If you are a long time reader of this blog, you know that I didn't really care for trying to breastfeed and wasn't planning on doing it. Well, after my c-section, I suddenly felt the panic and wanted to at least try it.
I attempted to breastfeed as soon as the babies and I were back in our room. Neither one of them latched or got anything, which isn't abnormal for the first try, but due to my gestational diabetes the kiddos had low blood sugar. I was really bummed about it because I had been diligent with my diet and meds, but it didn't seem to help. Then they suddenly took Ocean away because they said he needed help breathing. It was crazy! Due to the low blood sugar, the babies could not have just breast milk, they had to have formula so that their sugars could get regulated. So they both got really used to the nipple and trying to breastfeed was just a nightmare for me. They cried and cried and I was so tired I just wanted them to eat, so pumping commenced.
I know people think breastfeeding takes dedication, and it does, but pumping REALLY takes dedication. Not only are you breastfeeding, but you're doing it without that bond that you get by having the baby actually on the breast. I can't explain how it happened, but I just wanted them to have the breast milk.
Attempting to pump enough for two babies was way stressful. My body felt like I had the flu, I was in pain and exhausted. Because of spending that time pumping, I hardly had time to care for myself. I told my OB how crappy I felt and it turns out my liver wasn't functioning properly. Ocean was very fussy so at 6 weeks I put him on soy formula and I felt SO bad. Ocean didn't suffer too much though because he did much better not on the breast milk.
At 8 weeks I finished Ever with the breast milk and now they are both on soy formula. We are able to go more places and I feel 100% better. Even when I started weaning I felt better that I did breastfeeding.
Basically, for me, breastfeeding sucked big ones. People constantly ask me if I breastfeed and I think it is so rude because then they lay the guilt trip on you and say "well, at least they got nutrition for the first 6/8 weeks." There is PLENTY of nutrition in formula. As you have seen by the many photos I post on here, my babies are healthy and beautiful in everyway. I wanted to share this with you in case you experience the same thing do NOT feel bad and don't let people make you think your babies will be any less healthy without it. This isn't a popular thing to say, but people are delusional to think that breast milk alone is going to make your baby super healthy. I was breastfed and I had asthma, allergies and recurring ear infections. My three siblings were not breastfed and had none of those problems so if you are going to have health issues, you are going to.
I will include the good points I had with breastfeeding though too. Weight loss, major weight loss. Who can complain about that? I did try it so I will never look back and wonder if I should have so it was worth it in that respect. I know that it's healhty and pure and what a mom's body is intended to do, so I'm glad they had that part of me but I don't consider my children any better than anyone's child who did not have breast milk. Also, it's free! Formula is way expensive.
Moral of the story: do whatever you want to! Breastfeed if you want to, bottle feed if you want to. As long as your baby is healthy that's all that matters so don't be guilted into anything either way. If you want to breastfeed until your kid is 3, do it! And a lesson to everyone: mind your own breasts, asking strangers about their feeding choices is rude, and kind of weird, especially with the intent to make them feel guilty, so get over yourself. In my case, my experience as a new mommy was much better when I stopped doing it, just as in other cases, it's a very special time for a new mommy. Everyone is different.