Some Random for Your Weekend

- I didn't do Firm Friday yesterday because I only worked out once and didn't have a scale where I was sleeping. I wasn't sleeping at my house because I am a pansy and when Hubby travels for business I always think we are going to get robbed and murdered in our sleep. Anyway, I ate a lot less, so that was good!

- Is anyone else weirded out by listening to 911 calls? I thought it was creepy when the whole Michael Jackson business happened, but then the other day on a radio station they had the Demi Moore 911 call playing and I just felt uncomfortable. Is this really our business? Should we be allowed to listen to what is happening in one of the worst moments of someone's life without their consent? I am thinking no. It's creepy. I turned the station.

- I can't tolerate this Bachelor. Seriously. I don't find him very attractive and he is so super boring. He doesn't seem one bit interested in the girls he is on dates with and there is no chemistry, other than his obvious enjoyment of oogling Courtney's goodies. If the women weren't so crazy, I probably wouldn't even watch, but that is good entertainment! On the other hand, thank GOD for the return of Cougar Town. That show is amazing.

-I can definitely see why the Duggar's had 19 kids. Aside from the good lovin' of a big family, my delightful son waits for me while I'm in the shower and then hands me my towel when I am done. Today he stood above me while doing my ab workout and squirted water in my mouth. It's absolutely adorable, but also really cool. I didn't even teach him that! Can you imagine what it's like with 19? You could have someone making lunch, doing laundry, cleaning floors. Seems like a good plan now instead of totally crazy.

-I signed up for another photography class! I have taken a one hour version and this will be four hours plus studio time. I'm really excited! I've always wanted some kind of hobby. Now that we are in toddlerhood I feel so much more rested and able to enjoy nuggets AND enjoy mommy activities.

- My children and I baked a cake together. It was lots of fun. I love strawberry cake with strawberry frosting, it reminds me of being a kid because I always had heart shaped cupcakes of this nature for my birthday. Ocean loves to help in the kitchen. Ever is on the fence about how she feels about it, but she'll eat it. That's my girl.









Enjoy the weekend!!

Kindness

Dealing with secondary infertility is much harder than I thought. Partially because of the juggling and the internal conflicts about what is best not just for Hubby and me, but for my beloved nuggets too.

I had hoped for a little compassion, but mostly only found it in the infertile world. Normal people who have kids without treatments find it really difficult to understand. I sort of get where they are coming from and have lowered my expectations about what kind of compassion/sympathy/caring someone should normally expect when they are going through a really tough time and fighting a disease because most people don't look at infertility that way (even though that's what it is), especially now that I have been doubly blessed.

A few days ago I was getting my hair done. I had told her about the FET because she is pretty anonymous and I got my hair done right before the FET was underway. She asked about it. I told her the result and we talked about it a little. All of a sudden I started crying. I told her how lonely and abandoned and unsupported I feel and how much harder it is than I had ever thought seeing ourselves in that embryo growing and alive and then it was just gone, with no back up plan, and it really isn't financially wise for us to try again, so now I am just trying to live with it, and it's hard. I just need some time to get things back on track.

I stopped and she was looking at me. I was flooded with embarassment. To my surprise, she gave me a hug.

Then she did something even more surprising. She told me that she knows I love my twins dearly, but there is nothing wrong with having the love and desire in my heart for more children and there is nothing wrong with feeling pain because I am not able to do it easily, or very possibly, at all, ever again.

I was so totally shocked. She is not infertile like me. Very few peoople that I know in real life whom are not infertile have ever said those things to me or ever intimated that they even grasp the concept. That one sentence made such a huge difference to me because I felt validated. People are always trying to guilt me out of my grief, or belittle it, and it is so confusing. To know that people who haven't walked this road can understand where I come from and offer compassion that would lighten my load a little bit was a huge blessing to me.

As if that weren't enough, several hours after I left, I received a text from her saying that she would be there for me anytime I wanted to talk about it. Is she even real? How could someone be so caring?

I thought I was just going to get a new 'do, but my soul got uplifted as well.

Vday and Bday

Today is Valentine's Day! Swoon over these adorable valentine's . . . .







I asked Osh Man several times if he would be my valentine and he said no or nope always. Luckily, Ever accepted my request on the first try.

I also turned 28 today. That means I have 729 days left in my 20's. No worries friends, I still got carded tonight! Woo hoo!

This day was very nice. Simple and nice.

1. I put balloons on the babes chairs and they each got a Toy Story doll. We ate donuts with red sprinkles together. They were so excited!

2. My kiddos at work surprised me by singing happy birthday out of the blue. It was very sweet.

3. My mom brought me some cake and put my dirty dishes in the dishwasher.

4. Hubby and I went to eat junk at Buffalo Wild Wings and I had a couple really yummy cocktails.

5. We did a mini-shopping trip.

6. Hubby got me (well, us) bike seats for the kids so we can take the nuggets cycling! I am really excited about that one!

I ended the day with snuggles. I asked once more if my sugar crazed boo bear son would please be my valentine when I tucked him in. He was pretty tired, so he just shook his head no one that one. He likes to play hard to get. I'll get him next year.



Curse daycare for the box of suckers they brought home! These nuggets love suckers!

Firm Friday

Starting weight: 158

Current weight: 156.6

Lbs. lost: 1.4

Lbs. to go: 16.6

My workouts this week were:

5 mile outdoor run (in only 45 minutes, woo hoo)

A 40 minute outdoor run with core and lunges

2 30 minute cardio sessions on the elliptical and core

I definitely made my goal! I really want to add in my Jillian DVD, but I can't find that thing anywhere!

On the other hand, my eating was disgusting again. I even ate cupcakes for breakfast once. Ouch. I have a plan for next week, except Tuesday which is my birthday and also Valentine's Day. I was born early on the day of love because the Lord knew how lovable I would become and it just fit so well. Ahem. If I don't eat better next week, I am officially a loser. Hubby says I just need to stop eating my emotions. But a good cry and a box of gourmet cupcakes is honestly better than a therapy session! Not for my health, but it has the same impact. I'm going to buck up this week though you guys. I can do it, I can do it, I can do it . . . . . .

Source: sequesterednook.blogspot.com via Tonya on Pinterest

My dangler of mush has never set off the metal detector, but that dumb bobby pin I forgot about did.

Mrs. Crafty Pants

I am not a domestic goddess. No, I am not.

My house is always messy.

I think cooking sucks big ones.

I would always rather buy or pay someone else to do something if it saves me time.

I found these little numbers on Pinterest.

Source: etsy.com via Ashley on Pinterest

So freaking cute, right? Well . . . you can buy them on Etsy. They are $32.99. This seller is super creative and these are adorable, but this poor mama is on a budget that doesn't allow for $33 for just two shirts. Especially two shirts that will have food and dirt all over them and be ruined in no time by the tornado twins that destroy everything.

A friend suggested a crafting and wine night. I mostly heard the "wine" part so I said "of course!" I was planning on making shadow boxes with the twins newborn stuff. Shadow boxes are ALWAYS on sale, always. Always except Saturday. I remembered the above photo.

I bought two shirts which were 30% off 2.99, I bought half a yard of fabric that was on sale for 30% off, ribbon for the necklace portion which was 50% and I bought the adhesive paper for the fabric which was not on sale but I had a 40% off coupon.

Two adorable shirts were made very easily AND they were less than $10 before taxes. Boo yah!! It would be better if they were sewn on too, but again, not a domestic goddess so I don't have the skills. Maybe someday.

My gorgeous nuggets wearing their new shirts.