Fail #1: I don't do many playdates, mostly because I have a job (oops, I mean I "work outside the home"). I have one friend that comes over to hang out, but that is low maintenance because we are very similar and she doesn't care that my house is messy and we laugh when our kids wrestle for toys, not freak out. Well . . due to kid free week my house was semi-clean and I had the day off Friday so I had a playdate at my house. Since I am a moron, I thought to myself, I have some extra time this morning, I will go ahead and shave my pubes with hubby's face razor again since he isn't around to freak out about it. Those damn things get everywhere! I cleaned them up, but after the playdate left I notices the hairy pube ring around the top of the toilet. Crap! I bet that will be my last playdate with them!
Fail #2: Speaking of things I do almost never, I went out for a friend's birthday. I am rather an anti-social hermit so I really didn't want to but this friend is very supportive of me and my psychotic infertility issues (not many people are up to par in that arena) so I decided I would for sure go and just have a glass of wine. I am a lightweight as well and had four glasses of wine, which made me shitfaced. The current doctor I'm seeing since my regular OB is on maternity leave and the RE rapes my savings account thinks it would be a good idea to chart my temps to see if I ovulate on my own. I decided I would start Saturday. I did not start Saturday because I was up chugging water all night due to the room spinning and I figured that would not be conducive to an accurate temp. I also slept late because Peanut came in the room and was jumping on my and saying "boo" in my ear and I thought I was going to ralph. Nice. Fail.
Fail #3: This is only a partial fail, but I was out running and I wore my spandex running pants and was very self-consious because I have put on a ton of weight this year. A really unattractive, toothless hillbilly leaned out of his window to take a gander. Back in the day this used to happen to me and I would think "oh sick, what a loser," but not yesterday! Oh no! I thought "hell yeah, I've still got it bitches!" But then I was super ashamed that I got that excited over hillbilly sexual harassment. At least the running part was a win.
This is what happens when you suggest to Peanut that it might be time to lose the bottle, no joke . . . . .
It ain't happenin.'