that is kind of stupid). I worry about the temperature in the room, fire, robbers, finger eating ferrets, spiders, ghosts, all kinds of things. And then last night . . . .


Please take a moment to digest that and read it again . . .


What the french toast? For the first time that there was actual real, not imaginary danger I slept like a baby! Hubby did too. I woke up because there was really loud banging outside the house but then I thought, oh well, and went back to sleep.

My children are not safe. The ONE TIME I should have got up and carted us all into the stairwell just to be safe, I decided to get some shut eye instead. Thankfully, we are all okay and there wasn't a tornado exactly where we live, just close. I'm wondering if I should even sleep tonight because I let my guard down and totally sucked. Seriously . . . .




  1. I've been around kids enough to know those things too. My sister-in-law who has 2 kids freaks out about everything! I always sit back and say, "they'll be fine"...and they end up being okay. You had tornadoes last night too? We had a tornado about an hour from us (in Joplin). I love the pictures! The captions made me LOL. Seriously.

  2. I've crawled into B's crib too. Hubs thought I was nuts, but whatever. It didn't help B go to sleep, but at least I tried! :)

  3. bwahahaha!! That's too funny! "finger-eating-ferrets" just cracked me up!
    And I worry about the same things! I check and double check the locks and wake up at least every other hour just to sit up and look at her!

  4. I'm pretty laid back too (except for the toilet thing, but that's MY issue!), but I'd feel bad if I slept through a tornado siren! How did you do that? I wake up if the cat rolls over????

  5. I don't think I've ever actually heard an emergency siren. We are sound sleepers... I do know Lew slept through fire drills in college.

    I had no idea ferrets fed on humans! Yikes!!

  6. Too a good laugh from this post! (Love #8)

  7. I so wish I could crawl into Nico's crib, but I'm too big! I am sure I'd break it. I would be sooooooo tempted if I could fit, though!

    Well, we get tornado warnings out here, but there are no sirens. You have to be awak and watching TV in order to get the warning. So yeah, I've slept through a bunch of them, too.

    Alls well that ends well! Now you probably won't sleep for a week ... :)


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