Now that the babies are nearly 5 months old, I though I would share the true story of their birthday with you.
I did not sleep a wink the night before the c-section. I tried as much as I could. I was having contractions for one thing and I was very thirsty for the other (you cannot eat or drink for 24 hours before a scheduled c-section). I drink the mother load of water and I was miserable wanting some. FINALLY it was time to go so I showered and got ready. I really wanted to look nice, but you can't wear contacts or make-up so I thought, what the eff, and didn't bother with my hair either.
We got to the hospital. We saw "Ourlastname Twins" written on the big board. They showed us to our room where I changed and hopped in the bed. My mom and grandparents came as well as hubby's family. We just kind of hung around while waiting for my time to go to the OR. I got my IV, took a drink of something to attempt to keep me from barfing and then walked myself into the OR. Hubby was not allowed to be in for me getting a spinal and being prepped. The spinal did not hurt and the medical team got to work.
My arms started shaking uncontrollably and my teeth were chattering. I occasionally got incredibly nauseous so they pumped something more in my IV. Hubby came in with his scrubs on. He looked so cute and I wish someone had taken his picture. I wasn't really nervous, but the shaking was really bothering me. I just wanted those babies out!! We were over the three year mark of our wait for them and I wanted to see them right away.
The c-section began and music was playing (Lady Gaga and Justin Beiber). The surgeon was talking to my OB and hubby was videotaping. Hubby was so sweet and encouraging, even though I wasn't doing shit but laying there and trying not to barf. I really didn't feel a thing and again, time was ticking by so slowly.
FINALLY I heard lots of sucking and then they pulled out Ocean. He cried. They also said "where were you hiding these big babies in this small tummy?" This is where many moms shed tears of joy. I didn't. I honestly just felt confused. Holy hell, a baby just came out of my gut. They lifted him over and I was so excited he was just adorable! Lots of newborns are kind of weird looking, but my boy was just beautiful (I know this is all in the minds of the mama). I did feel a little pulling for Ever, but she would not come out! It took two minutes to pull her from me, they ended up wrapping a wet towel around her to get her out. She screamed so loud. They lifted her up, a tiny screaming peanut, and she too was just gorgeous. Hubby went over to watch them get checked out and weighed.
They put me back together and wheeled me and the babies out. The nurse said "well, you couldn't have made that look any easier." We got back to my room and they gave me the babies. Still, I was in complete shock. Like a big idiot, I forgot to wear my nursing bra and had to hike my bra up to try nursing. It didn't go well. Ocean was making all these little noises. Their blood was checked and due to my gestational diabetes, their blood sugars were low and they would have to have formula to bring it back up. I didn't have a problem with that. This was the beginning of chaos.
The noises were grunting and that meant he wasn't breathing that well. So they took him away, they said it would be a few hours. I begged hubby to go get my mom. For some reason, I can't really remember specifics for the next few hours. I know they wheeled me to a different room in the bed, but other than that it's all a blur.
I constantly asked if Ocean was going to be brought back soon, and they always said soon but didn't bring him back. I was SO thirsty. I can't describe how badly I wanted to chug water, but all I was allowed were ice chips. I chugged those. I started feeling really ill. I was holding Ever and asked hubby to take her and get me a bucket. I threw up clear water. I threw up again and it looked rusty. I threw up once more, and it was pure blood and lots of it.
We called the nurse. The nurse panicked. This scared the living shit out of all of us because medical professionals usually at least pretend everything is fine no matter what type of bad news they deliver. The nurse above her was called in and said that the surgeon needed to be contacted and labs would be in right away to check my blood counts.
Hubby looked nervous.
My mom looked nervous.
I was terrified. The nurse said she couldn't say why something like this would happen but I could not have any more ice chips. I could also not eat or take any of the oral meds (which I would learn later were WAY more effective than the morphine in my IV).
I really did think that I was going to die. I thought they messed up big time and I had internal bleeding (which is what I think they also thought). I was terrified I would have to go back into surgery. I also thought maybe I had some issue, like cancer. My mom said she had to go to the bathroom, but she took her phone, so I knew she was going to call our family.
I started to refuse pain meds. I also started getting desperate for them to bring Ocean to me. I barely remembered him from being born (I know that's bad to say but I was in such a fog) and I wanted to see my baby boy in case I really did die. I refused the meds so that I would be able to really be present when I saw him next. I really couldn't believe this was happening to me. Then I had to have a very important conversation with hubby:
"Please remember that Ever is a little girl when you are raising her. Dress her in pink, buy her hairbows, and treat her like a girl, not a little boy."
WTF? Not I love you, we've had a great life, tell the babies about me, here are the passwords to all my accounts, but buy her pink stuff? I think I have more issues than I previously thought . . . .
After what seemed like another eternal wait, the nurse came back and said my blood counts did not indicate internal bleeding, but I could not have food or water or pain meds. Feeling your gut after it has been sliced open, burned, and sewn back together is not awesome. The surgeon came back and said I really needed to have more morphine and that if I threw up blood again, they would have to intubate me. No thank you. They felt that I probably had a tear in my esophagus from being extremely dry with my first time throwing up, but couldn't be 100% sure.
Still no Ocean. I was starving my ass off(24 hours without food) and in so much pain and I wanted my boy NOW. Hubby said he would go to progressive care to see if they were bringing him back. When hubby entered the room with his head hanging and a nurse following I knew he wasn't coming back. I cried. I was not allowed up due to all the drama so I just couldn't see him. I hated it so much.
Ever went to the nursery for the first night. I was starving and in pain. Being so hungry was starting to make me feel sick again. A nurse came in and I was bleeding quite a bit, even though I had read I wouldn't bleed as much as a vaginal delivery. It was disgusting.
The next morning I had to stand up. It was horrible. My legs were shaking uncontrollably and I felt like I had no strength at all. They removed my catheter and a few hours later I had to take my first pee. I've never had such excruciating pain in my life. I cried and cried and told hubby I just couldn't do it. The catheter had been in much longer than usual due to the drama the day before. They wanted me to start drinking water but I didn't really want to because of the pain of peeing. I did it though. A lactation consult came in but I couldn't concentrate because of the intense pain. I just laid there and cried. The lactation consultant got the nurse and she said we could try the oral pain meds and a liquid lunch.
They also brought my boy back to me!! I didn't see him for 24 hours and was so happy to see him. He had a goofy personality from the start. I just can't describe what it was like to have my baby back and get to see that he was healthy.
41 hours after my last meal, I finally got lunch! It was beef broth and jello, but it was honestly amazing. I also got my first dose of oral pain meds. I started feeling much better. They told me to try to go for a walk, and I told them to eff off, there was no way I was walking anywhere. If you look up "hot mess" in the dictionary, you would see a picture of me. I was scared to death of the shower but was so glad when I finally took one. I had been sweating through everything so I also got fresh sheets and a clean gown. I felt way better.
The next day we spent together and it was much better. I could eat more and enjoy my babies. I could also enjoy visitors and hubby was excited have some friends come by. After 3 nights I was told I could go home. Ocean got his wee wee circumsized and Ever had to do the carseat test due to her low weight. Everyone was healthy! The nurse took my staples out. Another nurse told me I was welcome to stay another night. No thank you. As soon as the babies and I were cleared, it took me 15 minutes to get babies and myself dressed. Getting the babies home to my house was the best thing.
So there you go. It was nothing like what I expected at all. I know due to Ever's position anything but a c-section was unlikely to happen, but if I ever have any more kids, I will absolutely try to avoid a c-section if I can. I'm not very touchy feely about the birthing process, but it is a little sad to me that I can't remember some things, and obviously, the intense fear that my life was going to end. I can't describe that very well so I won't try. The whole experience was just a shock to me and it's weird to think about now.
Of course, it was well worth it and I would do it again. :)
WARNING - -WARNING - - WARNING -- WARNING
Blood, guts, body fluids, on the screen. This is the main event portion of my c-section so DO NOT WATCH if that stuff freaks you out. In fact, don't even scroll down any further.