Saturday, August 4, 2012

Maturity Issues

A package arrived from Amazon yesterday bearing in it the very important book I ordered.

Natural Childbirth the Bradley Way. Mmm hmmm.

I snuggled up next to Hubby on the couch and we propped it open.

Me: "this book is much shorter than I expected" . . . Flips page "holy crap!" There is a picture of a completely naked woman and her topless, shoeless hubs helping her in labor.

Hubby: "wow, those are some nipples! If you thought your nipples were big they have nothing on these!"

Me: "Why is she totally naked? Why is he topless? Why did he forget his shirt but has on a gold chain? You can't wear shirts to a natural birth?"

Hubby: "I'm going naked to our child's birth."

Me: "no you're not."

Hubby: "Why? You don't like it when I'm naked?"

Me: "I definitely don't want to look at your balls the whole time I'm in labor. No one else wants to either."

Hubby: "That's mean."

Me: "No it's not. Turn the page."

Hubby: "women have been doing this for thousands of years. We can figure this out."

Me: "We are reading this book or I'm not doing this and that's final. I'm going to the bathroom."

Hubby: flips back a few pages "I seriously can't stop looking at these nipples."

Me: "Stop!"

Osh man came rushing out of the office. "no Daddy, you top it right now. Top it!" yep, that's my boy.

Maybe I should just schedule a csection.



  1. I heard lots of hospitals won't let you do natural birth if you already had a c-section. Or are you planning on doing it at home?? either way.. good luck ;)

  2. Awww...her hair is getting so long! Too cute!

  3. haha. "I don't want to look at your balls the whole time I'm in labor." too funny!!

  4. Just saying Hi. Ive been reading your posts a long time.. like since the babies were born (ahhh stalker...) But just started following since I blog now too. Congrats on the new baby!!

  5. OMG, i know EXACTLY which picture you are talking about!!!!!!!!!!!! We had that book. Why they haven't update the pictures since the free-lovin' 60s, I don't know. Isn't it weird how everyone was so much skinnier back then, too?
    I begged DH to attend the birth in short shorts and a gold chain but he wouldn't do it.

  6. I'm cracking up b/c there's a set of nipples that I remember from one of our birthing books. They were memorable...even 7 years later!!!!!

    And that conversation---totally sounds like something that would go down here at our house too.


    1. PS: We called them "goat titties." So wrong, I know....but sooooo fitting.

  7. This post made me laugh out loud! Love those random convos!


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