Friday, January 14, 2011

Suze Orman Depresses Me

Unless you are currently living under a rock, you know that Nadya Suleman, Octomom, was on Oprah today getting reamed by Suze Orman, a financial guru, about her life. Who could miss it? We've all been waiting for her to get a good reaming by someone face to face and we all know she is obvioulsy not smart with finances.

But I didn't like it.

I know she needs it, she needs lots of things, but I felt a little uncomfortable.

Suze told her that she must be a baby addict and also told her not worry about what everyone thinks about her because everyone already hates her. Ouch.

She began talking about her finances before the octuplets and that she couldn't afford the six that she had, so what on earth was she thinking even trying to get more.

Yeah, duh, what the hell was she thinking?

Then Suze Orman looked into the crowd and said that we should all not be judging her because there are thousands just like her. Even if you just have one and you are just barely affording it and you just think to yourself I will just have two, or three and I don't have 8 months of expenses saved, plus retirement, plus living debt free, plus able to live comfortably with how ever many children you decide to have then you are no better than Octomom, says Suze Orman.

I don't live debt free with 8 months of expenses saved (I do have retirement though, yay for me). So I felt like a poor asshole.

I also could probably best afford one child with childcare and all this savings I should have and all the little things that add up when you have a baby in the house, but I have two children. I have two children because I transferred (planted, as Oprah said) two embryos instead of one to give myself the best chances of success. So I felt like a selfish asshole.

Could it be true? Is Suze Orman right? Based on these facts, am I no better than Octomom, the most hated mama around? Surely Suze Orman cannot be correct in this statement. We have all spent years judging all of Octomoms mistakes, how could I be anything like that?

Then she asked Octomom the question that everyone wonders "did you make a mistake?"

She was careful to say that this doesn't mean you don't love them dearly, but if you could go back in time, would you do the same thing?

I know the answer everyone wants to hear, that it was a huge mistake and she never should have done this.

But I just didn't want her to say it.

I am well past those days and now I am enjoying motherhood, not just loving it, but enjoying it. I just didn't want her to say it because I thought of those very hard first weeks, around three weeks I believe, when I spent night after night crying because I did not have enough hands, time or patience to care for two babies at once. Why did I do this? I felt like I wasn't mother material because why was this just so dang hard? I looked at my innocent little bundles and couldn't belive what I had done to all of us. I just wasn't enough and it felt like shit. I cannot imagine how Octomom feels with EIGHT little bundles staring at her for help, PLUS six others.

I found out it is so worth it, beyond worth it, and I KNOW that one set of twins is entirely different than 14 kids, including two sets of multiples and a child with autism and being single with no normal way of earning income, but I wanted Octomom, even though it makes no sense whatsoever, to say it is hard and tough but it was completely worth it. The show was going while I was playing on the floor with my two awesome monkeys. We were singing songs and playing toys and they were looking up at me with their big beautiful brown eyes and I was thinking that I am the luckiest person on earth and surely Octomom felt that way times 14.

She said if she knew what she knows now, she would not have done it. I knew it was coming, but I did want to hear that everything was finally working out. Suze Orman set her straight and all was well. Happily. ever. after.

I came to two conclusions by the end of the show:

1. Octomom is batshit crazy (there were a few really weird moments of self diagnosis, freak outs, and nervous laughter).

2. I feel bad for her. On top of feeling bad for her, I want her to succeed. I just want her to, I don't know why. For the kids maybe? As I'm looking at my small house covered in toys and laundry and thinking of my own measly bills, I can't imagine how she is doing it with 14 mouths to feed and care for. Therefore, I shouldn't judge.

I know, pinch yourself, I just said that for realz.


My two little mouths that I feed in my house. They LOVE to eat! They now eat more table foods, even though Peanut is toothless (and hairless, I might add). I'm trying to start feeding them different types of things because in a few short months they should be completely on table foods, which I can't imagine, mostly because I will be forced to start cooking again.


  1. 1) Yeah, who has all those financial things before kids? Probably less than 1% of people. We have retirement accounts (not nearly enough yet obviously), probably more than 8 months funds saved, but not even close to no debt! Still plenty of college loans, a car loan, and a mortgage. I know, for shame!

    2) I too am so dreading baby eating actual adult food because we'll have to not only cook but cook healthy stuff!

  2. I am playing those questions in my mind right now as I sit here thinking about 3 heartbeats at 6w3d. I am scared to death.

  3. I love bald babies! (and Gretchen didn't get a tooth until right before turning 1.)

    One of my favorite "meals" for them was deli turkey. Ask the guy at the counter to slice it about 1/4" thick for you and serve it to them cut into cubes. Nice protein, easy to pick up or use a fork when they start with utensils... and easy to "cook". I actually still send it for Carl's lunch that way now some days with crackers. (pre-school lays out very strictly what we are to pack... protein, grain, fruit, veggie... serving size, etc)

    It isn't that I really care one way of the other about Octomom, but I do want the best for those kids. I'm also not a Suze Orman fan. We have been financially stable long enough to be somewhat above her being able to really help. You know? There are some people who need her advice and really do need to make those changes, though. I'm pretty sure belittling someone on national TV is the best way to motivate, though. (Hmmm, the Biggest Loser style of financial help?)

    MyVegas.. congrats! Wow 3!! Now, go take a nap!

  4. I didn't get a chance to watch it! Bummer!

    Eh, we're so poor we shouldn't even have half a kid. Lol. I loved when before baby, people would say that babies were so expensive. I was like, shit, I've already paid thirty grand to just try! :P

    Eeeewww...not cooking again!!!

  5. hey, if you are a poor asshole then I am a poor asshole... and I really don't like that... SO.. you are NOT and I am NOT! How deep was that? lol

    It's still different. We didn't have 6 kids already. And we only implanted 2 embryos. And you know darn well that, with our luck, if we had only implanted one embryo we would be still be trying to get pregnat... its how it works. (Don't try to talk me out of this way of thinking, you kow what I mean)

    I didn't see it, I was kinda busy with my twins, but I hope she does make it. If nothing else for the babie's sake. Suse really does make people feel bad about themselves, ah well!

    Good luck with the cooking! I will be tuning in to see how that goes =)

  6. That was a great post. I was so angry at OctoMom when she was pregnant, but you really made me feel for her. I still resent her doctor helping a crazy lady to have 6 kids, but you know, I do want her to succeed and be able to flip the bird to all the juidgers. The sad part is, I think the chances of that are so close to nil.

    BUT........ but tons of families have done it before. My dad was a Depression baby (yeah, he's pretty old) who literally never had new shoes until he was in highschool. My husband's grandma was the youngest of 8 kids, and her dad died before she was 4 years old. Her mom never really learned English, and yet she raised those 8 kids on her own, dirt poor. Grandma was an awesome, tough, spunky lady, and I'm sure that a big part of her peronsality was the way she grew up. So Suze Orman can kiss my a$$. If everyone followed her advice (and was as judgy as her), there would hardly be any families out there.


Thanks for stopping by! Sorry, no anonymous comments, if you can't put your name on it it's just no fun!