Happy Halloween!

The monkey's first Halloween! Hubby and I love Halloween. I know their costumes are a little obvious, but they had to be monkeys after being called that for nine months!!

They played with their cousin today and we took pictures but other than that there isn't much to do with 6 month olds.

Next year will be even more exciting because we can go trick or treating and I will eat all of their candy. Let the countdown begin . . . .

Six Months

We will do WTF on Friday, and yes I did watch "16 and Pregnant" and I felt like I was being punk'd the whole time.

Last Friday the craziest thing happened.

My babies turned 6 months. 6 months!!! HALF A YEAR!! How did this happen? It's so weird, because I felt like they have been here forever and I didn't live any life without them. I can hardly remember it. At the same time, how the f^&* is it halfway to their ONE year old birthday?

Ocean Michael

AKA: Oshy Bear, Bubby

Weight: 17 pounds, 7 ounces (46th percentile)

Height: 28 inches (91st percentile)

Sleeping: Goes to bed between 8:00 and 8:30 p.m. and wakes twice around 1:30 a.m. and 4:30 a.m.

Eats: Soy formula, pureed fruits and veggies and just started mixtures of these, rice and oatmeal cereal

Likes: Snuggles, binkies, smiling, being outside, pulling mommy's hair, hamming it up

Milestones: Sitting up, drinking from a cup

Ever Ieleene

AKA: Peanut, Wild Thing

Weight: 15 pounds, 2 ounces (28th percentile)

Height: 26 inches (57th percentile)

Sleeping: All night! Goes to bed between 8:00 and 8:30 p.m. and gets up around 7:30 or 8:00 a.m.

Eats: Soy formula, rice and oatmeal cereal, pureed fruits and veggies, mixtures. We love Ella's Organics!!

Likes: Playing with toys, looking at her mobile, eating, going outside, and our dog, Rocky

Milestones: Sitting up and drinking from a cup

I can't believe my babies are so big. It's cool, and also sad at the same time. They're going to be teenagers before I know it. Tear . . . . . .

Hot Mess

Infertility sucks big ones. I had some type of infertility medication in my body for two years straight, with the exception of a month or two break here and there. My biggest excitement second to having two healthy babies, was that I would birth them and be a healthy, normal person again.

The universe has had other plans for the last month.

I had been having stomach pains that come and go, but I wanted so badly to be a normal person who only goes to the doctor once a year so I tried my best to ignore them. Then, while on vacation, I had to go to the emergency room for gastritis. Having meds and being on a bland diet helped in one week.

My next weekend was good.

The weekend after that my back started spasming. Again, who cares, I work all day and hold two babies a lot and we rarely just sit around the house so it was probably just sore. But then I woke up on Sunday and literally could not stand. Pain pills, muscle relaxers, ice/heat and two trips to the Chiropractor later I felt better.

This last weekend (the weekend after the back incident) I got a canker sore, which I have never had before. I asked hubby if he brought me back some herpes from his business trip, but then he told me I'm a dummy, it's just a canker sore and what I should do. I swished baking soda and salt in my mouth a few times.

I woke up Sunday night and never slept. My entire face was on fire. My ears and throat hurt. I went to the dentist for the first time in over a decade (hey, don't judge, I didn't have dental insurance and I"m a cheapskate). My mouth was infected because my teeth are completely jacked!! On Friday I will be getting a root canal, crown and fillings. Yay. Let's please don't even discuss the cost of this. With insurance.

Oh, you haven't listened to enough whining? Here's some more:

1. I hate working. Not because I hate working, but because I can't be okay with leaving my babies. I thought it would get easier, and at first, honestly it was a relief because those first few months are BRUTAL. But now it sucks. I miss them more and more. Now that I spend most of my free time in the hospital or on pain pills, our time isn't as quality as I would like it to be.

2. Spending my day away from my babies makes me think too much and I become bitter betty. Bitter for all the money we had to spend making the babies. It's a stupid thing to even think about it, because without spending that money we wouldn't have them, so to think that if I didn't spend all that money I could be home with them is a waste. But it consumes me sometimes.

3. Guilt. Hubby was out golfing on Sunday and it was just me and the babes. I love those times, but sometimes I feel so guilty for being selfish and having two of them at once. I was feeding Ever and Ocean was sitting on the floor. He wanted me to hold him, but I can't hold one while feeding the other, not enough space and they are too wiggly now. He was crying and looking right in my eyes. It was a cry he does that is SO sad because his lower lip sticks out and he wails. I cried too because I felt like a bad, mean, shitty mommy who needs more arms and time to love my babies everytime they need it. I gave myself an F- for that moment and guilt consumed me.

Anywho, I left work early and headed off to Target to to fill yet another pain pill prescription and get an antibiotic for my yucky face infection. I bought the babies some things because I love to do it and I also bought a box of Oatmeal Pies to fuel my unhealthy habit of emotional binge eating.

I got in my car and as I was stuffing the fourth Little Debbie into my infected mouth and feeling sorry for myself Bob Marley came on the radio.

"Rise up this mornin', Smiled with the risin' sun, Three little birds Pitch by my doorstep Singin' sweet songs Of melodies pure and true, Sayin', (This is my message to you-ou-ou:) Singin': Don't worry 'bout a thing, 'Cause every little thing gonna be all right. Singin': Don't worry (don't worry) 'bout a thing, 'Cause every little thing gonna be all right!"

And it made me smile a little bit and feel a little bit better. So I put the Little Debbies down.

I arrived home and was greeted by my two perfect, hilarious, sweet angels.



Things can't be that bad if it can all get cured by a Bob Marley song and two little Hugh Hefner look-alike's. After all, shit happens in threes so after my very expensive mouth fix on Friday I should be golden for awhile. I guess it's best to get it all over with in one month, so really, I'm lucky to just bang it out now. And I WILL be a healthy person someday, probably not normal, but it's all gonna balance and me and the babies are going to live it up!

Good Baby or Bad Baby

Many people always ask me this question and I find it odd. I've never asked anyone this question of their child, even though it seems to be common.

"Are they good babies?"

I guess they're good. I mean, they don't clean up after themselves or have table manners or spend their free time volunteering at the homeless shelter.



The opposite of good is bad and I don't think that they're bad. They aren't out graffitying the neighborhood or shooting the cat next door with bb guns.



I tried to figure out why people ask this. I don't think there is really any baby that's "bad," so to the same point can a baby be "good?"

All babies pretty much do the same stuff:

1. Sleep. Even if your baby doesn't sleep all night or take regular naps, all babies sleep at some point and they sleep quite a bit.

2. Eat. Some babies eat breast milk, some eat formula, some eat organic baby puree and others eat whatever they find on the floor. And boogers. But they all do it.

3. Make noises. They babble, scream and cry. A mom once told me how wonderful her baby is because he never cries. I call bullshit. ALL babies cry. And if it really doesn't cry you should take it to the doctor to find out what the hell is wrong with it.

4. Pee and poop. Some might have green poop, brown poop or technicolor poop, but every baby poops. Some poop in disposable diapers and some in cloth diapers and some in hybrid diapers. Some parents claim that their babies pee and poop in the toilet via a method called EC, but I have to admit I don't believe that. I need to see video. And I need to see a working mama who dangles her baby over the johnny because she recognized the signs of potty in time to have a 2 month old hit the can. Mmm hmm. I'm being serious though, if you know where I can see this, I really want to!

5. And of course, all babies do cute stuff.

It really doesn't vary that much from these five things. Of course I think my babies are exceptional and amazing and just absolutely unbelievably attractive, but really, they mostly do this baby stuff. I know that.

So this is how it goes . . . . . .

Stranger: "What sweet babies. Are they good?"

Me out loud: "Yeah, I think they are."

Me on the inside: "What the french toast are you really asking me? Do they look like heathens? WHY are you asking me this?"

Maybe someday when I become a normal mom, I'll ask people this too. But for now, I don't get it.

WTF Wednesday

I know,Thursday. Sheesh people, trying to work out now, working full time and lovin' on two munchkins is hard work!

- The Teen Mom reunion was okay. I'm not that into touchy feely stuff. Ryan was making me laugh with his comments though. He looks a little on the blank side. I love Catelynn and Tyler as usual, but her mom is such a beyotch. Just mean. I want to adopt Catelynn. I did feel sorta bad for Amber. I guess that is the good thing about seeing yourself on video, you might see things a little more clear. Sometimes I think Dr. Drew is kind of hot, but other times I think he is kind of creepy. Why does he get so close to the teenagers? Weird.

- I have to admit I've been diggin' the Sister Wives idea. It really is a good plan. I'm not the jealous type (in the man and attractive women department, definitely jealous in the fertile baby poppers department) so I think it would work well for us. Until the new episode this week when the first wife was getting HER husband ready for HIS wedding to SOMEONE else and she said she wished it was her wedding night. Eeew. Never mind.

- The Real Housewives of DC reunions have been going on and they are pretty brutal. I think the DC's are the weirdest. They are just hammering on the one lying couple, who just keep getting caught in more lies. GIVE IT UP ALREADY! I watched the new Housewives of Beverly Hills. These are super rich BEYOTCHES. Definitely the richest of all. And holy collagen batman. I love the older one, she is hilarious and I also like the one that makes all the moo-lah and doesn't let her husband have it (probably because hubby and I have joint checking so I can sympathize with people being critical of it, except I'm not protecting millions of dollars, bummer). I'm definitely going to watch.

- On why I will not be watching 16 and Pregnant: :

1. It's effed up and reminds the universe can be a cruel bitch sometimes.
2. It's depressing. The situations are pretty sad.
3. There is really a teenager on the show who exhibits a decent level of intelligence and it scares me.
4. I get a little sad thinking of those babies and where they are after the show is over.

I'll watch though. I'm not known for my self control.

- The Glee girls are in hot water for their sexy photos. I personally think they look great and if you are letting your little kid look through GQ magazine you might not be the best parent, so stop whining. GQ magazine is a sexy magazine, duh.
Simple equation: sexy magazine+parents who don't want their kids to see sexy stuff=don't let kids see the magazine.

It's hard for me to pinpoint a best baby moment this week because they have all been super awesome. My kids are hilarious!! And completely opposite.

Sweetness



Hay tastes good



How many licks does it take to get to the center of a pumpkin?
Just ask Ever! She's the only one I know who has tried it!