Half Baked Update

I can't believe I'm saying this, but I am over half done baking Baby 3. Almost 22 weeks. Holy smokes.

Baby 3 checked out perfectly. Everything present and functioning properly. I am shocked, beyond shocked, and thankful. So thankful for such a healthy baby. It's unreal to me. We took the twins with us to an ultrasound to include them. Peanut cried the whole time, she found the experience terrifying. I had to hold her hand for moral support during it. Wow. Both kiddos thought it was hilarious looking at the little fetus face. The specialist got a kick out of the twins, the last time he saw them they were swimming in my belly. By some miracle, I did not peek. A healthy nugget is surprise enough for one day and we are still not finding out the sex. Hubby and I walked out of the office with ridiculous grins on our faces. Baby 3 is quite the mover now and we have felt him or her on the outside already. I am dreaming of the day where the movements are so big that Osh and Peanut can feel it. I just imagine that in my mind to be very special, even though they might not care that much.

My real guess is that this is a baby boy. Here is Baby 3:

We also got a 3d pic and he or she looks so much like Ocean!! It is crazy. Peanuts profile was always very round and Osh mans was pointy, so I'm guessing boy for sure. I think Osh is the most handsome little devil on this earth. Can you imagine having two little handsome devils like that? I'm pretty sure I'm going to end up like these parents:

Source: bonjourchloe.tumblr.com via Ashley on Pinterest

These are brothers. Are you freaking kidding me? These parents procreate like a boss. Yum.

In mommy news, I feel not great but that is normal. I eat like a pig, but have only gained 10 pounds. I think I have a tapeworm because I should have gained 80 pounds. I am liking my belly, it looks a lot better than the dangler. I can't seem to stay uninfected with a bacteria so it's a little scary but I am so close to viability that the fear is starting to ease a bit. I must take a moment to say how awesome Hubby is. That man does everything! I'm just a worthless lump of a pulse and fetus. That's it. Also, my grandparents. It's really good to live near your grandparents because they are lifesavers too. I never had issues sleeping when knocked up with the twins, but I am having a lot of trouble this time. I got up last night and made a quesadilla in the oven at 4:00 a.m. It's crazy!

Maturity Issues

A package arrived from Amazon yesterday bearing in it the very important book I ordered.

Natural Childbirth the Bradley Way. Mmm hmmm.

I snuggled up next to Hubby on the couch and we propped it open.

Me: "this book is much shorter than I expected" . . . Flips page "holy crap!" There is a picture of a completely naked woman and her topless, shoeless hubs helping her in labor.

Hubby: "wow, those are some nipples! If you thought your nipples were big they have nothing on these!"

Me: "Why is she totally naked? Why is he topless? Why did he forget his shirt but has on a gold chain? You can't wear shirts to a natural birth?"

Hubby: "I'm going naked to our child's birth."

Me: "no you're not."

Hubby: "Why? You don't like it when I'm naked?"

Me: "I definitely don't want to look at your balls the whole time I'm in labor. No one else wants to either."

Hubby: "That's mean."

Me: "No it's not. Turn the page."

Hubby: "women have been doing this for thousands of years. We can figure this out."

Me: "We are reading this book or I'm not doing this and that's final. I'm going to the bathroom."

Hubby: flips back a few pages "I seriously can't stop looking at these nipples."

Me: "Stop!"

Osh man came rushing out of the office. "no Daddy, you top it right now. Top it!" yep, that's my boy.

Maybe I should just schedule a csection.

Tid Bits

The other morning, Osh man ran into my room and yelled "Good morning! I love you Mommy!" in the most dramatic fashion. So. super. awesome.

Our house is not selling. Not to mention it's super old and hotter than Hell outdoors so half of our house is sinking into the ground due to the dryness. Yeah, let's just plan on it selling NEVER, blech!

We were watching the Teen Choice Awards and Ian Somerholder came on. Peanut was sitting on Hubby's lap and I said that I think guys with dark hair and light eyes are so sexy, that's why I had to kiss Daddy and marry him. She looked at me and said "you no kiss my daddy." This is the second time she has said that! Little stinker. I can't wait until her brother gets a girlfriend someday, that is going to be hilarious!

Hubby and I are shooting for a natural birth this time around. If you don't recall, my c-section ended in blood vomitting, years of healing (my scar still burns) and that combo of meds made me feel so confused that I don't remember lots of things about those days and I want to have a different experience. We were looking up Bradley method books to buy online last night. Hubby so kindly told me that he thinks he will be okay without reading it because he has seen it so much on TV. Uhhh . . . . . I told him if I am looking to him for comfort in a moment of pain to help me and he wings something because he saw it on TV one time I am going to kick his balls off. He has now agreed to read the books, ha!

One of my kids at work asked me if I had done something with my hair because it looked really nice. I told him I had just brushed it before coming to work. "You don't normally brush your hair?" I said nope. He said "awesome." I'm so glad there are people who appreciate my sloppiness, even if they only happen to be in 5th grade.

I'm very satisfied with this season of Bachelor Pad. It's dramarific!

So, even though I'm pregnant, I find other pregnant women to be rather annoying. I know, weird, right? All the whining and the desperation for attention is just a little silly. A few people have asked if I'm having a second shower and I don't find it a priority. I had a friend offer and said we could discuss it later. I do not believe that if I don't have one that equals we are not celebrating this child's life. First of all, no fetus gives a shit if you have a party for it. If your child grows up and gets upset because they have found out you never had a shower for him or her and that child needs therapy, you know you have raised a child with some bizarre entitlement issues. Honestly, pre-birth baby showers are for the mother. I loved my shower for the twins, but the sun will not rise and set on having another one. If no one on this earth cared that I am having this third precious nugget, I do not care. I have children because I love children, I love my family and I have always wanted to be a mommy. Is that weird? I guess it is, but I'm cool with being weird. I threw a shower for a friend on her third child because she really wanted one and I was happy to oblige. I just don't get when people bitch about it, like everyone hates them because they aren't having a second, third, fourth child shower.

This will be a shock, but I do have friends in real life! Woo hoo! One of them just started a blog about meal planning that she does as a working mom. I find cooking at the end of my work day to be cruel and unusual punishment, but soon I will be on maternity leave and making zero dollars, so when I'm not eating ramen noodles I am going to try some of these recipes! Check it out: lucysdiner.wordpress.com

HOW TO ENJOY THE iPAD ACCORDING TO THE TWINS

1. Take off your pants



2. Climb in the window sill




3. Enjoy!