Really?

**Welcome ICLW**

I am posting this early as a warning for those who need it: this blog is HEAVY on the baby talk and pictures. You may want to skip if that is currently hard for you. If not, this blog began over a year ago with this first post and is now primarily about life with our twins after thirty cycles of trying to conceive, eight months of Clomid, three IUI's with injectible meds, countless blood tests, antidepressants, therapy, adoption paperwork, five foster kids and finally one successful IVF!

There really isn't much to watch on the tube during weekends so I usually watch something totally random or reruns.

We rented our first movies since the birth of the munchkins. We watched "Get Him to the Greek" and "Splice." "Get Him to the Greek" was pretty funny in an obviously senseless way and my new motto in life is now "when life hands you a jeffrey rub a furry wall." "Splice" was so extremely disturbing I feel like calling my therapist right now. DON'T watch it, ever. Shudder . . . . .

Sunday I was desperately combing through the channels looking for something to distract me from my grouchy monkeys when I saw the title "8 Boys Want a Girl." In all my TV watching, I had never seen this before and I was intrigued. I started watching it and quickly became appalled.

It was on the Discovery Health Channel and was about the quest of three women who had tons of healthy children that happened to have weenies and were extremely desperate for a girl child.

Really? REALLY? I don't often feel bitterness like I used to, but I was one Bitter Betty last night. Just like watching "16 and Pregnant" while doing treatments even though I knew it was a poor choice, I got sucked in and watched.

Two couples were trying natural methods of creating girls. One was pregnant with her fifth child and they went in for the ultrasound. She was so nervous because she just had to have that little girl. It was a boy. She cried and hugged her husband as if she had just been told the baby had some fatal illness. I wanted to bitch slap her SO badly. Her boys are beautiful and she made them all by having sex with her husband, for free, which is something that baffles me and I can't comprehend it. She said she doesn't know how to live with it. It became apparent that her hubby was really ready to bitch slap her as well. He called her a "nightmare." Can't blame him.

I love modern medicine. I love IVF. I think IVF is super awesome and if it were a person I would have posters of it on my ceiling so I could look at it with dreamy eyes all night, that is how much I love IVF. BUT . . . I think sometimes it is used in a wrong way. Yeah, I said it. I 100% disagree with it being used for gender selection. Preventing deadly and life altering diseases is an amazing thing through PGD. Picking and choosing private parts, not so much.

One woman wanted girls so badly but she had 5 boys. In the UK, you cannot use PGD for gender selection (thank you) so she had to travel out of the country. After a few tries she was pregnant with twin girls and her life is now complete. She even said that she would not marry her partner unless he "gave" her a girl baby. They showed her shopping with her girls, taking pictures with her girls and raving about how they are everything she ever wanted. Then they showed her boys playing video games. I felt so sorry for them.

They showed one American woman. She had three healthy boys. She was doing her last attempt at PGD to get a girl. After going through IVF, I just can't understand how someone could pay all that money and go through the emotions and the physical demands of the procedure just to have a certain sex of baby. I just. don't. get. it. I understand gender disappointment, I really do. Maybe a little, "oh, I always dreamed of a son/daughter" or having your mother's intuition proved wrong or shedding a few tears. But being unable to live with it? I don't get that. The RE came in and told them that they had one healthy girl and a few remaining embryos. They said to discard the embryos. My mouth dropped open. I am a fairly liberal person, pro-choice and what have you, but again I. JUST. DON'T. GET. IT. I know people who would love those embryos!! They would love a healthy baby no matter what the sex! Why waste something that took so much care to create?

AAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!

Okay, I just had to get that off my chest. I may not even turn the tube on tonight after two nights in a row of being disturbed. I know I'm lucky to have one of each, but it's hard to grasp having your life "ruined" and to be fearful of being eternally depressed when you have healthy beautiful children, especially being an infertility survivor.

Here's my Osh, who I love despite his weenie . . .

Here's my peanut, who I love dearly, and not just because I can buy her pink shit . . . .