A package arrived from Amazon yesterday bearing in it the very important book I ordered.
Natural Childbirth the Bradley Way. Mmm hmmm.
I snuggled up next to Hubby on the couch and we propped it open.
Me: "this book is much shorter than I expected" . . . Flips page "holy crap!" There is a picture of a completely naked woman and her topless, shoeless hubs helping her in labor.
Hubby: "wow, those are some nipples! If you thought your nipples were big they have nothing on these!"
Me: "Why is she totally naked? Why is he topless? Why did he forget his shirt but has on a gold chain? You can't wear shirts to a natural birth?"
Hubby: "I'm going naked to our child's birth."
Me: "no you're not."
Hubby: "Why? You don't like it when I'm naked?"
Me: "I definitely don't want to look at your balls the whole time I'm in labor. No one else wants to either."
Hubby: "That's mean."
Me: "No it's not. Turn the page."
Hubby: "women have been doing this for thousands of years. We can figure this out."
Me: "We are reading this book or I'm not doing this and that's final. I'm going to the bathroom."
Hubby: flips back a few pages "I seriously can't stop looking at these nipples."
Osh man came rushing out of the office. "no Daddy, you top it right now. Top it!" yep, that's my boy.
Maybe I should just schedule a csection.