The Big Question

After we had the twins, NO ONE ever asked us if we were going to have more kids. Not even once. Ever. Maybe it was because so many people knew of our struggles and didn't think I would be psycho enough to walk down that shitty road again. Maybe because we had two kids and reproducing at the replacement rate is the best thing for society. Maybe it was because people think having twins is crazy so why do it again? Maybe it was because we had the "million dollar family," a boy and girl, no need to mess with that. I don't know.

Now that Butterball is here, everyone and their mama asks us if we plan on having more. And if they don't say it so nicely, they say " this is the last one right?" It's like uterus gone wild up in here, having three kids. I'm out of control y'all!

Here is the answer that I give everyone so as to stop the conversation in it's tracks because this is in the NACHO category (as in, nacho business, not your business): No! We are done!

Here is the real answer: I don't know for sure. The hubs has brought it up quite a bit. He talked a lot about getting a vasectomy while I was pregnant. I don't like the idea, but they are his balls and if he feels really confident and happy with that decision I would support him and that would be that. He has changed his mind. I have no idea where I stand. I am definitely on birth control now and plan on maybe getting the new type of IUD that is coming out in a few months (smaller and less hormones than the Mirena, but no pills, sounds fun, no?). I would not consider having another baby on purpose while living in our small home or until the twins are in Kindergarten or while my hubby is still in school and hubby will not consider more kids after 40 years old, which is in less than 5 years from now. After the twins, I was so sure I didn't want anymore kids that I wanted to give our embryo up for adoption and I would have if hubby wasn't against it. Then when I thought of that embie I wanted another baby badly. Now I have one. I love him so much and he is so perfect. I have three perfect kids. And I am tired as hell. That's what I know for today.

One thing I know for sure is that I will not be in a RE's office doing IVF. That is an absolute no. I don't know if something changed in me or if we were struck by conception lightning with the butterball, but it makes no difference. I don't like who I am when I am at the end of my rope, spending all the money we have, being pumped full of hormones hoping for a dream to come true that I don't have much control over. I have big plans for us, none of which include that emotional and physical trauma again.

That's the story. I doubt we will be the Duggar's. Other than that, I have no answers for the inquiring minds. Sorry folks.