I was not surprised that they did find endometriosis in my lady bits. I don't know the details, because as I said, I was on another planet that I now can't remember. So the situation is as follows:
1. PCOS - known about that for years, actually since 9 months after we started TTC at the end of 2007
2. Lefty the Loser Ovary - I had suspicions during treatments, but not confirmed until recently
3. Endometriosis - Thought about it, but never had any overwhelming symptoms, so this is a new one
Sounds like a winning combination, no?
Despite the odds slowly racking up against me, something weird happened this week out of nowhere. I just feel calm now. I don't feel as angry or sad or anything really. I was looking at pictures of Ocean and Ever when they were fresh little newborns last Tuesday. I thought it would make me sad and crave the chance to do it again. It is no secret that I have always wanted a large family. It is no secret that Hubby would love to have at least one more kiddo.
But when I was looking at the pictures of my nuggets, looking like scrawny little chickens that popped out of an egg with bug eyes, it just made me smile. Then I turned and saw them, now almost two (gasp!) as Ocean was pretending to shoot Afrin up his nose while Ever told him "no, no, no Ocean" and he was grinning from ear to ear, and I realized that I have it pretty good. Pretty awesome, really. I know lots of women crave newborns, but I love watching these two grow. And it is going by at the speed of light. Each day with them is so new and so out of the ordinary, even if we are doing nothing.
Of course more kiddos would be adding to the joy, but it is something that I really want, not something that I really need. I certainly don't want it to impair my ability to soak up the joy I get to feel right now with them.
On the other hand, tonight Ocean found a thermometer on the floor and said "what's this?" My very classy husband told him it's something that we stick up Mommy's butt. I told him no and then lectured hubby. I saw Ocean eyeing me but Ever and I were playing an Elmo game on the iPad so I wasn't getting up. I did later and didn't even think about the thermometer. As I was walking to the kitchen I felt the pitter patter of feet chasing after me and that boy was trying to stick the thermometer on my butt! I started laughing and said no, and then took off running. He chased me! He did not forget for one second what Hubby told him that was for and he was not giving up. Jeebus. I might need a third kid so I can get a re-do in the parenting department.
This is Ever working hard in Grampa's office. She colored all over his PO's very seriously and eyed everyone who came through the door. If you tell her "make money" then she reaches over and hits the plus sign on the calculator!