Graduation

Both monkey's are okay!! Phew. I almost had a heart attack while waiting in the parking lot at the RE's office. I got there a little early because I thought the earlier I got there the faster they would get me in. Except that didn't work because hubby got there right on time. I gave a few last minute shout outs to the universe while I was waiting, although in my mind I know that doesn't help anything but for some reason it helps us humans to beg a higher being to come through with a miracle. I also listened to my stomach growl which was straight up embarassing because it was 12:45 and I had already eaten three times.

We went in to the waiting room. Waiting rooms at an RE office are so weird. If you go to the OB's office, which I haven't gone to in a LONG time because it is traumatizing, everyone is fat and pregnant and happy. Sometimes they're pregnant and hauling around 3 other kids. Family practice doctor's are similar. But at the RE's office, it is dead silent. Nobody makes eye contact with anyone else. No one speaks to each other. Everyone will look at everything they can find besides another person in the room. Maybe it's because everyone can only imagine what is going to happen to the other people. Will that woman reading a magazine get major machinery stuck up her hoo ha? Willl that dude in the corner have to go jerk off down the hall? Or maybe everyone is just ashamed to have infertility. Or maybe everyone is so broken and beat down from this crappy journey that no one wants to speak anymore. It's hard for me because I want to talk to everyone in the waiting room! HELLO!! They are people like me! Not just online people (I love you people by the way, don't take it wrong), but in the flesh infertiles, the 20%, right before my eyes. We could swap stories, we could go to dinner and not talk about babies, we could do things that we wish all our friends did with us but they are not infertile and don't get it at all. I think about that when I look around the waiting room, but I have never violated the unspoken no talking/no eye contact rule in the RE waiting room.

Anywho, back to the point of the story. We got called back, she asked if I needed to pee, I said no I just had. I took off my pants and undies and wrapped a sheet around my lady part and my butt that is clearly only made for size 0-4 women because I can never get it all in. We went to the next room to wait for the ultrasound. It seemed like forever and I had to pee again bad. The nurse and Dr. B finally came in. She asked how I was doing and I just stared at her. Umm, I'm bleeding and scared to death, thanks, how are you? She got the point after I stared at her and said, oh yes, you must be so worried let's get in there and check it out! Duh. So she said both sacs are still in great shape, no evidence of them caving in or getting smaller. Then she measured Twin A. This moment in time shaved a good 5 years off of my life span. The measurement came out to 7w0d, when it should have been 8w5d. I leaned my head back and stopped looking knowing that this was the end. But then it just so happens she got a bad angle and Twin A (which is a girl, I'm telling you) actually came in at 8w2d with a strong heartbeat. Twin B was pretty much the same (which is a boy, because he is a little smaller and slower to get around, lazy like a man would be).

I had to take a few deep breaths to calm down. Then Dr. B announced that I have graduated! My next appointment will not be with them and I could go to Consult Room 4 to sign paperwork to leave their office. I can call them anytime I would like and they expect a birth announcement, but my next appointment will be the 19th with the OB. Oh yeah, and I had a balance of $665.00 for a sonohysto something or other when they checked my uterus for polyps and the blood tests that my insurance won't recogonize in their lab. Thanks infertility for taking one last jab at my wallet, I know you can't help yourself.

I know we are not out of the woods, but with two good ultrasounds down, almost being to 9 weeks, and getting released to an OB gives me tons of relief. I really wanted to go shop and buy myself or the babies a graduation present, but I am on pelvic rest. I can go to work and back as long as I sit on my ass while there, no lifting, no excessive walking or standing on my feet, no exercise and no sex for at least two weeks. I should make no extra unneccesary trips anywhere, if I can be on my back, I should be, even though she is not really worried about the bleeding and there is no cause for it that she can find. Hubby says he is happy to finally see a smile on my face again. But hearing their heartbeats and seeing that they had both grown over 10mm since last visit gave me some assurance. Their sacs are perfect and my cervix is long and closed (I knew closed was good, but didn't know anything about length)!

Thank goodness, I needed that! I would post the ultrasound pics, but they just look like blobs still. Twin B also didn't care to cooperate for photos so his picture kind of sucks.

Ah, it's nice to feel calmer. Crossing my fingers that it lasts!