Hubby is in school several nights a week and long story short, it sucks. I have no idea how single parents do it, but they are awesome.
On one of these days, I picked up my children, much later than when Daddy can pick them up on his days, and we went to get dinner. I try to refrain from taking them to eat myself because they are heathens and seem to be more intimidated when there are two parents around and especially when that parent is not me. There are plenty of nights that if I had a choice between cooking and letting someone shoot me in the foot and then give me food, I would let the person shoot me. Since there is no need for such violence, we went to Panera Bread.
I was holding Peanut while ordering, and Osh man was behind me slapping me on the ass saying "mommy" over and over again while doing it. I gently tapped him on the head a few times and said "no Oshy, not nice, be a nice boy." once he was satisfied with ass slapping, he moved on to reorganizing the pastries. While still ordering, I kept putting things back from where he was moving them. I retrieved my wallet and the man behind me stepped up to put something back that Osh had moved.
"You have so much patience," he said.
I get it dude. You're trying to tell me any other person would discipline their kid or not even take them out. I totally get it, but that was a really nice way of saying it.
"Oh, I'm not patient, I'm just completely crazy," I said, and then I smiled pretty for him. Like any smart person who just heard someone admit they are crazy, he walked away immediately.
Was that the end of the shenanigans? No, it sure wasn't. This was the eve of the Kansas and Kentucky playoff so of course my nuggets were rocking their Jayhawk gear. We sat down in a booth together and because the cushions had the slightest bit of spring to them they began jumping, then yelling out " KUUUU!" as loudly as possible. Some KU fans thought it was cool, but everyone else did not.
"Please stop that and eat."
"Shhh. Let's eat our yummy food and be quiet."
I leaned over and whispered " you need to stop this or I will have to spanking your butt."
Silence, ahhh. I was just about to be proud of myself when this yelling began:
" NO SPANKING BUTTS MOMMY! NO BUTTS."
For real. I might have to actually read a parenting book or something before you see us all on the news.
Speaking of heathens, it's never good to find two toddlers with their pants around their ankles, laughing hysterically while repeatedly flushing the potty.
It makes it harder that they are so stinking adorable!!