Sunday, December 12, 2010

The Shopping Trip From Hades

It's gotten pretty cold around these parts lately. I knew that it was going to be cold today, VERY cold, so I decided the babies and I better get out of the house for sure. It was just me and the two monkeys, but I decided to risk it.

We bundled up extra warm and headed to the mall. Yesterday I packed up a ton of their clothes (tear) so I needed some retail therapy because it is a little sad how quickly my babies are growing. Of course the parking lot was a zoo due to the holiday season.

Both babies had been fussy and now they were asleep. I got the baby carrier out and put Ever in it and then wrapped her in a blanket. I got the umbrella stroller out for Oshy and put the diaper bag in it. It was freezing. I mean super nasty freezing out. I was in a rush. I picked Oshy up and the hit of cold air made his gasp and whimper. I got him into the stroller and he started fussing. I was in such a panic I was pulling at the seat belt and my grip got loose and I hit Oshy right in the nose!! Can you believe it? The poor guy gets the rude awakening of freezing air and then gets hit in the nose by his own mommy. He is obviously now very upset.

I get him strapped in and wrap the blanket around him. I take off running. I look like a complete jackass. The wind blows off one of Ocean's socks so he now has a bare foot in the 24 degree weather. I run faster. The wind blows again and it blows off the babies' blankets.

We don't even make it to the mall entrance ya'll.

I decide I am the #1 suckiest mom on the planet and turn around and run for the car. I again get in such a panic all I can do is screw things up. I yank Oshy out of the stroller and he is a complete wreck. Everything is in such a tangle I am bent over and I can tell by the breeze at least half of my ass is showing. Cars drive by. I know this isn't good, but my bare ass is just not the priority. Both babies are now in the carseats, crying. A man walks by smiling at me. I want to punch him in the face. Look dude, I know you just saw the shining beacon of white light that is my behind, but I don't need to have you looking at me with that d-bag smile on your face!

We are all in the car and I start driving because I know they will fall asleep like they always do in a moving vehicle. Once the car is quiet, I do what any mature adult what do and cry like a little baby.

Then drive through Culver's for a holiday ice cream treat in the form of emotional eating.

Oy, I learned my lesson.

Speaking of cold weather, I have some photos of our new cold weather apparel!


I spent lots of time looking at hats on Etsy, but I am a cheapskate and couldn't bring myself to spend $20-$30 on a hat for the super growth twins. I found these at Walmart for $7 and I think they are so cute, I couldn't believe it!


"What the hell is on your head?"


We sure won't lose Peanut in the snow!


  1. Okay, I'm curious where you live! We live in Omaha, NE and it was SOOOO cold yesterday (and the day before) and I too, like any responsible parent, took the babies out in it. The wind was SO nasty and it kept trying to blow off the girl's blankets as I was clicking their car seats in the stroller and sprinting into the store. I got multiple comments - I'm surprised you brought your babies out in this - ugh! So I'm right there with you for worst parent of the year award. Truth is though, we were already out for a birthday party and it is much easier to go ahead and try to complete everything you need to do at one time rather than find a different time to bundle the kiddos up again and go back out! They were totally bundled up and covered (warm outfits, hats, and 3 blankets each!) so they weren't cold by any means but still! When people start questioning you and your parental decision making skills you do start to question yourself!
    Okay, that's a longer comment than I meant to leave! I just meant to say that you aren't alone! =). And your kiddos are always!

  2. You poor thing! I would have cried like a baby, too!!

  3. omg, such a sad story - and just too hilarious! I'm so sorry mall day was such a fiasco. Poor Oshy will forever be terrorized by the mall now! ;) Ever is just too cute in her snowsuit!

  4. Cute pics! I would have headed back to the car too! I was laughing and also tearing up at your story. What a day! Sometimes it is challenging enough to try to go shopping with just one let alone two. I'm impressed with your attempt and am sorry it did not work out. Sweet pictures:)...I love, but it can be pricey at times!

  5. Ever's snowsuit is adorable!! Love the new hats, too!! You get credit just for even attempting to go out. Eh, so you never actually got inside the mall, but, you got them out for fresh air! Big Mom Points for that! LOL

    Now... wear your Mom Jeans more often and your butter beans won't be exposed!


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