1. Baby On Board signs on cars. Really? You think some psychopath with road rage is going to get pissed that you cut them off and then start tailgating you with the intention of bashing your head in with a baseball bat and that little yellow diamond that says "Baby on Board" is going to make them all of a sudden as docile as a baby kitten? No, it's not. You think when it is slick with rain on the road and that huge semi comes careening across the freeway it will all of a sudden just stop in it's tracks because of that dumb little "Baby on Board" sign? Or are you just advertising that you have a baby in your car? I don't get it. Dumb.
2. People who dress their kid to the 9's just to do everyday things, like go to the park or the store. Your little girl doesn't want to wear baby wedges, a skirt, a larger than life hair thing and a giganto vest that looks like a dead animal. Let your kid play. Your son/daughter is not your doll.
3. One of my feet is totally jacked and I walk like an idiot sometimes. This is completely my fault because a few months back I was at a place with my children from work that is full of those blow up jump jump thingys (bounce houses). A very fit 8 year old asked me to go with him and copy what he did. He jumped off of a section that was higher than the other and then did a flip. Because I am a regular genius, I thought I could do this too. No, I could not. My back and foot cracked. I'm still paying for it, as I deserve, for thinking that I am in as great shape as an 8 year old.
4. Internet liars. This is a phenomenon I don't quite grasp. Making up junk about yourself or your kids is just plain weird. Or people who bicker and bicker and bicker with each other online.
5. People who have a baby shower with every kid because "every child should be celebrated." I don't really care if you have a baby shower for every kid, that is not the annoying part. The part that is annoying to me is that you have convinced yourself this is for the baby somehow. How is that true?? That baby is a fetus who doesn't really care about anything, let alone if you have a party for it before it has arrived. This is for you. Own it.
6. Those feathers people wear in their hair. Only a few people look good in them, everyone else looks just plain silly. I was talking to a woman who had one that was thick and fluffy dangling off of her bangs and I just couldn't take anything she said seriously.
Phew. I feel better now.