- I was absolutely disgusted by Teen Mom this week. They showed Amber just wailing on her boyfriend while he stood there. She slapped him, punched him, called him all kinds of expletives, it was awful! I don't mean to be a precious snowflake or anything, but really I almost cried. Right after they showed it, they put up a little message about where to go if you have been a victim of domestic violence. They need to remove them from the show and remove that child from her mother's care. It's terrible!
- I watched "Sister Wives" on TLC. They all seem like nice people, I guess. I actually think they are pretty smart. They've got three breadwinners and a stay at home. I decided I'm going to get some brother husbands: 1. Rick Fox (the only reason I watch Dancing with the Stars) 2. Anderson Cooper 3. Zac Effron (yes, he's legal)
Hubby says anyone that wants more than one wife is crazy. Now law enforcement is investigating them for bigamy. I personally think it's a waste of taxpayer dollars. They are all consenting adults. While I don't want any sister wives in my hood, I really don't care if someone else does. Child brides and things like that are obviously wrong, but for consenting adults, who cares?
- I had a real life WTF at the doctor's office yesterday. The nurse asked about my twins (we all go to the same GP) and if they run in the family or if I "took medicine to get twins." I don't know why, but I was seriously pissed off. I told her no, I didn't take medicine to get twins, I went through IVF with shots in the stomach for a month to have a 60% chance at one baby and we were lucky that we have two. I thought that would shut her up, but it didn't! She then said "oh, so you could have had six or seven?" I told her no, I could not have had six or seven because we only put two in, followed by the death stare. She finally figured out that the subject needed to be changed. Idiot!! I'm very open about what we did to have our family, but the way she was wording it made me want to slap her (luckily I am not into violence). It's bad enough when you hear these things from random strangers on the street, but medical professionals?? Really? I have spoken about our situation at length with another nurse there and she asked some off color questions, but she really just wanted to know as she is heading in the direction of fertility treatments herself. I've been thinking about calling back to ask the doctor to give some education to their staff since they see so many babies and have an OB in the office, but I'm not sure if it would change anything. What would you do? It just made me mad, but comments like that can be really upsetting for some. Best baby moments of the week: Giggles! They are so super cute. I will try to catch some on video soon, but they are pretty selective. Ever really only giggles for hubby, but I got her to giggle with dancing the other night. Love!!
I'm going to be completely honest here: I was not fond of the first six weeks of being a mommy. I know I'm not supposed to admit that because I am infertile but it's true. I loved my babies immensely and burst into tears randomly when I looked at them. I loved having them sleep on my chest and smelling their little baby smells.
But I also felt completely insane. We went from two to four in the matter of an hour when I walked in for my c-section. I was in more pain than I ever thought I would be. I decided to attempt breastfeeding, which sucked and I felt like an animal in the barn (no offense if you love it). I was always scared something would happen and even if I got the luxury of two straight hours of sleep (although that was rare) I had to wake up to make sure that they were breathing properly and sometimes to even check to make sure that I really ever had any babies. I worried I was doing everything wrong that would cause them permanent damage and they would never forgive me. It was pretty miserable. If we were out and about I knew someone had twins because they would come up to me and say "it will get better, I know you're miserable but after a year it will be better." No one told me this before the babies came so I was in shock.
Things started looking better around 6-7 weeks and really in the last month there have been big changes. They are sleeping more which means I am sleeping more and it makes all the difference in the world. I love their smiles and watching them hit all their milestones. I just love everything about them.
Last night I felt like I was high on mommyhood. I came home from work and they were both sleeping. I ate dinner and looked over at Ocean on the couch and he was looking around. I walked over and he saw me and gave me the biggest grin. I scooped him up and he nuzzled into my neck for a second then looked at me. He smiled again. I was looking at his little face and thinking how flawless he is, everything is just perfect and beautiful. He is just such a sweet boy.
Ever got up and she is such a wild little thing, I love it! She flails her arms around when she gets excited and it cracks me up. It was bath night so I gave her a bath where she splish splashes water. You also have to give her a washcloth of her own or she gets mad. I pulled her out of the tub and we went into the living room. "Dancing with the Stars" was on so I danced around with her naked booty and she giggled and laughed. Afterwards she had a bottle, went to sleep and slept for almost 11 hours!
I'm so excited that this just gets better and better. I can't imagine that it could get any better, and then things like last night happen and it's amazing. I spend most of my day counting down the seconds until I get to see my monkeys again. I'm so thankful that having my sweethearts is such a joy. I think about what it will be like when they are walking and talking and the future seems so exciting.
Now I have 8 hours of a work day, and then it's baby time!
- The dad from the sextuplet show on WE, "Raising Sextuplets," was arrested during an argument that he was having with his wife. The couple has admitted that they have "brutal fights" but will not get divorced due to their religion. Yikes! I can understand not wanting to get a divorce, but having six little guys watch you get arrested seems worse. I feel sorry for them, sometimes I feel completely frazzled and crazy with my two sweethearts, I can't imagine the stress of 6 of them!
- I honestly have no idea why they still have Amber and Gary on Teen Mom. Social services should have already been called and in their business 24/7. If they show their arguing, cursing, and domestic abuse on TV can you imagine what happens when there are no cameras?
- I have a serious issue with people not allowing their children to watch President Obama's speech to children last week. One piece of it is just pettiness but I have to believe that some of it has got to be due to racism. I don't remember this being a problem before with other white people. I am not a republican, nor did I support anything that the previous President did, but there is NO way I wouldn't show his address to kids. That is disrespectful and wrong and sending a sad message to children. Basically, President Obama was telling kids to work hard and stay in school. What is the problem with that? I don't think there is anything wrong with not agreeing with someone and wanting things to change, but I do think that respect for leadership is important.
- My eyebrows are currently so bushy it's scary. I actually forget about them until I look in a mirror and I'm like "ahh, WTF?"
I really don't have much else! Anyone want to add anything? Best baby moments of the week: There are a few. Ever is starting to crawl!! It's so cute, she lifts herself up with her elbows and knees and her little booty is up in the air. Ocean slept all night TWICE! I can't believe that they get cuter and cuter. We took them both swimming and they had fun, I love that they like the water (I love swimming, especially in natural bodies of water, not a huge pool fan). Now that they are so interactive, it is too much fun thinking of all the things we are going to do together. I love it!
I love these photos, both of the babies are like "say what??"
Now that the babies are nearly 5 months old, I though I would share the true story of their birthday with you.
I did not sleep a wink the night before the c-section. I tried as much as I could. I was having contractions for one thing and I was very thirsty for the other (you cannot eat or drink for 24 hours before a scheduled c-section). I drink the mother load of water and I was miserable wanting some. FINALLY it was time to go so I showered and got ready. I really wanted to look nice, but you can't wear contacts or make-up so I thought, what the eff, and didn't bother with my hair either.
We got to the hospital. We saw "Ourlastname Twins" written on the big board. They showed us to our room where I changed and hopped in the bed. My mom and grandparents came as well as hubby's family. We just kind of hung around while waiting for my time to go to the OR. I got my IV, took a drink of something to attempt to keep me from barfing and then walked myself into the OR. Hubby was not allowed to be in for me getting a spinal and being prepped. The spinal did not hurt and the medical team got to work.
My arms started shaking uncontrollably and my teeth were chattering. I occasionally got incredibly nauseous so they pumped something more in my IV. Hubby came in with his scrubs on. He looked so cute and I wish someone had taken his picture. I wasn't really nervous, but the shaking was really bothering me. I just wanted those babies out!! We were over the three year mark of our wait for them and I wanted to see them right away.
The c-section began and music was playing (Lady Gaga and Justin Beiber). The surgeon was talking to my OB and hubby was videotaping. Hubby was so sweet and encouraging, even though I wasn't doing shit but laying there and trying not to barf. I really didn't feel a thing and again, time was ticking by so slowly.
FINALLY I heard lots of sucking and then they pulled out Ocean. He cried. They also said "where were you hiding these big babies in this small tummy?" This is where many moms shed tears of joy. I didn't. I honestly just felt confused. Holy hell, a baby just came out of my gut. They lifted him over and I was so excited he was just adorable! Lots of newborns are kind of weird looking, but my boy was just beautiful (I know this is all in the minds of the mama). I did feel a little pulling for Ever, but she would not come out! It took two minutes to pull her from me, they ended up wrapping a wet towel around her to get her out. She screamed so loud. They lifted her up, a tiny screaming peanut, and she too was just gorgeous. Hubby went over to watch them get checked out and weighed.
They put me back together and wheeled me and the babies out. The nurse said "well, you couldn't have made that look any easier." We got back to my room and they gave me the babies. Still, I was in complete shock. Like a big idiot, I forgot to wear my nursing bra and had to hike my bra up to try nursing. It didn't go well. Ocean was making all these little noises. Their blood was checked and due to my gestational diabetes, their blood sugars were low and they would have to have formula to bring it back up. I didn't have a problem with that. This was the beginning of chaos.
The noises were grunting and that meant he wasn't breathing that well. So they took him away, they said it would be a few hours. I begged hubby to go get my mom. For some reason, I can't really remember specifics for the next few hours. I know they wheeled me to a different room in the bed, but other than that it's all a blur.
I constantly asked if Ocean was going to be brought back soon, and they always said soon but didn't bring him back. I was SO thirsty. I can't describe how badly I wanted to chug water, but all I was allowed were ice chips. I chugged those. I started feeling really ill. I was holding Ever and asked hubby to take her and get me a bucket. I threw up clear water. I threw up again and it looked rusty. I threw up once more, and it was pure blood and lots of it.
We called the nurse. The nurse panicked. This scared the living shit out of all of us because medical professionals usually at least pretend everything is fine no matter what type of bad news they deliver. The nurse above her was called in and said that the surgeon needed to be contacted and labs would be in right away to check my blood counts.
Hubby looked nervous.
My mom looked nervous.
I was terrified. The nurse said she couldn't say why something like this would happen but I could not have any more ice chips. I could also not eat or take any of the oral meds (which I would learn later were WAY more effective than the morphine in my IV).
I really did think that I was going to die. I thought they messed up big time and I had internal bleeding (which is what I think they also thought). I was terrified I would have to go back into surgery. I also thought maybe I had some issue, like cancer. My mom said she had to go to the bathroom, but she took her phone, so I knew she was going to call our family.
I started to refuse pain meds. I also started getting desperate for them to bring Ocean to me. I barely remembered him from being born (I know that's bad to say but I was in such a fog) and I wanted to see my baby boy in case I really did die. I refused the meds so that I would be able to really be present when I saw him next. I really couldn't believe this was happening to me. Then I had to have a very important conversation with hubby:
"Please remember that Ever is a little girl when you are raising her. Dress her in pink, buy her hairbows, and treat her like a girl, not a little boy."
WTF? Not I love you, we've had a great life, tell the babies about me, here are the passwords to all my accounts, but buy her pink stuff? I think I have more issues than I previously thought . . . .
After what seemed like another eternal wait, the nurse came back and said my blood counts did not indicate internal bleeding, but I could not have food or water or pain meds. Feeling your gut after it has been sliced open, burned, and sewn back together is not awesome. The surgeon came back and said I really needed to have more morphine and that if I threw up blood again, they would have to intubate me. No thank you. They felt that I probably had a tear in my esophagus from being extremely dry with my first time throwing up, but couldn't be 100% sure.
Still no Ocean. I was starving my ass off(24 hours without food) and in so much pain and I wanted my boy NOW. Hubby said he would go to progressive care to see if they were bringing him back. When hubby entered the room with his head hanging and a nurse following I knew he wasn't coming back. I cried. I was not allowed up due to all the drama so I just couldn't see him. I hated it so much.
Ever went to the nursery for the first night. I was starving and in pain. Being so hungry was starting to make me feel sick again. A nurse came in and I was bleeding quite a bit, even though I had read I wouldn't bleed as much as a vaginal delivery. It was disgusting.
The next morning I had to stand up. It was horrible. My legs were shaking uncontrollably and I felt like I had no strength at all. They removed my catheter and a few hours later I had to take my first pee. I've never had such excruciating pain in my life. I cried and cried and told hubby I just couldn't do it. The catheter had been in much longer than usual due to the drama the day before. They wanted me to start drinking water but I didn't really want to because of the pain of peeing. I did it though. A lactation consult came in but I couldn't concentrate because of the intense pain. I just laid there and cried. The lactation consultant got the nurse and she said we could try the oral pain meds and a liquid lunch.
They also brought my boy back to me!! I didn't see him for 24 hours and was so happy to see him. He had a goofy personality from the start. I just can't describe what it was like to have my baby back and get to see that he was healthy.
41 hours after my last meal, I finally got lunch! It was beef broth and jello, but it was honestly amazing. I also got my first dose of oral pain meds. I started feeling much better. They told me to try to go for a walk, and I told them to eff off, there was no way I was walking anywhere. If you look up "hot mess" in the dictionary, you would see a picture of me. I was scared to death of the shower but was so glad when I finally took one. I had been sweating through everything so I also got fresh sheets and a clean gown. I felt way better.
The next day we spent together and it was much better. I could eat more and enjoy my babies. I could also enjoy visitors and hubby was excited have some friends come by. After 3 nights I was told I could go home. Ocean got his wee wee circumsized and Ever had to do the carseat test due to her low weight. Everyone was healthy! The nurse took my staples out. Another nurse told me I was welcome to stay another night. No thank you. As soon as the babies and I were cleared, it took me 15 minutes to get babies and myself dressed. Getting the babies home to my house was the best thing.
So there you go. It was nothing like what I expected at all. I know due to Ever's position anything but a c-section was unlikely to happen, but if I ever have any more kids, I will absolutely try to avoid a c-section if I can. I'm not very touchy feely about the birthing process, but it is a little sad to me that I can't remember some things, and obviously, the intense fear that my life was going to end. I can't describe that very well so I won't try. The whole experience was just a shock to me and it's weird to think about now.
Of course, it was well worth it and I would do it again. :)
WARNING - -WARNING - - WARNING -- WARNING
Blood, guts, body fluids, on the screen. This is the main event portion of my c-section so DO NOT WATCH if that stuff freaks you out. In fact, don't even scroll down any further.
Sorry, it's been a busy week and a Ocean has decided he will not be put to sleep without a fight so Wednesday turned to Thursday which turned to Friday . . . .
- This was already discussed, but I'm bored of high order multiple television and I'm ready for it to stop. I CANNOT wait for "Sister Wives" on TLC. I'm hoping it will be as awesome as I am thinking it's going to be in my mind.
- Speaking of, Octomom is now on welfare. People are disgusted and outraged by this. I am outraged that people are outraged because this is for the children!! They should not be penalized for mama's poor choices. This is no different than someone with one child on welfare, if you can't afford one or you can't afford 14 I don't see the difference. Hopefully those babies will get all their needs met.
- The Real Housewives of D.C. has had to be my replacement for the New Jersey ladies. The drama isn't quite as dramalicious, but I really love Kat. People don't like her. She's blunt and I know people don't like that, but she hasn't said anything to anyone that I didn't agree with. I like her! Kat is not a Republican (neither am I) and she is invited to a Republican party of some sort to which she says "let's make it more fun by dressing really inappropriately." She also says "I'm just not going to make myself ill by being polite." Obviously it would be hard to be this rude in real life and really you shouldn't, but haven't we all been in a situation where we wish we could be this blunt? I take it back, I don't like her, I love her!
- Lady Gaga wore meat at the VMA's. WTF? Gross! That can't be sanitary right? Having a raw slab of meat on your head? It was super disgusting. The things that she was saying were rather odd too. I'm not sure about her, but lots of other people seem to love her! I think some of the things she supports are great causes, but who can really take someone seriously who walks around in meat shoes? I know I can't!
- I have a kiddo at work who has a teddy bear named "Sexy." I'm not sure if this is cute or if I should alert the authorities . . .
Best baby moments of the week: These are getting hard to narrow down! They are interacting with each other and occasionally hold hands which I think is SUPER adorable!
WTF Baby:
Do not mess with this girl, she ain't playin'!
Ocean is thinking "why in the hell does my mommy and daddy think getting shoved into a babywearing device is fun for me?" The answer is: I don't really know, maybe because everyone else is doing it?
Last night I watched the episode of a new show called "Quints by Surprise." Although the quints were not a surprise, they came from IUI's. They seem like a very nice couple, but the husband complained and complained about money. It really bothered me.
TLC is also adding another show about a set of sextuplets. We all know about Kate and her eight. The WE channel also has a set of sextuplets. We also all know the disaster that is OctoMom.
Sigh . . . .
From an infertility advocacy standpoint, these shows are BAD news for us. I know many of us dream of having insurance coverage to pay for our treatments so we don't have to take out loans, work three jobs, put second mortgages on our homes and all the other things people have to do to attempt to have a baby. People already don't want to pay for that but when they see shows like this we are totally screwed. One IVF treatment is a teeny tiny drop in the bucket in comparison to the cost putting five or six (or really even three or four) babies through a NICU stay. Granted, most high order multiples come from IUI's, which is much cheaper than an IVF treatment. After all this publicity, WHY haven't there been some better medical guidelines put into place for IUI's? Why are these people still putting this out there when it makes infertile people look desperate and greedy? It's a huge peeve of mine. I'm not saying the people are desperate and greedy, it just appears that way when they willingly do the procedure and then go on television and complain about their money issues.
Having twins truly terrified me. I was scared that the babies would be in the NICU because they were multiples. The reason it was so hard for me to think of is because it would have been my fault completely (in my mind). Ocean and Ever were born at term and did not require a NICU stay, but it was just sheer luck that it happened like that. The guilt would have completely overwhelmed me. I felt the desperation myself. My RE said that these were excellent embryos and I really needed to think about it. My other RE said I also had a 75% chance of success with my three IUI's but he was wrong. I just didn't believe it, so I completely understand that none of these couples truly thought this would happen to them although they were willing participants. Unfortunately, the public just doesn't see it that way and the general public is a big reason why we don't have that coverage. Obviously another reason is because the insurance companies have no problem bringing this up and how costly it is or could be to other insured individuals.
I would love for us to have infertility coverage. Now that I know how beautiful parenthood is, I wish everyone that wants it can have it. I hate reading on my infertility message boards that people have been tapped out and can no longer try to be parents or afford to adopt (which is super expensive as well). It breaks my heart for them and it wouldn't be so hard if we had coverage for this. It also wouldn't be as big of a decision to not go through with dangerous treatments like unmonitored cycles, IUI's when many follicles are present, or even deciding to transfer just one instead of two embryos. Shows like the TLC shows are what many fertile or child-free people think about when they think of fertility treatments and it is definitely prohibitive when it comes to creating an understanding of what infertile people go through and why they do it.
If you are a long time reader, you know that I LOVE reality TV and it provides me with tons of entertainment. When I think about the message these shows are sending, it makes me kind of sad and they are far less entertaining.
My little peanut was very calm in the tummy. I watched in horror as she just floated around as her brother kicked her repeatedly in the sac.
She is a small peanut, but perfectly healthy! She eats like a champion. She prefers fast flow nipples to the slower ones and will eat any kind of formula you give her. She will eat the veggies, but prefers the cereal. She is a carb-aholic like mommy.
She is laid back and observant. She has been carefully watching our dog Rocky and smiling at him when he gets close to her. She also likes to be outside and watches the cars pass by (yes, I mean really watching). When I was alone with the monkeys and Ocean would cry to held all the time, she would lay against my pillow in my bed and just watch. I love how her features are tiny like her, especially her precious mouth. She has very long fingers, many people have said she will be a piano player someday.
She can roll over and over and prefers sleeping on her tummy.She is an awesome sleeper and has been sleeping all night. She is also a very peaceful sleeper. Since she is a big time Daddy's girl, she rolls over close to him if I put her in our bed, although she prefers her space in her own crib. Once she rolls over to Daddy, if he isn't awake, she hits him repeatedly with her little hand.
I think she might be a little ornery and has recently boycotted the carseat. She has crazy arms and flails them all over the place. She will gladly whack you on the arm or the face if you try to change her diaper in the night. Both babies were laying on the floor and Ocean had a toy she just had. She took it right out of his hands and put it in her mouth. She likes to play with toys. When you have a little animal, especially her puppy, she opens up her mouth wide for a kiss when you put them to her face.
She has the cutest little crooked smile. I love when you talk to her and she says "ooo ooo" in response. She sometimes gets called "sober judge" or "Mrs Serious Pants" because she has the most serious looks on her face that crack me up. Sometimes she looks at Ocean when he is making noise with the funniest little expression.
In the womb, he was my wild child. Kicking, flailing, and flipping.
He is my little smile boy! He was even a smiling fetus.
This boy is maintenance. He LOVES attention and loves to be held. He still sleeps in Mommy's bed most of the time because he gets upset being alone in his crib. He will be crying and crying and as soon as he hits my bed, BOOM, he's done crying.
If he is hungry, you MUST feed him immediately. Even though I was sleep deprived to no end, I would crack up laughing when I would pick him up to feed him and he would curl up in a ball and chew on his hand making "num num" noises like a little animal. He did not like breast milk or formula, but loves soy milk. He is okay with rice cereal, but would prefer sweet potatoes or human flesh.
It is no work to get a big smile out of him. There have been many times that milk has gone slobbering all down his chin because he can't get through eating without smiling. Being high maintenance works for him because all he has to do is smile and he gets his way (well, at least with me).
He is Mr. Chatterbox. You can talk to him and he will talk and talk back. Or just smile. Last week he was in my bed flailing around and I picked him and and said "are you my little weirdo boy?" He made a grunting noise in response, so I got my answer! I've never seen a little baby sleep like him. He makes lots of noises. He smiles in his sleep. He sticks his lower lip out in his sleep like he is going to cry.
He is very tall and strong. He was mad because I was trying to put him to sleep and kicking himself up on me with his strong legs.
Even though he is high maintenance, he's also very sweet. He loves to smile at anyone and he loves cuddles. When is Ever is wailing, he will not cry. I was sitting in the back seat with him and Ever was screaming like a banshee and he just kept looking at me with his lower lip sticking out. It was so adorable!
I love when I am feeding him his night time bottle and I whisper in his little ear and he will turn his head closer to mine for close snuggles.
- On Bachelor Pad, they reduced it down to couples, which was a big shock. So the guys got to pick who they wanted to be in a couple with. Elisabeth is a few french fries short of a happy meal and continues to play mind games with her man. She basically has been black mailing him since the first show to be her boyfriend to stay in the game. Sounds like a marriage made in heaven right?
- I have been religiously playing the lottery and I still haven't won yet, wtf? What's worse is that I think I will actually win. Embarassing . . . .
- I am SOOO mad that I was watching Bachelor Pad because Real Housewives of New Jersey comes on at 9:00 here. Well it came on an hour early and I MISSED it!! I saw the end with a very awkward hug between cuckoo and Jaclyn. I also heard she will not be coming back. I have to say I am a little bummed because you have to admit that level of crazy is entertaining. And this can't be real right? These people don't really act like this, right?? I hope?
- Has anyone noticed the second season skinnies? You know, the reality people or TV stars that shed major pounds by the second season. I'll name a few - Caroline Manzo from Real Housewives of NJ, Ashley, the obnoxious daughter on the same show, Lea Michelle from Glee, Amber on Teen Mom, the entire cast of "Secret Life of the American Teenager" and there are many others. Maybe it's a good diet to see yourself on TV. I need some dieting help (hi, my name is Ashley and I'm a sugar addict) so maybe I'll have hubby video tape me for awhile tonight and then I'll watch it everytime I want to eat a roll of oreos dunked in peanut butter (yes, I really do that).
- People ask me frequently how to spell my kids names; Ocean and Ever. These are basic words of the English language and I find it embarassing that people have to ask. I even think "ever" is a sight word that you learn in Kindergarten. I know about half ask because they are not believing what they are hearing. The other half are asking because people spell very common names weird to make them original. This annoys me. I'll give you some examples: Jaczin (Jackson), Tylier (Tyler), Rion (Ryan), etc. Spelling your kids name different still gives them a popular name. I have had experiences where people are unhappy that their child's name gets spelled wrong, to which I want to reply, get used to it. By all means, this is America, spell your kid's name however you want to. Just because I like weird names doesn't mean I can't spell.
- This Saturday is September 11th, a day most of us will never forget. Well, some churches also want to make it "National Burn a Koran" day. What in the hell is wrong with people? That's just nasty and hateful and entirely unnecessary and will obviously provoke people to do things they don't need to be doing. Sigh . . . . Canada, here I come!
Best baby moments: They are like real little people now! They interact and smile and chit chat. They love to eat and are eating carrots, sweet potatoes and are about to try sweet peas. Ever is sleeping like a champion and Ocean is doing much better and sleeping in his own bed a majority of the night. I just worship the ground they walk on (lay on, I should say). They amaze me everyday!
Last week in my working community there was a sad, sad tragedy where a young child lost their life. I don't want to post details as I don't want anyone to really know where I work and it was played out in the local media quite a bit.
It just really stuck with me this weekend. Last week after it happened I just felt devastated. When you have kids, these things become so much more difficult and hard to be around than they were before. I came home and got on the floor with my babies to play with them. I just wanted to be with them so badly. Once bedtime rolled around Ocean began crying. Normally hubby protests me putting him in our bed but that night be didn't give me any grief.
Everytime Ocean moved or made sweet baby noises or let out a little cry (he is a very restless sleeper)I cried too. I was just so thankful to hear those little noises, but sad to my core that another mommy was going to bed that night never to hear those sweet sounds again. It is so heartbreaking. Every single day I love my babies more and to think of spending years with my babies and then one day they are gone out of the blue is more than I can handle sometimes.
I spent lots of snuggle time with the monkey's this weekend. I just wanted to take a moment to remind you to give the people you love all the affection you can every chance you get because you just never know when it might be your last chance.
- Abby asked if I watch Bachelor Pad. OF COURSE I watch Bachelor Pad!! This kind of reality TV trash is my favorite. If you don't watch it, it is a bunch of single people who are trying to date. They do competitions to win dates and people with roses are safe. Then they vote "Survivor" style. This is all for money, and of course, for a chance at love, ahem. This show makes me mad because, in my opinion, it is showing how dumb women can be when men are around. The men are doing the smart thing, which is trying to win the money. The women are falling in love with the men. One group of girls could have dominated the house but each one of them slowly screws up the plan by believing things men say. It makes me so mad!!
- In relation to the Bachelor, Melissa Rycroft is pregnant. They weren't even trying she says (good for you). I have never been able to stand Melissa. When she was on Jason's season and people told me that they loved Melissa I thought they must have some type of mental issue. Melissa was only on the show because it was on TV, she did not really care to be with Jason. When Melissa got dumped and everyone was outraged (which I thought was hilarious by the way), I could NOT understand how people didn't get she only wanted to be on TV!! Lo and behold, she is on TV a lot now and got engaged to some other guy a few months after the show wrapped. And people are still on Team Melissa? I am not surprised that she is pregnant and announced it to a magazine nice and early because we all know that getting pregnant is great press these days. Do you still buy what she is selling?? She is a fame whore! If you buy this still, please come to my house, I have some things for sale.
- REAL HOUSEWIVES OF NEW JERSEY REUNION. If you don't watch the show but have cable, find it and watch it. It is WTF-tastic!! Theresa threw the host into his chair like he was a rag doll. Danielle gets caught in a lie so many times. She also has two sex tapes currently out. WTF? WHY WOULD ANYONE IN THEIR RIGHT MIND MAKE A SEX TAPE THESE DAYS?? YouTube, blogs, even email and you could send a sex tape to a million people in a second. They also called Danielle out on why she doesn't use the plural form of the word "woman." Jaclyn really makes a fool of herself by acting immature. And as always, I truly love Caroline. There is a part two. WATCH IT!!
- Teen Mom is kind of starting to depress me instead of entertain me. I feel so bad for the way Caitlyn's mom treats her, she has an awful family life. I do have the mouth of a sailor, but that little boy in their house hears way too many potty words. My least favorite on the show is Amber. She is trying to get her GED but can't do it and work at the same time. What?? How do they pay their bills? I need to know the secret to being able to get my bills paid while hubby and I sit at home and fight with each other all day. She has the time to go on a diet that has made her a size 1 and we all know that's not easy (I could use some tips in fact). It's bizarre.
- Paris Hilton got arrested for cocaine possesion. She claimed the purse wasn't hers and also that she thought it was gum. Uh . . . . while I am no expert on what cocaine looks like I have a good feeling it doesn't look like a piece of Orbit.
- Briston Palin is on Dancing with the Stars. Enough said.
- I shamefully admit to have read all the Twilight books. In a matter of days. I was obsessed! If you are a fan, you will remember the birth scene of Bella's baby. It is INCREDIBLY disgusting. Absolutely sick. The director's have reported that they will not be toning it down for the movie. I think it's safe to say that kids should no longer be going to see these movies! Basically, the baby is trying to rip it's way out of her and Edward tears her open to save her life and she is then turned into a vampire. Eew!! Who thinks of something like that? I never saw the third ones. The books are awesome, the movies suck.
Am I missing anything?
Best baby moments: Our first zoo trip was last weekend! They also ate their first food, sweet potatoes.
They are both giving me a WTF look here. Poor babies can't even get through a feeding without being interrupted by Mommy's camera.
Here we are, a family of vampires. Can you see our pasty whiteness glistening in the sun?
**If you are a Resolve friend, you know today was a pretty sad and scary day. If you are not, all my family is fine and healthy. It was just an unbelievable day really. I must say I am thankful I got to take a moment to enjoy some senseless humor after everything that happened. I can't discuss it here, but just wanted to say an extra thank you for being a part of my story and thank you to all the bloggy friends that I read and keep me entertained!! It seems silly, but I truly enjoying getting to "know" everyone and on sucky days like this I am thankful for a place to escape in.**
I know it's WTF Wednesday, but we are going to have WTF Friday this week because today is a VERY important day in history!!
On September 1st, 2009 . . . .
after 9 months of trying to make babies without a doc . . .
8 rounds of Clomid . . . .
3 IUI's with injectibles . . .
68 sessions of acupuncture . . . .
4 months of FertilAid . . . .
Lots of tears and 17 sessions of therapy with a licensed professional . . .
and ONE IVF . . . .
I received this email from my RE's office . . . . .
CONGRATULATIONS!!! You are PREGNANT!!! (I am pretending to hear you scream right now :-)
Your level was 168 (VERY GOOD). Your progesterone was 20 (ALSO GOOD).
So...just continue your medications and come back in for a repeat lab on Thursday!!
Yea :-)
I did cheat and pee on a stick the night before, but hearing the beta was the icing on the cake!
I woke up in a happy mood and the babies have only been getting up once a night each so I was just a happy lady this morning. My boy was sleeping in my bed and he gave me big smiles when he woke up. My girl woke up an hour later and I went downstairs to see her and we played and she smiled and cooed for me.
September 1st will be a special day every year. I told hubby he better have cupcakes in hand when he comes home tonight!!
