A Sigh of Relief

Beta #3 was 2,330 15dp5dt (20 days past ovulation). If you're not sure what beta numbers mean, click here. Thank goodness! It was an interesting chain of events to get the beta result. Last night before bed I finally felt calm. Having the kiddos back in the house after a family visit made me feel good. The other reason is I feel like I have checked the tp millions of times and it has been fine. Even if it's not fine, there's nothing I can do so I finally felt confident that everything will be okay.

My last night of progesterone injections was Sunday. My progesterone levels were good today, but I was paranoid this morning. We all got ready and made our stops at school and daycare then I headed in for my beta at the usual time, 8:15. I went about my work business then pulled up my email at 11:15 (the usual time I receive results) and waited for a new email.

Nothing came.

Went about some more business.

Nothing came still.

Hubby called once and my mom called twice in that time. I started to panic. I thought maybe it was bad news and she didn't want to tell me. Maybe it was so bewildering that they sent it back to the lab for a redo (is that possible?). I felt panic coming on. Finally at 2:15 I could not take it anymore and I called in. The IVF Coordinator said she was at a meeting and knew I was worried, but then she told me our wonderful and high number. Whew! I apologized for being annoying and made many phone calls and went about my day.

The first ultrasound is in two weeks from tomorrow, when I am 7 weeks along. I can't wait. I took the earliest appointment I could get. I need to find a hobby. Remember when I posted about how much I loved anesthesia? I wish I could be on that good stuff for the next two weeks. I'd even settle for a valium a few times a day. Patience in not a virtue I possess.

I'm going to have to rant about something quickly that may be offensive, but it does bother me. Many times since I have been on support boards of various types, there have been women who have said that they cannot afford Clomid or something of that sort without insurance. It is $65.00. At first I was like "yeah, that sucks" because I paid for it for 8 months out of pocket and it was a waste for me. But then I was thinking, now that I have an 18 month old in the house, if you don't have a spare $65.00, you cannot afford a child! When people say "if you can't afford treatments, you shouldn't have kids" I get really pissed because who actually has $12,000 laying around for IVF, or really even an extra $2,000 a month for an IUI and injectible cycle not covered by insurance?? Probably not many people. But $65? That is a real concern for me the more I think about it. A box of diapers that I bought last night was $20.00. For one box. When I had teenagers, I went to sign one up for summer school. Foster parents get a really cheap rate of only $45.00. The other foster parent standing next to me did not even have that, and I thought it was crazy! Also when I had teenagers, they ate an average of $250.00 a week in food between the three of them. I was not prepared for that! They were like locusts, consuming the kitchen.

I know that this sounds kinda bitchy, but I think people really need to plan ahead for having children. I know that I am lucky to have a job and lucky that I have extra money to use. But it's really not luck. I don't make very much money and have the mother load of student loans, but I budget. Anyway, now that I have seen it a few times and again today, I had to let it out somewhere. I would only say something kind to a person's face about this because it is unneccesary to lecture or make someone feel bad about money issues, but this is my space, and I'll say what I want here damn it!

This is what will happen with my idle mind for the next two weeks, waiting for the big day!

And probably checking 12 million more sheets of tp.