Sunday, October 25, 2009

Stroller Peeve

Every year in Kansas City, the Junior League sponsors an even called Holiday Mart. Vendors come from around the country to a huge convention center type place for the mother load of shopping. Jewelry, clothing, home decor, and seriously everything you can imagine. It was seriously difficult not to get my annual "wine-a-rita" sample, but I did not partake. I enjoy this activity every year, there is some really cool stuff and it's a fun little thing to look forward to. Last year I went in an attempt to enjoy myself, but it was actually torture. There are a lot of photographers offering deals on sessions, newborn and maternity. There are also lots of vendors with absolutely fabulous children's clothing. For someone who is knee deep in infertility, had just maxed out the amount of time they could do Clomid, and was just wandering into the world of specialists, injections, and IUI's, the place is kind of a nightmare. Not to mention the bazillion women with HUGE strollers who take up a lot of space in a very crowded area. I asked myself why these idiots couldn't get a babysitter, or the very least a baby bjorn and have some common courtesy for those of us who aren't thrilled about the crowding but are downright pissed to have to move around your stroller or get hit in the shins with your shitty stroller maneuvering. Just because you have a child doesn't give you the right to take up all the space in the planet and injure others.
So this year I thought I would be a little more chipper because I am pregnant and would like looking in the stroller and imagining my little monkey's snuggled up while I was shopping. Now, I had a much better time shopping and got good ideas for pictures. But even minus bitterness, I was still PISSED about the damn strollers!! I wish they could make it like Vegas, where strollers aren't allowed in shopping areas. There are places I expect strollers, like the large malls, zoos, the outdoors. But not a crowded as fuck charity sale. There was one mom in line and she had twins. My heart melted for a minute thinking I should be where she is next year, but it was quickly replaced by an urge to throw something at the dumb bitch for bringing a hummer sized stroller to take up an entire aisle.
Two things to leave you with:
1. Have some courtesy and get a baby sling, a babysitter, or keep your ass at home if you are going to be making everyone's lives annoying thinking we are so excited to see your bundle of joy that we want to get rammed up the ass by fake santas and clothing hangers trying to get around you.
2. I know motherhood changes people, but if you're reading this and you live in Kansas City, take a good look at my picture. When you see me at Holiday Mart next year, buying up the place (there were seriously awesome outfits there and hopefully I won't be a whale anymore by then), you will NOT see me with my hummer sized stroller. I will not let motherhood make me an egocentric asshole who thinks everyone should get out of the way because here comes the mommy. I promise. :)
Oh yeah, the OB called Friday and I should have a peri appointment in about 3 weeks. That is who will make sure the monkey's are healthy. I will officially be in the second trimester, so if the peri thinks they look as great as the OB, we can put together the nursery with a good conscience!


  1. hahahahaha love this post, and I love the reference to the SUV stroller you are talking about. hahahaha I love kids, but I have to agree with you about the egocentricism that comes with having a brood: it is sometimes a bit annoying to have to manuver around those ridiculous things.

    hahahaha thanks for the giggle!!!!!

  2. I love it! I work in retail, and really some people are just beyond dumb bringing their gigantic strollers in. Not to mention strollers are a loss prevention nightmare!


  3. I just found your blog and cracked up reading this post. The Junior League does an event just like this in Austin, TX where I live and I LOVE the wine-a-rita booth!!!!! Best stuff ever!


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