Saturday, August 7, 2010

Oh My

If you are an infertile, you are used to rather senseless comments regarding matters of infertility. If you are now a mama of any sort, you are used to (or in my case, attempting to get used to) the endless nonsense of other's opinions with sheer neglect for the fact that different things work for different people.

An article came out this week discussing how the first IVF (or so terribly called in this article: "test tube") baby has just given birth herself.

The article was nice.

The comment section regarding the article was quite scary. I mean, some things are funny, but most were either absolutely embarassing or just plain hateful. Here are the highlights followed by my education on the subject:

There was never any doubt that Elizabeth would grow up to be a good person, but the act of her conception was cold and unloving. There are too many people in the world and there are children even in the US who would give anything to be adopted. In the meantime, the embryos who aren't lucky enough to be implanted are given a death sentence in the name of convenience or science.

Cold and unloving? We went to our embryo transfer with my mom. We took pictures of the embryos and I wrote them a love letter about how much I wanted them. Hubby spoke to my belly every night asking them to stay with us. I only had three embryos survive after the five days and two are my babies and one was frozen. I also do not think that anyone that does not adopt a child has any right to tell anyone who should adopt.

I wish on my second cousin's behalf that IVF didn't exist. Their mother was and continues to be a gold digger. She married their father late in life, became pregnant via IVF in her mid-50s (he was in his 60s), smoked and drank profusely during both pregnancies, and now is pretty much a widowed grandmother raising two teenagers. They grew up watching their father waste away due to cancer, and both have an unnatural fascination with violence and blood. By twelve, I know the oldest had already been drunk at least once. The few times I've been around them, I've seen them brutally attack each other, and once they both ganged up on my sister and I, when we were 19 and 16. They know no one their own ages due to home schooling.

This is a WTF times one hundred. This doesn't happen to kids not here because of IVF? I'm surprised this moron has the skills to even use a keyboard.

I'm very happy that this IVF baby was able to conceive and give birth in the natural fashion, but I think IVF is truly playing God too much. If your body is unable to conceive or fertilize, that's nature's way of taking you out of the gene pool. If it was an accident or surgery that made you unable to conceive or fertilize, that's different, but the majority of people who are having IVF are people who are simply incompatible with pregnancy.

Nature takes creatures out of the gene pool for a reason.

I love how this particular individual refers to people as "creatures." And you really think that nature is selecting crack heads, criminals, and abusers to populate the world? I always find it odd when a religious person pulls this out of the hat. Natural selection, or nature deciding what is best to further a species, is part of evolution. Aren't you supposed to NOT believe in theories of evolution? Think harder on this one genuis. And what about adoptive parents? In order to qualify to adopt you must be a healthy individual who can provide a loving home to a child. Aren't these the types of "creatures" we would want to have children? I really like this reply by another commenter on the article - ""Nature takes creatures out of the gene pool for a reason."

Yes, and rest assured your time is coming." Bwahahahaha!!

Is it just me or is that woman fat? Dont hate on me, but i have seen this trend, a couple of friends f mine have IVF kids, they re normal, but almost all of them are fat. well u may sa the parents are fat so are the children, but they arent! Maybe parents need to put IVF kids on a diet?

Oh my God . . . don't know what to say on this one . . .

I wont speak to the religious take on IVF – but from a societal standpoint, it's a little frustrating. There are lots of kids who need homes and lots of parents unable to naturally create kids of their own (either for medical reasions, or because they are gay). It just seems like an obvious solution, adoption...rather than invitro. Most people are just too selfish to want to do adoption – "it's not the same". Of course not, but why does it have to be?

This is clearly an individual who is not infertile or has never attempted to adopt. Adoption is expensive and hard. Yes, there are over 500,000 kids in the foster system right now, but there is not an adoption tree where you go to pluck from that fertile people seem to believe in. Adopting a child is a huge decision and you have to feel that you are ready for it, which does not make you selfish. Adoption is an incredibly special and amazing thing, not something you just do.

For those of you who believe in IVF, why do you insist of having doctors and scientists "play God".
Only God can create life, not some scientist in some laboratory. No one should become between a husband (male) and a wife (female) and God who is the creator of all life. This leaves your mad scientist doctor out of the picture.

This one always confuses me. If God didn't want you to have a baby, wouldn't you not have a baby? When you have a baby, you have a baby, right? So following this same logic, if you have a baby, even with IVF, doesn't that mean that God wanted you to have a baby, as in, if the baby is here, God wanted it. And a scientist in a laboratory can create life, that is the point of this article. And why would God not want anyone to have a baby? That doesn't make sense either.

I'm scared and you should be too. People are nuts. I hope my children are never spoken to about such crazy things or that they have the good sense to know that these people are mean. Hopefully they have a good sense of humor and will be able to reply that they were handpicked by the best mad scientists around and not the product of whatever came barrelling down the fallopians. **please note that I think all children are special, regardless of how they got here, but stupid comments must be returned by quick witted answers.**

I will leave you with two beautiful, healthy, loved, amazing, advanced petri dish babies:




  1. People can have such stupid ideas. Rather than informing themselves about how things work, they just assume, ( which makes an ass out of u and me). Hopefully your children will never have to hear negative comments like that as people, hopefully, become more well informed.

  2. Thank you for your post. I read the article, but not the comments. The comments you have highlighted here are truly scary. People definitely don't get how adoption or IVF works. I am in complete agreement with your responses! As someone who is embarking on my first IVF, I hope that we are successful, it is truly scary to think that these people are out there.

  3. You're brave to read those comments. I had done so on similar articles and it's just too much for me - I could just feel my blood boil. People are super ignorant. Ugh!!! Love your comments! :P

  4. Just further proof that the world is full of complete morons... surely these are the ones that should be "weeded from the gene pool".

  5. People are just nuts! And you are brave for reading these comments. I think I would go crazy. :) And calling a baby fat just because she used IVF...ridiculous!! Clearly it's what the child eats. And just from a Christian perspective...we believe that even though we did use IVF God still gave us this baby. The "mad scientist doctors" :) can only do so much. As we learned with our first FAILED IVF that the doctors can't do everything. So to say we are playing God and how could we because we are religious...well that's just crap. We can't play God. God still decided which embies would survive and He still decided which one would implant. I know we share different views when it comes to God, but that is what I have told people that have asked me if I thought I was playing God. "No, even the best doctors in the world can't make the embryos implant." Even great embryos don't "make" life just because the doctors put them together with sperm...again something we learned when we had 24 eggs but only 12 fertilized. People that just want to be super religious and guilt other peple need to just keep their fertile mouths shut. :) Because 98% of the time they have NO earthly idea what they are talking about. My one fertile friend didn't even know that some people don't get pregnant just because you have sex on cycle day 15. She said "that's what we did and that next month we were pregnant." I was like seriously pull out my eyes right now.

  6. Oh gosh...sorry for the book of a comment. :)

  7. My favorite are the people who feel IVF is OK for them religiously, then when they get pregnant and are faced with HOM decide to "leave it in God's hands". Just doing whatever is conventient for them at whatever time.

    Adoption may be wonderful and fine for some families, but why should someone have to give up on a biological child before all avenues have been attempted or exhausted? Really - did you go out and ask those reply-ers to fund your IVF? What business is it of theirs?

    Or how about, maybe God gave those "mad scientists" the knowledge to treat people and help them with their disease (IF). I love how we're considered damaged and supposedly should have been left out of the gene pool! LOL

    Or those claiming adoption is the best way, maybe they should have gotten their tubes tied at age 15 and simply adopted needy kids. People definitely do not think before they speak.

    Those commenters speaking of a cold and unloving conception have no clue whatsoever as to the committment and love that a couple has to share to be able to survive years of losses, embarrassing tests, procedures, surgeries, drugs, disappointment, etc. Believe me, even if it isn't conception in passion, the love is deeper than anything I can describe.

  8. ashley --- if people make stupid comments to your kids when they are older, they can tell them that their parents wanted to have them soo badly that they went through all thios trouble. I think that is something really special to know as a child.


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