Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Nanny or Daycare?

My decision making skills suck big balls.

Ocean is still sick. He has not been to daycare since last Wednesday. We went to the doctor again today and he still has pneumonia in both of his lungs.

I was thinking (in reality I was crying and freaking out) that I can't deal with this. I knew that they would get sick going to daycare, but for the love of Pete, Ocean has PNEUMONIA and this is his 4th round of antibiotics. I have asked everyone under the sun for their opinion and it is a 50/50 split. The pediatrician today said that if we keep him in he will eventually have a really great immune system and if we wait until he is three to put the monkey's back into a daycare setting they will get sick then too. The only difference is that when he is three is the tubes in his face (don't know the technical terms for them) will be larger so he may not have as many issues with everything pooling together and getting infections. This is my boo bear last night.


This morning he had as much snot coming out of his eyes as his nose! It was horrifying! The pedi said it's because there is no more room for him to drain into his nose and chest so it's coming out of his eyes. Science fiction style.

Something else happened the other night. I went to pick the babies up from daycare last week and Ocean was sitting on the floor and his arms were up because he wanted to be held. He was crying and crying. In my rational mind I know he is not the only kid and there is no way one person can hold all the kids when they need it or if they are doing something. Even I can't do that. But in my mommy mind, I was pissed. I don't want my sweet guy crying for attention like that, it broke my heart. Then he got pneumonia. Then he stayed with my grandma and despite being sick he has been so much less whiney because he is getting the attention that he needs this week.

So I thought of a new genius plan: A NANNY.

I have searched around the area and asked people and what we would pay a nanny would be very slightly less than what we pay the daycare. We would then need to buy food so that will be extra and I would also have to keep the house clean so that the nanny doesn't call social services on me but it would be worth it I think. We can put off the death of horror daycare sickness for a few more years and my babies could get attention. They could go do fun things with the nanny. They could meet daddy for lunch once a week (on that thought I better get an ugly nanny) and they could visit me at work. I would not have to get them ready in the morning and shove them in the car. This is beneficial to me AND the babies.

What do you think? Should I deal with daycare or go for the nanny?


Here is Ever with the dang panties again. Should I be worried? I'm not.


We are currently obsessed with Yo Gabba Gabba! Even I am obsessed. It's a really good show. I just feel like a dork walking around singing "i like grapes, i. like. grapes" all day. Embarassing.


  1. If the costs are comparable, I would go with a nanny in a heartbeat. A 2:1 ratio is much better than a 3-4:1 ratio.

  2. I'd go with a nanny for sure if the money situation is going to be okay.

    Im not sure if they have smaller home day care centres in the US but could be another option?

    A much smaller centre with kids of varying ages in one room so there are some with lower and higher immune systems??

    With getting a nanny I would actually worry about my kids getting attached to another person. But I'm neurotic and insecure like that.

  3. Everyone here does nannies and I think it is such a good option for you obviousely day care isnt woking for you dont listen to the pp you will alway be your babies favorite. babies need stability and having a nanny they where attached to and loved would be a great thing! like loving an aunt or a grandparent thats not something you would worry about! If you can afford it might even be cheaper than a day care it is here! I think a nanny would be amazing in your situation plus there is a big diffrence between a 1 year old getting sick and a 3 year old getting sick I would be upset to!

  4. I agree if the costs were comparable I would also go with a nanny in a heartbeat. Wyatt was sick alot when we first started daycare and he eventually built up an immune system and could handle it. We do not have nanny's around here or I would have looked into that route also.

  5. We have a nanny for our two children and absolutely LOVE her and the situation! She's been with us for over a year and it has been amazing. No more getting the little ones up early, they have all the comforts of their own home, someone to give them full attention and love, and the ability to do all of the activities they love. Our children love Miss K and she loves them, but they still love Mommy and Daddy best. Miss K feels like a member of our family and we don't know what we would do without her. If you can afford a nanny, do it!!! Best decision we ever made.

  6. Nanny! I was a nanny throughout college and had such an incredible bond with the children I watched. However - their mom and dad were always #1 in their lives and I made sure to reinforce that!

    We are in the same boat right now - not loving daycare, and trying to decide whether to find a different place or go with the nanny. However - my hubby (police officer) sometimes works night rotations and having the baby + nanny in the house while he is sleeping doesn't sound fair to anyone involved. Otherwise? We would already have a nanny. Or a manny! :-) If you do decide to go with the nanny - find one that will be willing to take the kiddos to a variety of places/play groups during the day. That way they still get all of the social interaction that daycare provided without the yucks.

  7. Hi, I think this is my second time on your blog (first time may have been a few years ago in the throes of IF drama). I've gone through the same process and settled on a daycare which I love. Recently, both my girls had infections with discharge coming out of their eyes as well. I'm seriously reconsidering but don't want to leave them home alone with a stranger before they're 12-18m months. Decisions!

  8. I say nanny it, and if you live in a city that has craigslist or colleges, you'll be in luck. Graduate students are poor and have pretty flexible schedules. You could hire 2 and alternate so that their school schedules align with the days you need them.

    I did this throughout undergrad and grad school, and I loved each and every little cutie I got to babysit

  9. I say go for the nanny. They will get the attention they need and deserve. With a nanny, they can still interact with other kiddos at the park, library, and zoo. They can come and visit you and your hubby at work. It sounds like a wonderful plan.

  10. I am the odd opinion. I say Daycare. I just prefer the idea of more than one adult watching the children. I have heard many bad stories of in home providers or one-on-one care givers.

    Early childhood experiences in a group setting are so beneficial for children. With a quality program, your child is being exposed to so much learning in developmentally appropriate ways. There are times when children cannot all be held at once, but it isn't always like that. Some transition times (like pick up at the end of the day) are not a good representation of how the entire day flows and how well the kids' needs are being met. You cannot assume that he never gets held at day care and/or that a nanny will hold him all day if she only has 2 kids to watch.

    I also agree with your pediatrician - the immune system he is building now will help him later. You do not want him going through this in kindergarten where missing too much school will hold him back.

    I take my kids to lots of places and often see nannies with 1-2 kids. Yes, some are interacting with the kids, but many are texting. Of course, you see the moms doing that, too.

    But, with a nanny, you will want her to take them out to do things (because cabin fever isn't going to be good for them) and play places, story hours at the library, the children's museum, zoo, aquarium... all will have other kids there to play with - and to give them their germs. I think staying in daycare and having those "family" germs that they will get used to is preferable.

  11. A couple more things popped into my head. (I haven't checked the other site to see if you have a discussion going there) These ideas are choppy, but just kind of brainstorming...

    In daycare, as they get older they will graduate to other classrooms. As they move up, tuition will drop because ratios can go up. But, with a nanny, you will most likely have to give her raises. Not a huge issue, but one to think about.

    I also like the idea of the kids moving up to other rooms and getting new teachers. It gives them the opportunity to learn from other people with different teaching styles. It also helps them learn to trust more adults and not become overly attached to only 1 caregiver. You can never go wrong with more people to love your child. This will set them up for success in public school.

    Does a nanny come from an agency? What happens if she is sick and can't work? Do they send you a substitute or do you have to take all that time off from work. How about holidays? Will she (or he, shouldn't be sexist) be willing to work right up to the time you have off. Or vacations - make sure you have it in the contract that she will take hers when you takes yours.

    My twins had a little girl in their pre-school classes (2 years) who was dropped off by a nanny. So, the parents were paying the nanny and paying for pre-school for social and school readiness. But, pre-school was only 9-1, so they needed the nanny for the remainder of the day and for after school with the older child. Will you put them in any formal pre-school setting in a couple years?

    I know a nanny would be very close to family after a while, but I would still have a hard time letting my child ride in a car with someone else driving. In 5.5 years, only 1 time have they ever gone somewhere without me or Lew driving. That was a school field trip that I couldn't drive to. I met them there. Carl has had the same therapists for years and as close as I am with those ladies, I still would not send him off with them in their car.

  12. I say nanny also - I have one for my 4 while I work. The benefit of the nanny is that you can have her do some things around the house for you while they kids are sleeping - ours does ALL of the kids laundry - wash, dry, fold, put away. Also when we only had 2 kids, she would make dinner for us a couple of days a week - casseroles and things like that. She can also be responsible for keeping the kids' rooms and play areas clean. Set all these expectations up ahead of time!

  13. Some nannies will also do light cleaning. That could be a huge bonus!

  14. Before you arrived at a decision to get a Nanny, you probably had to decide on whether a Nanny is better than taking your kids to the daycare. It was probably a hard decision because like any other choices, they both have their pros and cons.



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