Today is a big day! I am half baked for my 38 weeks of twin pregnancy! Next week I will be 5 months pregnant. It is so unbelievable. Going into my first IVF I was very hopeful, but also fully aware of all the possibilities. Many times a person has to do more than one IVF, chemical pregnancies are pretty common, and the worst would be to experience a loss. I can't imagine it. But I did imagine it before we went into this. In two and a half years, I had never been able to get pregnant so who was to know if I could stay pregnant or not? After failure upon failure, I had no idea what would happen to us. Maybe my eggs would be terrible quality or maybe we had genetic issues. With IVF, you learn so much more about your body than just doing Clomid or IUI's because they really get to see what they are working with. Maybe we would walk in and we would have no eggs at all of any quality. It was exciting, but also terrifying. We could learn that it is just not possible for us to have biological children, period.
I have been super tired and it takes at least three hits on the snooze button to start to wake up. But today I woke right up because I remembered the halfway mark. I went from using the Baby Beat everyday, to now maybe once or twice a week. I almost always do it with hubby there so that we can both hear them, I don't want him to miss anything. And in the back of my Debbie Downer mind I worry that I will be alone if I can't find a heartbeat and I don't want that either. I need hubby for those things. I checked on my own today and they were both there, in their usual spots, hearts beating away. Still trucking through everything. I now go to ultrasounds to pick out body parts, not to see if they are still alive.
We've made it halfway!! I really think we will make it all the way to the end now. So bizarre that this is happening to me . . . .