Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Happiness is Overrated

. . . . says Brad Pitt.

"I think happiness is overrated, truthfully. I do,” says the Moneyball star, who has kids Maddox, Pax, Zahara, Shiloh, Knox and Vivienne with his partner Angelina Jolie. “I think sometimes you’re happy, sometimes you’re not. There’s too much pressure to be happy. I don’t know. I don’t really give a s–t. I know I will be at times and I know I won’t be at times. Satisfied, at peace, those would be more goals for myself.”

Some people think this is negative or a sign that he hates his life, but I happen to agree with him completely.

People are 100% obsessed with feeling happiness all the time or finding the joy in sucky situations. But sometimes life sucks. I think it's important to be thankful for what you have and grateful for your blessings, but happy all the time? No. That seems like some hedonistic goal of a toddler. When you are a grown up you should know that you are not going to be happy all the time. I think you should enjoy your happiness, but feel your pain too. That's being human.

Hubby and I were having a conversation about comparing. I feel like we are so trained to believe we should be happy all the time that we feel guilt when we don't and start comparing. This happens to me in terms of fertility. When I am feeling bummed about the disappointment, money issues, sadness that comes with fertility even after a successful fertility treatment which resulted in the two most attractive human beings on the planet (ha), I feel like I need to stop myself not because I really want to, but because someone else didn't have successful treatments, had to do more IVF's than me, lost a child etc. Hubby said to me "and some people get pregnant with no help, for free, so who cares what other people are doing? Worry about yourself." My therapist also pointed this out to me several years ago. Think about how you feel and live your own feelings.

The other issue with the pursuit of constant happiness is that happiness would not really be that interesting if that's all you felt. It wouldn't be a good feeling, it would just be. Without feeling sad, pissed, discontented, feeling happy wouldn't be that exciting. It's okay to feel a full range of emotions. It's okay to feel like life sucks when you're sad. It makes sense. Forcing happiness on yourself and others is not healthy. I don't think it's very productive to feel guilt for feeling sad just because other people believe one should always be happy.

I am so glad that Brad Pitt said it. I know some people are bashing him for it, but I think he is a rock star for admitting it.

What do you think?

We haven't had a family picture taken in a YEAR, so I choose the windiest day ever and we took family pictures. Woo hoo.





  1. I totally agree. If we didn't feel shitty, we wouldn't appreciate being happy. :) GREAT family photos!

  2. Stunningly beautiful pictures, first of all!

    Second, my hubby and I were discussing this a while ago too. We think it's unrealistic to be HAPPY all the time. Sure we want to be content, but it's pretty petty and immature to think you have to be (or want to be) HAPPY all the time. Totally agree with you. And Mr. Pitt.

  3. I love your pictures!!! Especially the last one.

  4. I'd have to say I agree with you. To expect to be happy ALL the time IS alot of pressure. Beautiful family pictures!

  5. you did make the two most beautiful humans!

    I agree with you on this post, although sadness so very much sucks.

  6. I agree. A few years ago when we were going through a rough patch job/financial/future-wise my mom said "don't you just wish you could fast forward through the bad times?". And I said no, because I wouldn't appreciate the good times without the bad times. And now we are in a sucky period again. I am sad I lost my job, sad we have to move and sell our house, scared of what's next. But I know things will be good again soon because we are awesome and always overcome this shit. So not only are the good times better because we appreciate them, but the bad times are tolerable because we realize it won't last forever. But that doesn't mean I don't allow myself to wallow in self pity sometimes. :)

  7. Beautiful.. I really love those pictures.. Thank you for sharing!

  8. That's one hell of an attractive family!

    I think what Brad said is awesome!!! Peace. Now there's a concept. You can be at peace with something - good or bad. Great post!

  9. I am no fan of Brad Pitt but I certainly think that he is right in this situation. I have experienced this recently when going through a negative cycle. I needed to grieve and wail for a bit but most people continued to try to look on the positive side and 'get happy' again. I used to think that I had to be happy all the time but discovered that most of the sadness and grief that I had ignored was there waiting to be felt when I let my guard down.

    Great post and fabulous family pics!!

  10. Your family pictures are beautiful!


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