During my pregnancy I had twin guilt on several occasions. I put two embryos in knowing that we had a 65% chance of twins, so when I heard from the specialist that IVF twins don't "hold as well" and then from the OB that I was carrying so small that I wouldn't make it past 33 weeks, I felt awful for the risks I was exposing my babies too by being born prematurely. Luckily they were both wrong! I got twin guilt again when I got GD and heard the risks of premature lung function and blood sugar issues after birth. When Ocean experienced both, I felt terrible.
I experienced twin guilt yesterday big time. Both monkeys were hungry at the same time, but I only have two hands. I had to listen to one cry and cry for 15 minutes while we waited for the other to finish eating. I HATE hearing them cry when I can't help them. I felt terrible! Also while this was happening, I was so stressed I wasn't eating or drinking much and my precious breastmilk supply was dwindling. So not only could I not comfort my sweeties appropriately, but I was worried I was going to run out of milk for them.
This morning I was exhausted and again one started feeding then the other promptly started crying. I was about to begin crying myself when I grabbed the other bottle and attempted to feed them both. IT WORKED! I fed them each with one hand and then took turns burping them. Then I was able to sit and pump as one calmly sat in the vibrating chair and the other rocked away in the swing. I just stared at their sweet little content faces while I milked myself and I felt so much better.
Now if only I could teach them to sleep for 8 hours a night . . .
Silly boy
Precious girl
Me, the babies, their grandma and their uncles (my brothers)!
Good for you! And congrats for staying so positive during what must be a VERY challenging time. Your family is beautiful :-)
ReplyDeleteyou literally have your hands full!!! It seems like you figured out a system, though. Hang in there, gal.
ReplyDeleteGood for you girl, It will all get easier.
ReplyDeleteGlad to hear that it is possible to feed both at once. YAY on surviving solo!
ReplyDeleteGood for you Mama! You'll be so surprised at the things you'll learn to do. And, the more you do it, the easier it gets!! I'm very proud of you!
ReplyDeleteIt will get easier! And someday, they will sleep all night! For now, enjoy this time because it goes so quickly!
ReplyDelete(You can burp both at the same time if they are fussing bad by you sitting up and laying each one across a thigh facing out. You can sit on the floor and then they won't fall if they lean back, but your leg should still be tall enough to support them to allow them to burp. I never shoulder burped, always either used the heel of my hand on their bellies while holding them upright or by laying them across my inner thigh.)
Oh - and ask DH to snap a photo of you feeding both sometime. It is something you will cherish looking back on.
ReplyDeleteGood for you!! Sounds like you are doing a great job. :)
ReplyDeleteYou are amazing!!! I only have 1 and I can't imagine doing what you do.
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