Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Donut Flavored Vegetables

This is what I really need. I have never really enjoyed veggies, but used to at least eat them in powdered form blended into a mixed berry and pomegranate juice shake. French fry flavored veggies would be good too. I NEED to eat better, starting now. After Burger King for lunch, I ate fresh grapefruit. I feel like I'm going to barf. I at least used to enjoy fruit, but not since pregnancy! But I slept for 14 hours last night and I know my tiredness is a result of my disgusting eating habits. I don't really need sugar, just tons of meat and salt.

When you are pregnant there are a gazillion restrictions. A new addiction I've acquired since pregnancy is drinking pop. I never drink pop, but now I need it everyday. That is a big no-no. It has caffeine in it, which is bad. Real pop has too much sugar and diet pop has aspartame, which is also a no no. Yet I drink it. Soft cheeses are bad. I am craving goat cheese bruschetta but I haven't eaten it. I will admit that I have not denied the feta or blue cheese that is added to a salad. Naughty. Although I truly love hot dogs, I have not had any since pregnancy. But I have had lunch meat, which carries the risk of listeria. I use Palmer's Cocoa Butter for stretch marks once a day on my itchy tummy. I was just told yesterday that it registers a level 6 out of 10 on a danger scale. I get tons of ultrasounds, which could also cause harm, I think one kid in history became deaf from them. I almost forgot, I just realized that my face moisturizer has salycilic acid in it. My babies don't stand a chance!!

So what I am saying is, I'm a terrible mom already. I don't really believe this, but the judgemental mommies of the world look at me with horror. Someone asked me, "what has been the hardest for you to give up?" Sadly, the only thing I have given up is vodka. And chiropractic adjustments. Otherwise, I have carried on. This person obviously looked at me like I'm the devil. Which I am.

I have carefully looked for deformities in my children due to my consumption of turkey sandwiches and Diet Coke. We haven't found any. I love my babies very much, but propaganda or not, I just really like turkey sandwiches, is that so wrong? Obviously the babies love turkey sandwiches because they always sound good. But the evil eye I receive from other women makes me a touch paranoid. I guess I have never looked at a child in my program who is wild or misbehaves and thinks "ugh, that mother clearly consumed hot dogs while pregnant."

But I will give it a try, I will try to eat healthier. I bought caffeine free diet coke, which still has aspartame, but it's a step in the right direction. I am going to try to gather enough energy to attend water aerobics. And yes, I will be rocking a bikini. I have gained 12 pounds as of my last OB appointment (I refuse to weigh myself at home) so we will see what happens next Monday.

Mystery of the day: I work in a school that has 100% automatic flushing toilets. Why, then, is there child pee in most of the toilets just marinating in the bathroom everyday? If the toilets flush automatically, shouldn't there be no lingering pee? Weird!


  1. hahahaha

    what does anyone really know about anything?

    I love hotdogs, too.

  2. Not quite the same as a good cola- but Root Beer and Ginger Ale are both caffeine free and no aspartame... may those will work?
    And you're totally not a bad mommy... just a hungry, and surprisingly (considering infertility damage) non-neurotic one, haha.
    Also, I wonder the same thing about the pee... I usually go with the too short to trigger the sensor arguement...

  3. LOL...funny post...you are not a bad mommy just not a totally neurotic one:)...My friend and teaching partner, who was a diet coke junkie like me, switched to root beer when she got pg with her quads. I used to take it to her when she was in the hospital on bedrest:)...I am trying so hard to wean myself off the diet coke/diet pepsi and have started drinking diet ginger ale:)...hugs,Lori

  4. Better late than never with commenting, right? I know this post is older but I'm just getting around to catching up on my reading...oh, well.

    This post completely made me laugh. I LOVE IT! If you find donut-flavored veggies, please, please, please send them my way. All I want to eat is "BAD" for me! :) And if you're already a terrible mom (you're NOT!) then I am too. Can join your I'm-preggo-but-still-eat-turkey-sandwiches club??

    Oh, and I don't like the self-flushing toilets. They either don't do their jobs at all or they do it too soon and my butt gets sprayed. GROSS. What's so great about technology...LOL!


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