Friday, January 11, 2013

The Sibling Adjustment

I started getting worried about the twins in my last week of pregnancy. I worried about how they would feel and how the adjustment would go, but selfishly I worried if they would be mad at me or not. I really didn't want that.

When I dropped them off at my grandparents to go to L&D, I didn't actually think we would end up having baby that night. I truly believed that I would be walking in for that csection on the 19th. Osh man wasn't even awake and I told Peanut I'd be back in a little bit. I totally lied.

The first time they came to the hospital, they were emotional basketcases. They had no idea what was going on. I was in bed and there was a new baby and it was so weird. They only wanted Hubby, which sucked. They wanted nothing to do with the baby and would come near me only to ride my adjustable hospital bed.

The next time they came to the hospital, they threw a few tantrums. I felt so incredibly guilty. I am not one of those people who think conceiving a child is a special gift to a sibling. Not that I don't enjoy my siblings, but if you are going to have a baby I'm not sure that's a reason I can sympathize with. We had Nash because we wanted to have a baby and I knew that might not automatically be something exciting for the twins so the guilt of doing something for myself and it being upsetting to them was pretty intense. I tried not to cry because that would scare them. Osh man's tantrums were the worst. I took Peanut out for a walk with me. We filled up my water and we counted the rectangles on the floor tiles and went to see if they had put Nash's name up on the window. Still, there was no interest in baby.

The first day we got home and the twins came home from my grandparents was hard. Osh said "you brought that baby home with you?" Yep, sorry dude, the change is permanent. He tried figuring things out and he was running around with a bottle of breast milk. When he was asked to not play with it he completely lost it. Screaming and running and hitting the walls and the floor. I did the best I could again, and just started bawling like a baby. I felt terrible for him and didn't know what we would do or how I could make this up to them or make it work for us all. I fell in love with Nash instantly and I was hoping they would too, even though I know that was silly to expect from a pair of two year old's.

Things got better though really quickly. Every time they took interest in the baby or did something nice for them we showered them with positive attention. They started enjoying helping by giving me diapers or holding my boob or the bottle to help (the boob is a little awkward but it is what it is). Baby just sits around and sleeps and eats, he doesn't take their stuff or do anything offensive towards them. Another thing that helps is that they equated mommy being home all the time with baby and they are really happy with that. I thought they would miss daycare and we should try to find a way to afford while I am on leave, but they absolutely love being home all day (I'm sure that will make going back to daycare real awesome, not).

A few days after we had been home I was doing some things downstairs. I went up and Hubby was laying in the center of the bed, the twins were laying with him and then there was Nash, only in a diaper in a pile of my family in all 8 lbs of his little pot bellied glory. My whole family, together and satisfied and looking exactly how I dreamed it would look. Yep, I cried a little. You can see that is a common theme around here.

The twins were building "sandcastles" with pillows on my bed and Nash was laying there yesterday. Osh man leaned over and said "no, he cute. I love him." WIN!!

So it's worked out just fine. Nash did pull Peanut's hair for the first time today though so it may be all downhill really quickly . . . . .




  1. Love love love love love those photos!!! You have such gorgeous kiddos!!!

  2. I'm so glad they are "accepting" the new baby now ;)
    Those picss are awesome!


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