Tuesday, February 2, 2010

People and their Comments

As you may have noticed from my last post, although I am having twins, I am the same size as most women who are having singletons. I don't know what to compare it to, but most people assume that people having twins are huge. People in my twin birth class are huge, so apparently there is something wrong with me. My babies are in a t-shape, which is the least common way twins hang out in the womb, so I'm sure that makes a difference as opposed to my babies being right next to each other.

I always thought that when fertile people whined to me about all the unsolicited advice they get while pregnant that they should shut their trap and get over it because the unsolicited advice of people who are successful getting pregnant while you are trying to conceive is much worse.

That is still true. I only have one peeve because most pregnancy advice is far less annoying than the "have you tried hanging upside down from your ceiling fan" advice.

The peeve: "Are they healthy?"

I don't look like I'm having twins I guess. I feel like I'm having twins, but to most people I apparently don't look it. This comment really gets me and why that is has evolved. At first, it made me very paranoid. Even though I should no better than to care about the advice of a complete stranger, it planted that little seed that there might be something wrong with my babies. Are they small for their age? Do they have a disease? Have they just stopped growing? At my first u/s Baby B was behind. She slowly crept up and they are measuring both the same. Specialist appointment after specialist appointment have confirmed that the babies are "amazing" (I put that in quotes because that is actually what the specialist said). So I mostly try to take the "you're so small" as a compliment.

Now it irritates me because what if they weren't healhty? I know they are so it doesn't bother me personally, but then I think of someone else whose babies may not be healthy. Is it really appropriate to bring that up? I would never look at someone with a bald head and just ask if they have cancer. Never. If something were wrong with my babies, do you really need to know? Or would you assume that I would want to talk about it? It pisses me off.

It happens all the time, but here is the most special conversation I had while being checked out by a super friendly Target cashier:

Genius: It looks like you're going to make a birthday cake tonight.

Me: Nope. I'm pregnant and am hungry for a cake so I'm making one for myself.

Genius (now frowning): Really? You look awfully young!

Me: Yep, I'm 25. I'm married so no worries (I live in the midwest and it is full of "values" for which you can be judged by everyone).

Genius: Oh. When is the baby coming?

Me: I'm having twins and they are due in May.

Genius (pure shock): Twins? Really? In May?

Me: They will most likely come in April as twins usually always come early.

Genius: Are they healthy? Did the doctor say if they are growing okay?

Me: Yes, they are perfectly healthy (people in line are now staring). Doing great and we are very excited.

Genius (printing out my receipt): Well, I hope everything turns out okay and that you get to live the life you want to.

WHAT????? Really? I just smiled and took my cake mix, toothbrush, and bronzer. First, why do people ask that? Second, what the hell is the "getting to live the life you want" comment about? Some people . . . . .

In other news, for the last two days I have been feeling like I've been hit by a truck. My blood pressure is just a touch high, I have a serious headache, and the pubic bone of death is acting up. Pregnancy time is starting to slow down a lot. I do have a specialist appointment on Thursday though and I am so excited. It's the monthly anatomy check which are my faves. They measure the babies and check up on all their little organs to make sure they are functioning correctly. It takes longer than the quickies that accompany my cervical violations, so we usually see something cute or interesting happen. I hope we get some good pictures of my monkeys. I also hope they are over 2 pounds now. My sweet monkeys.

My tiny, sickly, failing monkeys for which random strangers without PHD's can diagnose just by looking at my gut. Please bitches, my babies survived 5 days in a petri dish (and a few hours in jail), which in my mind, makes them much cooler than average sex babies. :)


  1. I'm actually surprised that people say that to you. I think you actually look pretty big for 6.5 months... I mean not like "Whoa, you're only 6.5 months!??!", but I think you are bigger than most first timers at 6.5 months.

    Sorry... people are generally assholes, which is why I generally don't like most people.

    Cake sounds yummy right now and I'm not even pregnant yet. :)

  2. what is wrong with Target cashiers?? I had a similarly none-of-your-beeswax exchange with a cashier a few weeks ago when I was buying prenatal vitamins (it was really fun telling her that i wasn't pregnant). Glad the babies are "amazing" regardless!! :)

  3. You crack me up!!! WTH is up with mid west check out people? I have had so many random rude comments come from check out ladies... But I love how you write about them!! Thanks for the laugh! Oh and you look freaking fantastic and spot on for a 6.5 month pregnant belly full of healthy twins!! I seen quite a few twin bellies in my family and you look perfect!!

  4. next time make some some crazy ass story: yeah, "I'm pregnant with my brother's baby", or how about "The priest from Holy Name Catholic Church is the father" hahaa get it?

    Really, screw everyone and their nosey know it all BS.

  5. Save yourself the stress... when they say, "Looks like you are making a b-day cake"... answer, "Yes." (and, brace yourself for once they are born... the comments are EVEN dumber and more personal when you are pushing that double stroller!)

  6. Gee, I sure hope you get to live the life you want to....

    That "genius" doesn't know that you are. You have two wonderful, wanted, loved, beautiful monkeys on the way.

    I can't believe people would question the health of your babies. Simply put, you are a perfect, beautiful pregnant woman. Some people just can't handle that.


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