I have been thinking about doing this for awhile, but haven't had the balls to do it yet. The name of my blog is changing!!
Infertility has left a scar on me. I feel so much joy now that we are going to be parents, but I think it will be awhile before I will forget what infertility did to me. Hubby and I went out to dinner and bought the babies some gifts for our Happy Half Baked Day. We were chatting about our excitement and how it was so hard for me to believe this is finally happening. That seems like a dumb thing to say since it's been happening for over 19 weeks, but it is just hard to grasp the reality. Hubby thinks I need to move on from infertility and just forget about it. Wouldn't that be nice? Although I feel super blessed that we are now pregnant and all the joys we are experiencing, when people announce pregnancies or send us birth announcements it still bothers me. Not nearly as much, but it still does. I am fully aware that life isn't fair and I don't wish going through ART procedures on anyone, it seems insane that people get pregnant from having sex. I don't think I will ever get over it. Everytime I think about it, it blows my mind.
BUT . . . . I am going to change the name of this blog! From (In)Fertile Myrtle to . . .
Artificially Fertile Myrtle
In order to be more positive, I am going to think of myself as fertile. Because I am, once we found the right procedure. I'll never be someone who says "oh, I get pregnant everytime the wind blows" or "I even get pregnant on birth control," but I am fertile in a sense that I am going to have children. Just like the day I had just failed our final IUI. It was freezing balls and I was at the grocery store and I just pulled into a spot thinking it was a little bit of luck to ease my pain that I got a great parking spot on a weekend. Nope! It was the "Expecting Mother" parking spot. My first instinct was to cry and cry. My next instinct was to park in it anyway, but I was expecting to be a mother, even though I didn't know if it would be from IVF or adoption. :) And I was right.