My First Exercise

My elliptical machine used to be my prized possesion. It was used nearly daily for between 30 minutes to and hour and 15 minutes. I looked forward each day to my sweaty bonding with my machine. For the last four months, it has been collecting dust and has clothing, towels, etc hanging from it.

IVF took a toll on my physical fitness big time. Four months ago I could go out and run ten miles, followed by planks, abs, lunges and weight lifting and not get sore. Beginning with OHSS in August, I slowly began to be unable to exercise.

So I had my first exercise time yesterday!! It is rather embarassing, but it's baby steps, right? I made it 11 minutes on the elliptical machine (although I could have done more if I could find my f-ing iPod). I then lifted 5 pound weights. I know it's not much, but it's a start! I don't want to be a pile of mush by the time my babies get here so my goal is to get back up to 30 minutes on the elliptical and also at my next OB appointment get my doctor's note approved for my "Fitness for Two" class.

Next up: stop eating fast food!! I LOVE french fries and am especially addicted to Arby's roast beef sandwiches. I keep buying healthy food but it continues to go bad. I forced a salad on the babies last night and they took it pretty well, although Daddy's french fries looked SO appetizing!

The Specialist

The Friday after my last OB appointment, which was almost three weeks ago, the OB confirmed that they sent everything they had over to the perinatal specialist and they will call and give me an appointment. Give me they said. Not "set it up," or "schedule it," they will just call and give it. Yesterday I arrived home and found a letter from my insurance stating that my appointment with Dr. C has been approved by insurance. What the french toast? I have an appoinment? It said an 80 minute consult was approved. Holy bananas, 80 minutes is a long time and I do work for a living.

I asked my friend who has gone to this facility of specialists when they call. She said they just call the night before and tell you when you can come in. So I decided I had better call them to see. My appointment is Tuesday at 8:30 a.m. I said thank you and wrote it down, hung up. Then I was like, today is Friday and they weren't planning on calling me. Tomorrow is the weekend so they really just were going to call me the night before. I was a little ticked, but I have been interested in what happens there or what they will say, so I guess it's good that I have "Debbie Desperate" written across my forehead, as do probably most women in need of perinatal specialist. So whatev, can't complain.

My irritation was quickly replaced by joy. I get to see my babies on Tuesday when I hadn't expected to see them for almost a week after that! Yay yay yippee yay, I always love to see the babies! I couldn't find their heartbeats tonight, but it was because I ate a lot and all I could hear were the sounds of digestion, so I did not panic and will try again later. I'm just happy that I have another ultrasound coming up on the horizon.

In other news, I got called a bitch to my face today. Man, if I had a dollar . . . . . .

Dreams Pt. 2

I would like to say I am having weird dreams because of pregnancy, but that's not true, my dreams are always weird. Last night before bed we used the Baby Beat again. It took longer than the night before, but we found the heartbeats! I love hearing that sound. I can go to bed happy and content after that.

I had a dream about labor and delivery last night. I would really like to have a c-section just to be safe, but everyone else (except my OB mind you), is rooting for it the old fashioned way. In my dream it was the old fashioned way and I was thinking "this doesn't hurt at all." Hubby was with me and the delivery room was really weird. It was round and there were all these windows in it and they were open so a breeze was blowing in. The first baby came out and he was very chubby. I love chubby babies, the fatter the better. The nurse put him in my arms and the baby wasn't crying, he was smiling. Hubby was crying. The baby was the most perfect, beautiful baby ever. I gave him a kiss on the head and the nurse took him to do all that stuff they do to babies after they come out. I couldn't stop looking at him and the nurse told him to say "hi mama." And he did! I was like holy shit, call Harvard, my baby is a genius!!

All the nurses and the doctor left. The doctor was morphing from Dr. B and back to my current OB and it was very creepy. I yelled at them because there is still another baby in there and I have to get it out! They forgot my other baby. They just left and I tried to be calm because I figured they know what they are doing, but they never came back. I could tell I was waking up, but even my subconscious was trying to keep me asleep because I really wanted to have the other baby.

The last part was kind of disturbing, but I'm going to have a good day thinking that the universe is trying to tell me that at least one of the babies is going to be a super cute genius. :)

Must Stop Eating

I am so nasty. I am always feeding. It doesn't matter if I throw up, it doesn't stop me from consuming foods in mass quantities. This is what I have eaten today:

-2 strawberry poptarts
- Turkey meat (until I googled the symptoms of listeria, then I threw the rest of it in the trash)
-An apple
-A nacho Lunchable
-Caramels
- Cantaloupe

It's only the afternoon. I feel like a blimp. My goal is to not eat for the next two hours. I am out of Zofran and for some reason, the more I eat, the less nauseas I am. I can't get the refill until after work and I can't wait! Hopefully it will help curb my appetite. My poor babies are experiencing a terrible diet. And I hate vegetables.

My Baby Beat finally arrived yesterday!! I have been in pain and still have a throbbing pain in my left side, but both babies have heartbeats. It's such a relief to hear that. Infertility just reminded me that bad things can happen to me, so I am always worried about this pregnancy. Luckily a week from today I will be in my 2nd trimester, which is supposed to make me feel better! It took awhile to hear, but then we heard it. I tried to say I would only use it once a week, but I am pretty sure I will be using it once a day.

Peeve of the day: Vegetarians on a mission. I absolutely do not care if people don't eat meat, I don't think anyone should eat anything that they are not comfortable with. But when crazies like Natalie Portman compare eating meat to being a rapist, I get slightly aggravated. Humans are mammals. Many mammals get ALL their nutrition from a meat only diet. It is not shocking that humans eat meat as well. There are many nutrients in meat. If you don't like it, don't eat it, but don't get too crazy on others who really enjoy a juicy steak or a hamburger. I don't say you should have to eat meat so I don't want to hear your thoughts on why I eat meat. Anyhow, most vegetarians I know own leather products. Your handbag and your car interior didn't die of natural causes, dumb ass.

Sorry, I'll blame it on the hormones! :)

IT DIDN'T COME TODAY!!

I am so pissed right now, the Baby Beat didn't come today! I went to bed with excitement and woke up with excitement because the Baby Beat was supposed to come TODAY!! But it didn't. Ugh. I could punch somebody the face. I had hubby call me as soon as he got in to tell me what the Baby Beat was like and when he said it wasn't here I just started bawling. I was up all night with weird cramping so I was so relieved knowing that the doppler was coming and it's NOT HERE! Apparently somewhere the weather wasn't great so it is supposed to be here tomorrow. Hubby told me he didn't want to admit it, but that he was excited too.

I think something that caused some of the cramping was another growth spurt. Hubby lifted up my shirt and said "whoa, you're really . . ." Then he got the evil eye to not say anything that might get his head ripped off and then he concluded "you're really beautiful." That's what I thought, buster.

In other news, I waited for 3 hours on Saturday for my H1N1 vaccine. The nasty infertile came out of me. When I saw pregnant women in line with their five other kids I just felt like God damn it, you have some to spare, get out of the line so I can be sure to protect the only two I will ever have (unless I win the lottery soon). Don't worry, I am in therapy and I am fully aware that's crazy. Obviously I wouldn't want anything to happen to this person but I have never seen a line like this in my life and panic set in thinking I would have to go another few weeks being repeatedly exposed and taking my chances!! Luckily, I got it and hopefully we will be swine free for the rest of flu season.