Potty Training Sucks and Rocks At the Same Time

The twins are about to be three. I will be completely honest here and say . . . I baby the crap out of them. I can admit it. I know it's wrong, but I just keep doing it, like how I know it's wrong to eat a whole box of Swiss Rolls in a day but I do it anyway because it feels good. I have problems.

After a week of changing three kids in diapers, one of which eats like a grown man and has man sized poops, I decided this just cannot go on!

I started potty training. We have dabbled in it for months but after a couple nasty poops on the floor or in clothes we go straight back to diapers. This is how it went for a week. I wanted some advice and a lot of people said to just let it go until things get more under control in my house. Obviously I am not sleeping all night and we are adjusting to me being on maternity leave and it's a little exhausting. Never mind, it's a TON exhausting. I took it as a relief and eased up.

But then after a day of changing a bunch of diapers and realizing that my kids know what they are doing because when my daughter wants a chocolate out of the treat jar she magically takes off her diaper and goes potty in the potty I know they are ready and just playing me because they know I will baby them. Weird how that happens.

So I decided . . .f$%^ this. I'm the mom. This twins ARE getting potty trained. Period. I know I won't get any naps in the day and I know I will be cleaning up feces off of random areas of my home but I am going to do this.

We started out naked and going to the potty every 15 minutes. That worked okay. We did a variety of things that didn't work at all for about a week. Every afternoon they ended up in diapers. The next week Peanut woke up and took off her own diaper and went pee in the potty. I gave her a ton of attention and a gummy worm. Osh wanted in on that action so he did the same. I refused to let them in their diapers for any reason. We did not leave the house. We were all about the potty.

By the end of the week, the twins were pretty much day trained! They each have about one accident a day and there is no consistency, it's sometimes poop and sometime's pee but for the rest of the day it is all undies and body fluids in the toilet. It's still tough and I have to be on them all day to go to the potty, although they also tell me when they have to go. They started getting a treat each time they went potty and now we are phasing that out and they just get lots of attention and an occasional treat and hopefully soon going potty in the potty will just be business as usual. They are resisting that a lot and want a treat every time to them so I do what any great parent would do and lie and tell them we don't have any.

They also can't go to the potty in public. They have accidents every time we leave. We have had one outing where Peanut didn't have an accident but Osh had two and one outing that was very brief that Peanut had an accident but Osh didn't. Poop accidents are the nastiest. They do the best when naked for some reason too, once we put on undies they are way more likely to have accidents.

Moral of the story: Potty training is gross. It's tedious. It's a lot of work and I'm lazy, therefore it sucks. But now I only change one pair of diapers a day from them in the morning (we aren't doing night training yet) and then Butterball's diapers. No more man turds in a diaper. No more buying several packs of diapers at Target for a small fortune. No more wiping a row of butts every few hours. And that my friends, totally rocks.

They sometimes fight over the big potty. I was a little tired of it the other day and told them I will be in the bathroom in ten seconds and if it wasn't worked out they were going to be in trouble. The above photo is what they worked out.

One downside of potty training is that they are very aware of the bathroom and all the glorious activities to be found in it. Like playing in the sink. Or stuffing all kinds of items in the toilet. I have been elbow deep in toilet water twice in the last week. It's not cool.

Friday Phone Dump

1. We had a HUGE snow in our area. Over a foot! This never happens! When we heard the snow was coming in my Grandma picked up a sled and I hoped the weather people weren't getting ahead of themselves as usual. They weren't! This kids thought being dragged around in a sled was amazing and hilarious. Osh man ate his weight in snow.

2. The Butterball had his two month check up. He was such a good boy. I hated holding him down for his shots but we did it and he recovered quickly. He weighed in at a whopping 13 lbs. 12 oz!

3. I turned 29 on Valentine's day. I made myself the cupcakes I have had since I was a wee one, which are strawberry flavored with pink icing. My mom made them in heart shapes but I did not do that. Osh man was kind enough to decorate them with his macaroni and cheese and clementine's.

4. If you didn't know this, I'm a wuss. Whenever the hubs is out of town I CANNOT sleep in my house alone. My husband is not a violent man and he doesn't wake up when a baby is screaming in his ear in the night so I doubt he would wake up to a murderer creeping through the house, but I just can't do it. So this is my grandparent's guest bed with Peanut and the Butterball sleeping with me.

5. All three of my little's first bath together! That sounds kind of creepy when I type it out, but I thought it was cool at the time.

The Big Question

After we had the twins, NO ONE ever asked us if we were going to have more kids. Not even once. Ever. Maybe it was because so many people knew of our struggles and didn't think I would be psycho enough to walk down that shitty road again. Maybe because we had two kids and reproducing at the replacement rate is the best thing for society. Maybe it was because people think having twins is crazy so why do it again? Maybe it was because we had the "million dollar family," a boy and girl, no need to mess with that. I don't know.

Now that Butterball is here, everyone and their mama asks us if we plan on having more. And if they don't say it so nicely, they say " this is the last one right?" It's like uterus gone wild up in here, having three kids. I'm out of control y'all!

Here is the answer that I give everyone so as to stop the conversation in it's tracks because this is in the NACHO category (as in, nacho business, not your business): No! We are done!

Here is the real answer: I don't know for sure. The hubs has brought it up quite a bit. He talked a lot about getting a vasectomy while I was pregnant. I don't like the idea, but they are his balls and if he feels really confident and happy with that decision I would support him and that would be that. He has changed his mind. I have no idea where I stand. I am definitely on birth control now and plan on maybe getting the new type of IUD that is coming out in a few months (smaller and less hormones than the Mirena, but no pills, sounds fun, no?). I would not consider having another baby on purpose while living in our small home or until the twins are in Kindergarten or while my hubby is still in school and hubby will not consider more kids after 40 years old, which is in less than 5 years from now. After the twins, I was so sure I didn't want anymore kids that I wanted to give our embryo up for adoption and I would have if hubby wasn't against it. Then when I thought of that embie I wanted another baby badly. Now I have one. I love him so much and he is so perfect. I have three perfect kids. And I am tired as hell. That's what I know for today.

One thing I know for sure is that I will not be in a RE's office doing IVF. That is an absolute no. I don't know if something changed in me or if we were struck by conception lightning with the butterball, but it makes no difference. I don't like who I am when I am at the end of my rope, spending all the money we have, being pumped full of hormones hoping for a dream to come true that I don't have much control over. I have big plans for us, none of which include that emotional and physical trauma again.

That's the story. I doubt we will be the Duggar's. Other than that, I have no answers for the inquiring minds. Sorry folks.

Fake It Til You Make It

I'm getting to the exhaustion point of new mamahood where you just want some sleep! Butterball slept from 11-6 one night last week and I was so thrilled. Unfortunately that was a one time deal and I spent that night getting sick for a few hours so it was a huge bummer. No matter how you got to motherhood, sleep deprivation can put a hurt on the best of them! It's been almost 8 weeks since my last good night of sleep while I went home to sleep when Butterball was in the hospital and hubby took over for a night. I'm super tired.

The twins are hitting the three's. Everyone has told me the three's are worse than the two's. No way, I thought. I work with little kids and three year old's are adorable. All those people were totally right though. They are now smart enough to figure out how to be just the right amount of ornery to drive me a little bonkers. They are great with the baby, but testing the waters in every other arena that they can. I don't even want to tell you about the tantrums and whining in case you are a mother of a baby, you will be afraid.

Sleep deprivation sucks, on top of no hope for a nap because my kids don't nap. I tried to tell them that mommy is so super tired, please let mommy sleep and stay out of the bathrooms and kitchen. As soon as I would drift off I would hear water running in the bathroom, the fridge door opening, bang, boom and crashes upstairs so I gave it up and never tried again.

But I see the Butterball and I see the twins. When the twins were tiny smooshy babies I just wanted them to get bigger so they would sleep and I wouldn't be crazy. I am going to say that cliche thing all moms say . . .  it goes by too fast! I wish I could have enjoyed them a little bit more, so I am not going to let this time pass so fast with Butterball and also with the twins. They might be crazy and defiant, but they are pretty hilarious these days and watching them figure things out is interesting.

I decided I am just going to fake it 'til I make it! Even though I am exhausted and just want sleep so bad, whenever I am getting into that mindset that I can't make it ten more minutes with these three littles if I don't sleep or get a babysitter or drop one of them off at the fire station for safe keeping, I remind myself that I am so lucky. Yes, it's cheesy. I shake my head and say that I am so lucky to have three healthy kids who are smart and beautiful and all mine. If some a-hole would have told me to do that before I would have laughed in their face, but it is actually working really well! I find myself sometimes smiling and laughing in the night looking at Butterball's cuteness. It stops me from yelling when the twins are slamming doors or peeing on the floor and I do feel so lucky.

I started last week and it's been a big change actually. I have lost a few pounds since Friday. The twins and I have been potty training because I feel like I have the energy and patience. We went and joined the gym yesterday and I got all three of them out of the house myself! Even though it's only been a few days I feel like we are faking it less and making it more and things are starting to flow again. I don't do well on lack of sleep but I have been able to surprise myself. I am taking care of three little kids, doing a little cleaning (emphasis on the little), starting to work out and cooking. It feels good!

And really, when I concentrate on the Butterball when he is crying or waking up a lot, how can you not feel lucky? I mean, look at him! He is precious! His pouty lips and button nose and double chin and fuzzy head. I can't get enough of him. He smells delicious. Peanut is such a good helper with him and it melts my heart to see her kiss him and love him and help out like a little lady, not a two year old. Me being lucky isn't fake, but feeling lucky to be woken up in the night or cleaning poop off the hardwoods while Osh tried to tell me that Butterball did it is a new one. This morning Osh man said "I love my my mommy, I love my Nash, I love my sissy and I love my daddy." Best feeling ever, sleep deprivation and all.

On Breastfeeding

I decided well before the butterball arrived that I was going to give it my all with breastfeeding this time. This may come as a shock because I have never really been that interested in the whole breastfeeding thing and even become annoyed at women who constantly talk about it like they are doing everyone on earth a favor. What was the change this time around? To be honest there is one main reason.

It's free.

I know it's not free exactly, but I borrowed my sister in law's pump and I don't need any meds to keep up with my supply so all I needed to purchase that I wouldn't have to purchase with formula is storage bags for leftover milk. I am poor and cheap so free is good.

The next reason:

It burns calories better than an intense hour long workout, which I do not have time for anyway.

Basically this should tell you that I am not touchy feely about it and it's all business.

Well . . . . . .  .

It turns out I have become touchy feely about it. I like it. I enjoy it. Is that weird? A shock? I like looking down at the butterball while he looks up at me or falls asleep on me while I hold his little hands. I like knowing that all his chub came from me. You can see he isn't missing any meals.



I also love not pumping in the night and just feeding him and falling asleep. I can literally just roll over and shove my boob in his mouth.

It hasn't really been perfect though. You would think it wouldn't be too bad, the cavemen obviously figured it out because we are all still roaming the earth and they didn't have any formula. Butterball lost 9% of his birth weight so we were put on alert that we would need to supplement ASAP if it didn't kick into gear soon. Pumping helped a lot and I was able to put all the weight back on him and then some in the recommended amount of time. Those first few weeks tore my nipples a new one. That didn't happen from only pumping for the twins like I did last time. They were bloody. I have had mastitis twice. Full blown mastitis with fever, chills, body aches and painful boobies. I have a fast flow so the butterball chokes on my milk which means I have to pump more than I'd like, but the doctor said when he gets older it will even out.

With those roadblocks in place it has surprised me that Butterball still hasn't even had one little taste of formula. At this point my last go round I was so completely ready to be done and this time I am still good! Not only am I good, but I have over 200 oz in the freezer!

 

I have set my first goal to be 3 months and I really think I'll make it! The next one will be six. I am worried about him growing teeth and biting me, but if I could make it to a year I'd like to. That's in a long time. Will I be able to do it? I guess we will find out!

The one thing that I wish I could do but just don't feel comfortable with is nursing in public. My fun bags are giant and I really don't think anyone needs to see them nor would I feel comfortable with them being out. At this point we don't leave the house much but it would be nice if nursing would be easier as I don't really plan on nursing on a toilet. I don't even pee sitting on public toilets, I put down tp and then still squat so I really doubt I would feed my baby in there. As it is, I put a pumped bottle into my cleavage so that it's boob temp and ready to go. I'm not sure what will happen when he is older. I tried nursing him at my in laws in their living room and it felt awkward so I put a blanket over myself and butterball and he did not like that. I'm not sure what the future holds in that arena but I really hope to keep up with nursing him, not making any trips to the store for formula is muy bueno.