Sunday, October 10, 2010
Psst, Ever, mom put these stupid hats on us and now she is taking pictures of us again.
WHAT? Mom, seriously. We are going to be legally blind if you keep taking pictures of us like this. We're already seeing stars as it is because you have taken over 1,000 pictures of us in the 5 months, 2 weeks, and 3 days since we were born.
Well sweet peanut, I have read about 4,000 internet articles, bits and pieces of a boring pediatrician's book, and 2,000 blogs and have never seen anything about anyone going legally blind from camera flashes so you should be fine. Besides, maybe if we enter you into the Gerber baby contest or the Gap talent search we will be able to pad your college fund.
Fine, Ocean, get out of the way, I need a headshot.
No, you get out of the way, I need a headshot.
Mommy thinks you both are the most beautiful babies ever born.
All mom's think that.
Yeah, I thought you told us while we were in the womb you wouldn't be a delusional whackadoo like most moms. You also said that you thought many women's vital brain sections come out with the placenta.
Ummmm . . . . I did say that, didn't I?
Yep, you also said you'd never go in public with a huge hummer sized stroller and you did that.
You also said you would never breastfeed and you did that.
You also called our pediatrician last week to make them check through all their vaccinations to see which one had preservatives and thimerosal and which ones didn't.
You also check to make sure we are breathing every now and then, yeah, you think we didn't notice?
You also told Grandma we aren't allowed to have any juice because then we might get diabetes someday, which is totally lame because you drink juice and you don't have diabetes.
You also talk in that ridiculous voice in public all the time and you make strangers make fun of us in the public bathroom when you clean our poopy butts and say "yay, we did it, we did it" and then people stare when you walk out of the bathroom stall.
Okay, I get it. No more pictures. Today.