Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Mom Friends

I don't think we will have WTF Wednesday this week. I'm missing all my shows! I'll have to get back on the ball soon, but I have also been getting up at the butt crack of dawn to be to work by 7:00 a.m. so TV doesn't sound quite so appealing. Stacy also told me that I am going to have an aneurysm soon watching it, and I agree.

On to the point of this post . . . . .

I can't decide if I need to find mom friends. I've been unsuccessful so far. Here are my list of reasons:

1. The usual culprit, infertility. People don't usually enjoy watching someone's eyes roll so far back into their head they look like they have been overcome by Satan and someone should call a priest when they say things like "if my husband looks at me around 4:00 p.m. on a Saturday I am suddenly pregnant" or "I really hope our 12th child will be a boy, if not, we'll just keep on having babies!" No thanks.

2. I work, therefore playdates after a noon nap or a mommy and me workout at 10:00 a.m. on a Wednesday morning doesn't fit with my schedule. I also don't like the sad puppy eyed look I get from the other moms when I tell them I work everyday, full time. I have to.

3. My attention span is far too short to listen to the extremely overly thought out schedule of Super Mom's baby. In my house, we eat when we cry and we sleep when we're tired. We do have a general bed time, but that's about it. Thanks for making me feel like a loser Super Mom.

4. I don't read parenting books or follow special methods of parenting. When I am asked "what do you think about Weissbluth's method and what he said (is Weissbluth a chick or a dude?) on page 245, line 17?"

Me: "Uh, I don't know. What did you think of the NeNe calling Kim a dirty little wig wearing monkey on Real Housewives last week?"

Crickets chirping . . . . .

5. How. many. times. must. we. discuss. what. your. child. eats. and. how. often. ??? Of course breastfeeding must be discussed.

"I'm breastfeeding for at least year, it's such a wonderful experience."

Me: "Really? I'm so glad you're enjoying yourself. I don't use my breasts for feeding anyone currently, but sometimes I use them to get a cheap deal on my car service at Jiffy Lube."

Crickets chirping (or jaws dropping) . . . .

I also don't make my own baby food. I tried. It looked gross. I'm also too lazy to do that on a regular basis.

6. I don't need to talk about how awesome my babies are to people. I can say this or that, but not for very long periods of time. Why? I assume when you look at them that you automatically know that they are exceptionally attractive, advanced, and funny. I shouldn't have to explain that. Just like I shouldn't have to continuosly be asked to spell Ever's name for people. I'm pretty sure that's a sight word that everyone should know by the time they graduate Kindergarten.

I know I'm a smart mouth and I know that I'm not an expert on parenting things and perhaps just winging it is a poor choice, but there has to be something that I could bring to the table! There have to be some moms who would like to have a playdate on the weekend right? There are some other moms out there just like me right? Anyone? Bueller?

I know that someday I'm going to find my mom friend soulmate. She's out there. I think I would like to have mom friends. I think it would be so awesome to call someone and say "hey, lets go out to lunch and take our babies, but let's only talk about them part of the time and talk about other stuff too." Am I asking too much? I also have to find someone who can do that while I allow my seven month olds to suck on french fries and not have to worry about someone calling Child Protective Services. Now, I'm not saying I have to be mom friends with someone who is just like me, just someone who could refrain from making me feel like a loser for using the Ashley Method. I like hearing about other styles of doing things because we use all different tips around here, I just don't want to feel like I suck.

What do you think?

Next order of business . . . let's place some bets!

On Saturday, we purchased 408 diapers and 46 jars of baby food. How long do you think it will be before our stash is out?

Proof that children do survive on the Ashley Method:





  1. move to texas!!! I will take you to chickfila whatch while your babies suck on waffle frys and secretly be jealous that they can do that without getting fat. talk about kims wigs with you, plus the cost of living here is really low so you wouldnt have to work!!I have yet to find mommy friends that share my love for extremley trashy television!

  2. You are one of the coolest moms out there! Your kids are awesome and you're doing a wonderful job.

  3. Here from ICLW :) Those pics are awesome, thanks for posting. I have no idea what kind of mom i'll be (lets keep hoping!), but i'll probably talk about my kid all damn day. BUT, since I don't have a kid now I'm like - wow those mom's are totally lame. Don't worry, you're an awesome mom. People who try to dictate and control every single thing that happens just end up wanting to pull all of their hair out. Way to be. Best wishes with those two smart, attractive funny troublemakers :)

  4. You are hilarious! I check your blog almost every day looking for something to make me smile...though pictures of your little ones have that effect all by themselves...so precious! :-) Rachel & I want a play date! I am not good at making plans for play dates or even meeting new people for that matter:(... I do let Rachel eat french fries occasionally though! I never read Weissbluth or any of those books for that matter either...we definitely have some things in common:)...

  5. If you're ever in Maine, look me up! I have never read Weissbluth, don't breastfeed, and am tired of people asking me if we're going to have another child. Our "schedule" is different everyday, our 7 month old loves licking popsicles, and quite frankly, I cringe at the thought of joining a mommy group!

  6. Happy ICWL. Oh I do love this post! I so totally get it, in my own way. As the mother of one special needs child...yeah, I don't fit with the regular moms. They always want to do play dates at jacked up places like Chucky Cheese where my son is just pretty much going to either completely tune out or fall apart. He doesn't play with their kids....I can't relate to their experiences as soccer mom and they can't relate to mine.

    Those babies are absolutely adorable!

  7. I never joined a Twins Club because the idea of playdates bringing 2 more kids to my house was too tiring to think of. I have to admit, in general, DH & I don't like a lot of people. I prefer my "semi-hermit mothering" system. I loved that the babies were born in NYS in winter because I got to hole up and go nowhere for months.

    Honestly, if I were you, I wouldn't worry about it. Around here, weekends are for family activities. We do things 99% of the time with all 4 of us. It would be the only time I could take a break and go do something by myself, but it never works out that way. We do our best "childhood memory making" activities on the weekends. I don't want to mess that up having to do a playdate or whatnot. Since you work, I'd imagine your weekends will play out the same way. As the kids get older, you'll have more activities around the community and such.

    One thing here that I love is there is a free local parenting magazine I can pick up in the grocery store each month. It has an awesome calendar of events. We find so many cool local things to do through it. Maybe you have something similar.

    My kids won't eat french fries. How weird is that? 5 yr olds who won't eat fries. Oh well, more for me.

  8. You go girl! Do what's right for you and your family and screw everyone else ;-)

    Hope you have a wonderful Thanksgiving with your beautiful babies!!

  9. That last pic, LOVE the face! I totally hear you on the mom friend thing. I work full time so there's no mom club I can join either.

  10. Have you seen this video?

    You'll like this one, too:

  11. Mommy groups are hell. I've tried 'em and they aren't designed for us parenting after infertility/IVF/hell folks. I've officially given up. I'm too snide, sarcastic, up-front and bitchy to hang out with most of the fertile moms that I meet. Plus, I work and I sure as hell don't b/f so I'm assuming that makes me the antichrist.
    Too bad you're not in Wash DC ... I have a feeling we'd be soul sisters.

  12. Haha! Great post! *as usual, of course!* I joined our local meetup moms here in Tucson and it's so hard. I swear I'm the only working mom. Boo. Though, I did manage a Saturday book club where we didn't talk about the book, but instead, Twilight! Ha!

  13. It's so hard to make friends as an adult, period, let alone after IF!~

  14. Oh Ashley, I love reading your posts! I would love to get all of our babies together for a melee while we drank too much coffee and talked about the kids and our Hollywood friends :) -- Jaime (resolve)

  15. hahahahahaha

    Thanks for the laugh

  16. Oh my gosh you are totally my kind of mom!!!!!! Lololol.....only I do the Annissa method.....and those New Jersey Housewives are such wonderful drama.....oh, what are your thoughts of Bethanny on Skating With The Stars? My kids were all sucking on French fries as soon as they could hold them in their fists..it is a right of passage!
    happy ICLW

  17. you had me at kim and NeNe. and you made me want some french fries.

  18. It's so hard to make good friends ... and yet it's what we so desperately need!
    Enjoy your SITS day!

  19. Sounds to me like you are raising them just fine...A Mom friend will show up soon enough for now your hands are full! :)))

  20. Happy SITS Day!

    I Have issues with the whole working mom thing and playdates always being on work days.

  21. I couldn't agree more. Hope we all find the mom friends we seek!

  22. You are cracking me up. I dont have kids so I have the problem of my friends all talking about their kids all the time. I get that you love your kids, I think they are cute also but I dont want to hear about it all the time. I think you are the time of mom friend I need. :)

  23. {found you via SITS}
    It took me about 8 yrs of being a mom to find at least one mom friend...... it took another 7 years too find my 2nd Mom Friend

    My reasons somewhat similar to your.. I did Breastfeed- but never ever wanted to hear about otthr moms talking about people feeding off their brreats nor want to publicly discuss the people feeding off me...... I homeschool, so didn;t fit in with public school moms, but didn;t fit in with all the hoescholers at church because we didn't use a Christian Curriculum.....
    I refused to discuss my childrens bathroom habits. And refused to join in the "well, MY child was saying the alphabet when they were 18 months old.. what about your son?" ... Um, he was eating dryer lint at 18 months....

    I just turned 40. my boys are 18, 16,15 and I finally feel like I have friends and fit in somewhere and feel "comfortable in my skin" I guess.

    and I guess I am talkative today..

  24. I hope since writing this you've found a local mom friend! I'd be happy to be your bloggy mom friend. I definitely have my opinions on all the stuff you mentioned, but I'm a firm believer that every mom needs to do what's right for HER family (work, not work; schedule eating/sleeping, not schedule; breastfeed, not breastfeed). And you're right that it's important to have friendships where the kids aren't the only conversation topic! Healthy moms are moms who have lives!


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