Saturday, October 23, 2010

Good Baby or Bad Baby

Many people always ask me this question and I find it odd. I've never asked anyone this question of their child, even though it seems to be common.

"Are they good babies?"

I guess they're good. I mean, they don't clean up after themselves or have table manners or spend their free time volunteering at the homeless shelter.


The opposite of good is bad and I don't think that they're bad. They aren't out graffitying the neighborhood or shooting the cat next door with bb guns.


I tried to figure out why people ask this. I don't think there is really any baby that's "bad," so to the same point can a baby be "good?"

All babies pretty much do the same stuff:

1. Sleep. Even if your baby doesn't sleep all night or take regular naps, all babies sleep at some point and they sleep quite a bit.

2. Eat. Some babies eat breast milk, some eat formula, some eat organic baby puree and others eat whatever they find on the floor. And boogers. But they all do it.

3. Make noises. They babble, scream and cry. A mom once told me how wonderful her baby is because he never cries. I call bullshit. ALL babies cry. And if it really doesn't cry you should take it to the doctor to find out what the hell is wrong with it.

4. Pee and poop. Some might have green poop, brown poop or technicolor poop, but every baby poops. Some poop in disposable diapers and some in cloth diapers and some in hybrid diapers. Some parents claim that their babies pee and poop in the toilet via a method called EC, but I have to admit I don't believe that. I need to see video. And I need to see a working mama who dangles her baby over the johnny because she recognized the signs of potty in time to have a 2 month old hit the can. Mmm hmm. I'm being serious though, if you know where I can see this, I really want to!

5. And of course, all babies do cute stuff.

It really doesn't vary that much from these five things. Of course I think my babies are exceptional and amazing and just absolutely unbelievably attractive, but really, they mostly do this baby stuff. I know that.

So this is how it goes . . . . . .

Stranger: "What sweet babies. Are they good?"

Me out loud: "Yeah, I think they are."

Me on the inside: "What the french toast are you really asking me? Do they look like heathens? WHY are you asking me this?"

Maybe someday when I become a normal mom, I'll ask people this too. But for now, I don't get it.


  1. Yep, I think it's time to send your twins to military school. Time for some discipline. ;-)

    What people call a "good" baby is what I'd call an "easy" baby - mellow, not fussy or colicky. I surely wouldn't say that the opposite is a "bad" baby.. maybe "challenging" or "high maintenance."

    My brother has a newborn (his first) now, too. He's mentioned how DS was "well behaved" at the doctor's office. I had to bite my tongue on that comment. Good or bad "behavior" assumes that the baby has the first clue about manners and social norms.

    Anyway.. your babies are perfect in every way, regardless of the common wisdom that babies should be a quiet accessory, like a purse, to compliment our wardrobe. ;-)

  2. I don't think I've ever commented on your blog... but I love reading it and I had to respond to this one!

    I have 3 kiddos, I've done more than 10 fresh IVF cycles (I stopped counting) and had 22 losses... all this was after I had the first 2. I had no problem getting pg with them (just problems staying pg with them) the 3rd I had problems getting pg.

    Okay, so having written a novel now :-) The first screamed ALL-THE-TIME. She had really bad reflux. She slept maybe 7 hours a day total. She didn't like to eat. Had to be held and it had to be me.

    #2 had reflux and cried a lot. She loved her Daddy and was happy to be held by him. She liked to sleep and liked to eat.

    #3 (adopted) smiles all the time. No reflux. Likes to sleep (having a nap now). Likes to eat a bit. Laughs, is happy and loves to give kisses!

    So, #1 difficult baby, #2 average baby, #3 REALLY easy baby!

    But, maybe #3 is a really easy baby because we tried to have her for 4 years? Maybe because I'm older now? Maybe because I can compare her to #1 and realize how EASY she is? Maybe because I wasn't pg and hadn't just had a baby when she was born?

    I totally agree though, WTF is a bad baby? I haven't ever met a really bad baby!

  3. I think people ask to compare to their own experience. I agree, they are looking for easy vs colicky. A lot of times, after they get yoru answer, people then tell you how their kids were. You can find common ground that way, or come out feeling really lucky to have the coveted "easy" babies.... which I did! They didn't cry much, they ate well, they sttn by 4 months, and they were fradorable... still are.

    Or - you will soon get the "Which one is the Good Twin? and who is the Bad Twin?" question becasue you have 2 babies. No one asks a mom with a single stroller that question, but for some reason, two babies surely must have one angel and one devil.

  4. I honestly think people just ask that so they only have something to say. Or just don't know how to ask any other way.
    It is odd but hey you should totally freak out people when they ask. oh yeah so bad. One of them even poops. :)
    Have fun


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