Mom's Over Chicks (For Now)

Hubby surprised me on a Friday night by saying he really felt like going to the mall. Trust me, that is weird. We aren't big shoppers these days anyhow but it was fun to go out and do something all together. We did our usual round of stores, food, then play area.

Osh man is not into people or kids. He likes his space. He tells me all the time that he doesn't like friends and he doesn't want to make friends. When we go places Ever has become a major social butterfly. Her main goal is to make some friends to play with.

Shockingly, the hubs and I looked over and two little girls were playing with Ocean. This is the second time that some girls have been googily eyed over my boy. The first was a precious moment when a little girl just kept staring at him smiling. She finally asked his name, to which he replied "I don't bemember" and rolled his eyes. I told her his name is Ocean. She said "oooh, that is a so handsome name." Shut up, it's a true story and it was so cute I almost died.

This time was a whole different ballgame. The two girls were chasing him all around. Thankfully he was smiling. Finally, one of the little girls bowed the other little girl, got a lead, and grabbed Osh by the hand and walked all over the play area with him. My jaw about hit the floor. Hubby was laughing, mostly at me. Osh got loose and went running again. I stood up and he ran to me and said "pick me up!" I picked him up so the little girl ran off.

Hold on to your tissues for what happened next.

Osh grabbed my cheeks and looked me in the face. He said "thanks Mom, I needed that."

I know.

This and That

Wow, I blogged one time in November and it was about Halloween.

Here is the rundown:

- Blogging is hard even though it shouldn't be because I don't have a day job. Sometimes I have to pay attention to my kids. Sometimes I have to clean my house. The butterball LOVES turning the computer on and off mid important computer tasks. And have I ever mentioned how slow my internet it? It's super slow. This is a combination for no blogging ever.

- Our life is boring, in a wonderful way that I couldn't be happier about. When people say "it's the little things" that basically describes our life. Coloring. Building forts. Snuggles. Making messes. Waiting patiently once a week to watch the trash truck come by (the trash man waved at the kids today, that was a BIG deal).

- The butterball turns one in less than two weeks. What . . . the . . . *beep*. How did this happen? He was just born! It really crept up on me. I am F- mom because I planned the twins first birthday for months and I haven't done anything for his yet. We are just having family over. I am going to find a way to make it special, albeit small, and last minute.

- Our house is still on the market. I can't describe how ridiculous it is trying to have a "show ready" house when there are three messy nuggets inhabiting it every second of the day. We use our weight in Magic Erasers.

- I am working a part time job. It's fun for the most part. It's nice to get out of the house and hang with other adults. I would prefer to do that for fun but you know, student loans. They're a bitch.

- The twins are really full of it these days. They are so funny. They are great at playing pretend and come up with some whoppers. Peanut loves to mother her baby brother. Osh loves to go outside alone for a long time and do boy things. Watching them go from babies to people is the strangest thing I have ever done, but also the coolest.

- I'm still super chubby post baby,  but I am having a hard time finding the motivation to care about it. So I bought bigger clothes and moved on. I am still breast feeding and would love to have smaller boobs though, these things are out of control.

- Hubby and I are doing our best with each other. He works full time, goes to college and also does extra work. I work and he watches the kids evening and weekends. If I am not working he is doing his extra work. Basically, we never see each other. It's tough.

That's it. Boring.

Phone Dump Friday: Halloween Party Edition

I LOVE Halloween! We had a party at our casa this year to add in an extra day of dressing up, plus I have been itching for some type of creative outlet for all the crap I pin on Pinterest.

1. I'm a zombie obsessed freak since Walking Dead came out and it turned out to be an amazing show. I found this pack of zombie's at the dollar store and knew they would be perfect for eating the brains of my romantic couple dancing in the dining room. They are flanked by a pack of Martha Stewart bat cut outs.

Me: Look husband, it doesn't pay to be romantic during the zombie apocalypse.
Hubby: That's my woman, a few french fries short of a happy meal.
Ocean: Those are yucky mommy's.

2. I put some skeleton twins in the bathtub covered in a cobweb bath with bath toys. I told the twins to go into the bathroom and see who was having a bath in their tub. They thought it was hilarious. They told lots of people "hey, go into our bath and see who is in there." Some kids were scared though. Oops!

3. Evil donuts! This was so easy, two dozen pumpkin donuts from Dunkin, frosting eyes and the .99 vampire teeth from Walmart. The teeth were busting the donuts open so I ended up cutting them in half and then putting them in the donuts and worked much better.

4. Dirt cake graveyard. The dirt cake is so good, it tastes like mousse because it's not just pudding, but butter, cream cheese, and powdered sugar as well. I wrote RIP in frosting on english tea cookies, threw in some ghost peeps and plastic skeletons and it was a big hit. It was definitely all eaten  by the time everyone went home.

Adventuring

I took full advantage of the fact that it is summertime and I don't work full time and we took an almost four week adventure!

First, the twins, Nash and I went on a road trip with my Mom. We drove for halfway to Colorado and stayed in a hotel. The twins will go anywhere that has a pool and they were thrilled to get some swimming in. The twins will also go anywhere that has a movie they can watch, so they are awesome road trippers as long as the DVD's are rolling. Nash isn't really thrilled with car rides, but he did pretty okay.

We then went up to visit my aunt who lives in the mountains. The twins were in LOVE. The smell and the trees and the mystery of the woods, they couldn't get enough. We visited family and had a lot of fun eating and playing and exploring.

Denver was the next stop on our list. We visited another friend, got to meet up with another infertile friend and relaxed. I also stopped by my mother ship that calls from all over, IKEA. I love that cheap mecca of bright and shiney home goods.

Our last road trip stop was to a family reunion. Before we even arrived, I could tell the kids were over it. Ocean even asked if we were going to be going home yet. Each day was long because they were exhausted and ready to be done. Finally, we made our way back home and road trip was over!

Party animals!

 

We were at home for a few days before we boarded a plane to Florida to visit my parents! We spent those few days in our PJ's, but we were super excited for the next adventure.

My kids are super awesome on the plane so it was no problemo. The kids loved the beach. They could not get enough, our last day we dragged them crying from the ocean. They waded in all the way up to their necks without floaties and went swimming as if they had been doing this for ages. I was a little emotional about this. I love the ocean (duh) and seeing my three babes enjoying it to pieces was too amazing.

Since we were a few hours away and we are road warriors anyway, we decided to take the plunge and visit Magic Kingdom. Again, I cried when we pulled up because this was on my bucket list way back when: take my kids to Disney World. I was worried that they might be too young and it was scary for my cheap ass because good Lord, people, that place costs an arm and a leg. My parents and brother went and we had a fabulous time! We rode all the rides we wanted to and the kids had a fabulous time.

Daddy and his Princess

Now we are home and living our regular life. I must say this was the most fun I have had in forever and I felt truly blessed to get to go and do all those things. I'm not sure how to top it next summer, but I better start planning now!

Just An Average Trip to the Mall

I really need bras for my giganto boobs so I decided I could do it, we could all head out to the mall. Let me bullet point the excitement for you.

• We went in one store. Osh man took off running, which he always does in stores, seeing those wide open spaces. He was everywhere so fast I finally caught him and told him to get back in the stroller, freedom over until the next store.
• We got to the next store and he saw all the bras and spread his arms wide like Maria frolicking on the mountainside in "Sound of Music" and said "BOOBIES! Boobies evywhere!!" This got the attention of the person working there. She helped me find bras. As I was checking out, she said, "oh yeah, he has put some stuff from here in your stroller." I hadn't even noticed, so I thanked her and we pulled it all out. We found several pieces that weren't from that store! SHITBALLS! He stole a bunch of jewelry from store #1.
• We went back to store #1 and I left all the stolen jewelry at the counter. We went to the next store and I realized this would never work out so we went to eat lunch. We got all of our lunch to the table, were halfway done when both of them started saying "I need to pee. My pee pee is coming out. I have to pee right now." 
• I decided I wasn't going to get to eat lunch so I put their lunch in the stroller. I was carrying N in a carrier and he was asleep. We went to a department store that had a family bathroom so we could all fit in there. They each went pee and then got back in the stroller to eat their lunch. I smelled something foul. Butterball had taken a giant dump all over the place, his clothes and everything. 
• I got the Butterball naked and cleaned up while the twins ate their lunch, IN A BATHROOM. He had no spare outfit. I took him, in his diaper, through the department store to buy a new outfit. I found one on clearance but didn't love it so I put it on the stroller. I then found a cute on sale outfit and bought it, while standing with my naked baby in a store. I got him dressed and we went to the play area.
• The kids were dying to ride the carousel but the person was on break so after they almost had a tantrum I derailed them with the play area. They ran and jumped and had a good old time. We got on the carousel when the person returned from their lunch break. Osh man insisted on riding the tea cup. That's cool with me, but then the lady says I have to ride with him. I ride in a carousel that is going round and round while I was also spinning round and round. Barf city!
• We got off and happily trotted over to our stroller to load up. Hanging there was the first outfit from the department store. Not only had my son stolen things today, I did too! We returned to that store and I prayed that I wasn't about to get arrested for returning the second stroller related theft operation we had going on that day. The item was returned. Osh asked to get out of the stroller and I said NO WAY! We are out of here. 
• The hermit crab stand necessitated a stop. The kids were thrilled with the different shells. One thing did go right.
• We went to visit my grandparents, which was nice.

Finally, it was time to go home. I needed a nap like the desert needs rain but I told them we could go swimming once we got home. Osh looked at me while rubbing his eyes and said "Mommy, did you know that I am not tired, not even at all?" Of course not.

As Hubby says, "the sun shines on a dog's ass every now and then." And that's what happened then. The wild man fell sound asleep and then it started raining. Yay. Thank you Universe for small miracles.

No more trips to the mall for us anytime soon!

Nash carefully observing bad behavior.

Observation: bad behavior looks awesome!

A Little Soul Melting For Your Wednesday

We were all playing around in my room. Wrestling, doing laundry, loving on the baby, playing pretend, just hanging out.

Osh man put a pillow next to the baby and grabbed his hand.

"I'm going to space Nashy boy," he said, "take my hand and we'll do it together."

Love.

Travel with Three Under Three

We recently made a 2.5  hour plane ride away trip to visit family for a wedding for a week. My first major perk of not working anymore was that normally I am the last to arrive and the first one to leave vacations due to work time. This time I got two days of travel plus five days of vacation. That has been so rare in my life the last time was while I was on maternity leave with the twins.

I am proud to announce that I packed all of our stuff for seven days time into only two checked bags. I put all their outfits together ahead of time into separate ziploc bags (thank you pinterest) and stayed up on laundry while gone. For the plane each twin took their own bag that had a blanket, their Kindle with new movies on it, headphones, a bag of special snacks and a clipboard that had paper, stickers and markers attached. They were very well behaved. I also took my purse, my breastpump supplies and also a diaper backpack with Butterball's bottles, a change of clothes just in case for each child, diapers and my own snacks.

For security purposes, I put all liquid items separate so I could easily pull it out without anyone running away.  I also did not bring their carseats to install in the seats. I know that is a sanctimommy no no, but I really can't imagine hauling all three of the seats through, plus Butterball was a lap child anyway.

Everyone told me not to bring our BOB stroller or our other stroller, it's too much hassle. This was my biggest mistake. Have you tried walking with two slow, easily distracted toddlers through an airport? It was no bueno.

I must say, everyone did awesome! The twins have always been such good travelers I have been waiting for it to bite me in the butt one day or I thought for sure the Butterball would be my bad traveler but he did great too.

Another thing to remember is to expect the unexpected. On our way home, we got their about an hour and a half early and checked in at the curb. Another family was travelling overseas and there were 7 of them and all of their bags were overweight and it screwed up everyone else, it took forever to get them sorted out! We hauled to the security line which was also out of control. Once we got through that we made a bee line to gate which seemed like miles away. We got all the way there and our flight was delayed by an hour. We laughed it off and decided this was a great opportunity to feed the kids because they were hungry. My grandpa went to get something to eat and while he was there they made an announcement that our gate changed clear out of the terminal we were in. We were all so tired! I got a wheelchair, put the baby in a wrap and we went on our way. For some reason we crossed path's with my grandpa and didn't see him so I took all the bags while my grandma went to help him with the lunch. I looked ridiculous! The baby was started to sag and people were staring. A very kind little old lady came and helped me all the way to our gate. All of this made me really wish we had shown up two hours ahead of time instead of one. I even made fun of my sister for getting to the airport so early, but now I'm going to have to eat crow because I wish I did too!

We got to the gate and ate. Ocean had a tantrum and then they both decided they needed to pee. We went to the bathroom and got all sorted out. I had pull ups on over their undies just in case so that took some maneuvering. Osh started freaking out so I looked down and there was his monkey swirling around in the airport toilet! Osh is very serious about his stuffed animals so I stuck my hand down in that nasty thing and pulled monkey out. He got a harcore scrubbing with soap in the sink and I wrapped him in paper towels and assured him that we would throw him in the laundry at home and he would be good as new. I felt a moment of panic, but then laughed seeing that stupid monkey swimming in the airport toilet. Gross. And funny. We can't even go to the bathroom without shenanigans.

That's the way we roll! I had initially booked this trip to go by myself and now I am so very thankful that my grandparents came along for an extra set of hands. I think I would have ended up in a bathroom stall crying my eyes out if they hadn't. Or possibly on the news. I will say that I am so happy with how the kids do on the plane though. I am super fortunate for that. There was a woman in front of us with a child who was out of control and loud and this lady next to her was so rude. I felt terrible for her (and thanked my lucky stars that wasn't me).

Airplane pics!

Friday Phone Dump

1. We had a HUGE snow in our area. Over a foot! This never happens! When we heard the snow was coming in my Grandma picked up a sled and I hoped the weather people weren't getting ahead of themselves as usual. They weren't! This kids thought being dragged around in a sled was amazing and hilarious. Osh man ate his weight in snow.

2. The Butterball had his two month check up. He was such a good boy. I hated holding him down for his shots but we did it and he recovered quickly. He weighed in at a whopping 13 lbs. 12 oz!

3. I turned 29 on Valentine's day. I made myself the cupcakes I have had since I was a wee one, which are strawberry flavored with pink icing. My mom made them in heart shapes but I did not do that. Osh man was kind enough to decorate them with his macaroni and cheese and clementine's.

4. If you didn't know this, I'm a wuss. Whenever the hubs is out of town I CANNOT sleep in my house alone. My husband is not a violent man and he doesn't wake up when a baby is screaming in his ear in the night so I doubt he would wake up to a murderer creeping through the house, but I just can't do it. So this is my grandparent's guest bed with Peanut and the Butterball sleeping with me.

5. All three of my little's first bath together! That sounds kind of creepy when I type it out, but I thought it was cool at the time.

Smart A$$

My son is a total smart a-word.

He is my loviest boy, but he also never stops talking. This leads to him saying some unfortunate things.

Me: "Stop flinging that toy around in the backseat, you are going to hurt your sissy."

O: "You just drive, okay mom?"

WTF?

***

Me: "It's time to go to school honey." He was standing in the doorway of the playroom.

O: "No way mom." Slams door in my face.

***

They had built a huge pile of towels to jump into from the couch.

Me: "That looks fun!"

O: "Sorry mom, you too big."

***

Me: "As soon as this baby comes out, I'm going to have some booze."

O: "No you not have boons mommy! You don't have that!"

Peanut; "No you not, bones are for doggy's."

O: "Yeah, bones for doggy's"

***

I was in the shower and Osh man came up to check it out.

O: "Mommy, you in the shower?"

Me: "Yes I am." I turned off the water and opened the shower door. He picked up my towel and handed it to me.

O: "Here your white towel Mom. Dry your boobies, okay?"

***

He was running around smacking a hanger as hard as he could into the couch. I told him to stop that right now, put it down, it is not safe to do that.

O: "I not mack this okay? I put it down. I not mack it."

Me: "Thank you honey."

I walked upstairs, heard the hanger hit the couch again and him yell "MACK!" and him and his partner in crime laughing loudly.

I'm so screwed.

*********

A few weeks back we embarked on a new activity that the nuggets and myself have never tried before . . . the drive in movie!

There were a lot of awesome parts:

1. Our whole car went in for $20. They were showing Ice Age and Dark Knight Rises. Two movies, four people, $20? Awesome!

2. We packed a picnic for dinner and snacks of our own. And by packed a picnic I mean we drove through Sonic. Cherry limeade anyone? We pulled out a big blanket and ate and hung out while waiting for the movie. Even though we brought our own stuff, they had popcorn there, made with REAL butter. REAL. Yummo.

3. There was a playground that the kids could play on before the movie started and lots of rocks in the parking lot for Osh man to throw.

Now comes the parenting fail:

Ice Age Meltdown or whatever the heck it's called was first but didn't start until 9:00 when it's dark (the weather was beautiful also, hello luckies). The twins loved the movie and thought it was super funny. They were so tired we laid them down to sleep and they began drifting off. They woke up immediately as soon as our movie started and watched a good chunk of Dark Knight Rises. Definitely not age appropriate at all. It's better than a lot of things we watch after they go to bed but still. In my defense, we had a plan that we would put them in the car with blankies and they could watch Shrek on the car DVD players, but Hubby was in charge of that and he was too lazy. Yeah . . . .







I realize upon reading through this that you probably think I am a 900 lb. person between the real butter popcorn, snacks, Cherry limeade's and Sonic grilled cheese. I can truly say that I am as surprised as you are that I am in fact normal sized (although I could afford to lose a few pounds). Mama loves food!

Also, I would like to add that I have made comments on a bunch of your blogs, but I can't read those damn "prove your not a robot" things and I try again and again and it eventually just doesn't let me comment! I'm sorry, I tried!

Road Trip Awesomeness

Last Wednesday we packed up our favorite books, toys, stamps, stickers and movies and embarked on a road trip. I was scared to death because we would be doing 26 hours worth of driving in 6 days with two two year olds.



Well . . . . .

My monkey's were awesome! They were completely happy to watch 7 hours a day of movies on the long drive days and occasionally read a book or put stickers all over their body.



We then arrived at our final destination: My ten year high school reunion.

My ten year reunion was weird as hell. First, I graduated with almost 500 people and about 40 came. Most of the 40 came from out of town while the hundreds of people who lived right in town did not come. Weird. It was intensely awkward too. I really didn't care that much what became of these people so I had to fake a lot of interest. I was so glad I went because I was dying to see my two best friends of all time, but really, weird. We decided next time we get together we would definitely not be doing it for a school reunion.

I did go from the midwest to New Mexico and I greatly enjoyed some good burritos. Not tex mex burritos at a chain restaurant, but delicious, tasty, amazing burritos. Yummo. New Mexico is a different kind of place. At least different from any other place I lived which has included Oklahoma, Texas, California, Florida, Ohio, Kansas and good old New Mexico.


Lovely mantel decor, not typical of the midwest, but typical of New Mexico! I love it!

The monkey's liked New Mexico too, but mostly because there was a pool at their hotel and they got to be spoiled with attention between myself, my mom and my aunt, not to mention all the people they met that oohed and aahed over their cuteness. They were so sweet and well mannered. I definitley pretended that they are like that all the time and I am Mom of the Year.





It's good to know that my kids are road trip compatible. This opens a whole new door of possibilites for us.

You may have noticed my lack of blogging. Well . . . blogger wants me to download Google Chrome on my PC but my PC won't let me so that means I have to blog from my iPad always. Chicken pecking blog posts is super tedious and annoying. Blogging at work is a big no, so I have to wait to blog when I have lots of patience, which is rare. Very rare.

Random Stuff

1. In less than a week I will be putting my toddlers into the car along with my mother and driving for 13 hours. Yeah, that is probably the worst idea I have ever had . . . . . . . .

2. I am driving to my high school reunion. That should be weird! I have great friends from high school, but to be honest I was looking at the Facebook list of people attending and I don't remember very many them. At all. I am so excited to see my girlfriends and two of them will be meeting the twins for the first time.

3. Ocean is really making me laugh these days. I was watching TV and he asked if he could watch with me. He watched really hard for about one minute, then he told me that "I not watch TV with mommy, mommy TV yucky, I go to Home Depot with Daddy." We were at a restaurant and Hubby asked what I wanted and I said I really wanted some booze. Osh yelled out "I have booze too!" Luckily, I have not yet been arrested for that. He was jumping on the couch and on Hubby and Hubby asked him not to jump on him (we have long since given up on asking them not to jump on the couch). Osh said "Why Daddy, you have a baby in you tummy?" Ha! Hilarious!

4. Pool season always shows me who got the good boob jobs and who got the cheap ones. When the boobs are 6 inches apart and on the side of your chest like fish eyes, you should probably see if you can get a refund.

5. My body is one big infected mess. I had that bacteria, now I have a UTI and one of my kidneys infected. I got a shot of antibiotics and now take 150 mg of antibiotics a day for 10 days. If that doesn't do the job, I will be doing hospital time. I think hospitals are disgusting and I hope that the meds will do the job because I don't want to spend time there. No thank you!

8. I go to bed pretty early these days. With all my infections and everything I am just beat. I have gotten addicted to internet debate boards. I read one and never participate, but damn! There are some crazy people out there. If feeds my drama llama big time. I don't prefer that kind of drama in real life, so I get my jollies reading about other people. Welfare queens, abortions, people who breastfeed until kids really don't need to be breastfeeding anymore. It's really interesting. If you are ever really bored you should look up "Baby Center Debate Team." You're welcome. Don't forget your popcorn.

7. I few weeks ago I was so tired and frustrated with my children. I was on my own because Hubby was in class and I had worked a long day and they were just driving me crazy. I got so upset and totally freaked out. I called Hubby to come home. I felt so terrible about it, the next night when I picked up the kids from daycare we walked to a park and had a picnic together. I just needed to remember that I'm not the worst mother ever and that we have fun together. We had a lovely time and I haven't had a meltdown since. I hate that feeling!

Our First Just Us Vacation

We're Back!

We went to Branson, MO. You may or may not have heard of it. It's an all American kind of place. Cheesy, basically. If you ever would have told me that my family little of liberal heathens would find pure bliss in a place that was undergoing a Gospel festival for the weekend, where many people say "y'all" and "God bless you" in every other sentence, where you listen to remixes of Proud to Be An American on group tours, where there are gigantic concrete Ronald Reagan heads in tshirt shop parking lots, and where "you're daughter is beautiful" is promptly followed by "that's gonna require a real big gun," I would have laughed at you.

But I'm not laughing (actually did laugh at some of those things). I am, however, smiling from ear to ear. It was heavenly!!

On our first day there we went to an amusement park. We had a blast. We rode rides and watched shows and ate enough fried food to clog the arteries of the healthiest person you know.









**please note that we are not fans of guns, but we were in the country, these are pretend and part of the ride. As they say, when in Rome . . . ,





Next, we did a lot of swimming. I have two little water bugs on my hands. We got them floaties to see if they could swim on their own a little bit. They did awesome! They even jumped off the side and went under water.






On Sunday we rode the ducks. We took a tour of Branson and some military stuff in a vehicle that also becomes a boat. Ocean really loved it. The tour guide was awesome and we sang and danced and loved going out on the lake.



After that we went to a butterfly house and rainforest. It turns out Ocean hates frogs, butterflies and mazes with loud noises.





On the way home, we stopped at a drive through animal zoo where you can feed the animals.





Then there was the best parts . . . Snuggled, lovin' and jumping on hotel beds!








I can't wait for our next adventure.