Unless you are currently living under a rock, you know that Nadya Suleman, Octomom, was on Oprah today getting reamed by Suze Orman, a financial guru, about her life. Who could miss it? We've all been waiting for her to get a good reaming by someone face to face and we all know she is obvioulsy not smart with finances.
But I didn't like it.
I know she needs it, she needs lots of things, but I felt a little uncomfortable.
Suze told her that she must be a baby addict and also told her not worry about what everyone thinks about her because everyone already hates her. Ouch.
She began talking about her finances before the octuplets and that she couldn't afford the six that she had, so what on earth was she thinking even trying to get more.
Yeah, duh, what the hell was she thinking?
Then Suze Orman looked into the crowd and said that we should all not be judging her because there are thousands just like her. Even if you just have one and you are just barely affording it and you just think to yourself I will just have two, or three and I don't have 8 months of expenses saved, plus retirement, plus living debt free, plus able to live comfortably with how ever many children you decide to have then you are no better than Octomom, says Suze Orman.
I don't live debt free with 8 months of expenses saved (I do have retirement though, yay for me). So I felt like a poor asshole.
I also could probably best afford one child with childcare and all this savings I should have and all the little things that add up when you have a baby in the house, but I have two children. I have two children because I transferred (planted, as Oprah said) two embryos instead of one to give myself the best chances of success. So I felt like a selfish asshole.
Could it be true? Is Suze Orman right? Based on these facts, am I no better than Octomom, the most hated mama around? Surely Suze Orman cannot be correct in this statement. We have all spent years judging all of Octomoms mistakes, how could I be anything like that?
Then she asked Octomom the question that everyone wonders "did you make a mistake?"
She was careful to say that this doesn't mean you don't love them dearly, but if you could go back in time, would you do the same thing?
I know the answer everyone wants to hear, that it was a huge mistake and she never should have done this.
But I just didn't want her to say it.
I am well past those days and now I am enjoying motherhood, not just loving it, but enjoying it. I just didn't want her to say it because I thought of those very hard first weeks, around three weeks I believe, when I spent night after night crying because I did not have enough hands, time or patience to care for two babies at once. Why did I do this? I felt like I wasn't mother material because why was this just so dang hard? I looked at my innocent little bundles and couldn't belive what I had done to all of us. I just wasn't enough and it felt like shit. I cannot imagine how Octomom feels with EIGHT little bundles staring at her for help, PLUS six others.
I found out it is so worth it, beyond worth it, and I KNOW that one set of twins is entirely different than 14 kids, including two sets of multiples and a child with autism and being single with no normal way of earning income, but I wanted Octomom, even though it makes no sense whatsoever, to say it is hard and tough but it was completely worth it. The show was going while I was playing on the floor with my two awesome monkeys. We were singing songs and playing toys and they were looking up at me with their big beautiful brown eyes and I was thinking that I am the luckiest person on earth and surely Octomom felt that way times 14.
She said if she knew what she knows now, she would not have done it. I knew it was coming, but I did want to hear that everything was finally working out. Suze Orman set her straight and all was well. Happily. ever. after.
I came to two conclusions by the end of the show:
1. Octomom is batshit crazy (there were a few really weird moments of self diagnosis, freak outs, and nervous laughter).
2. I feel bad for her. On top of feeling bad for her, I want her to succeed. I just want her to, I don't know why. For the kids maybe? As I'm looking at my small house covered in toys and laundry and thinking of my own measly bills, I can't imagine how she is doing it with 14 mouths to feed and care for. Therefore, I shouldn't judge.
I know, pinch yourself, I just said that for realz.
My two little mouths that I feed in my house. They LOVE to eat! They now eat more table foods, even though Peanut is toothless (and hairless, I might add). I'm trying to start feeding them different types of things because in a few short months they should be completely on table foods, which I can't imagine, mostly because I will be forced to start cooking again.