All in all this year was okay. My time with the twins has been amazeballs. They have grown and changed so much it is crazy. Just this morning I was standing in front of the house and Ever wanted in and she looked up at me and said "scuze me mama." I loved it. It's those little things that I am in love with. Hubby and I got ourselves back together and in a good place so that was cool.
On the crap list was of course these resurfacing infertility issues and to put a cherry on top was the BFN I just had. I am still trying to let go of the conversations hubby and I had about baby names and the dreams I had of what it was like to be pregnant in the summertime, and all the dreams I had in my mind of what it is like to have a singleton. That kicked my ass. It actually physically hurts because since then I have had stress induced migraines frequently. Ick. The other crap list is work. Not because my job sucks or anything, but because I would rather be with my munchkins. I am on day 7 in a row with my babies, all day, everyday, and I love it so much. It is so fabulous. Today I didn't even eat until noon because I was so busy, but busy with things that made me feel happy, like the house getting cleaned, snuggles, grocery shopping. Things that are normally a last minute stress situation during the work week are just an easy, everyday part of life. One of the worst things of this year is that I have completely let myself go. I have not weighed this much or been this out of shape since I was 14. I look old. It's depressing. Let's don't even mention the pneumonia that lasted all summer and the four rounds of stomach flu we have had since Thanksgiving.
I know that 2012 could potentially suck big balls and way worse things could happen than BFN's and flabby thighs and hopelessly tiring, disorganized chaotic days trying to juggle working and mommying. For some reason though, I feel like 2012 could really be exciting. Maybe not even exciting, but just satisfying. Maybe I feel like that because my horoscope said so. Or maybe because I got a fortune cookie that said "your dearest wish will come true" and we all know fortune cookies never lie. I can't explain it, but I am really looking forward to the New Year.
I think this is going to be good. Only a day and a half left of 2011.
Prepare to eat your heart out! I'm serious, be sure you can handle this cuteness.
Are you okay? Just checking, because I know Osh man is so cute that it hurts sometimes.
I love this girl. She is a little firecracker. She is major mommy's girl right now and I'd be lying if I said I didn't love it!
your kids are absolutely PRECIOUS. Their eyes, hair, skin...ahhhh!!! Presh. And I am so with you on lots of the New Years things, I also haven't weighed this much in FOREVER, and I am going to try really hard to make 2012 a good year! We can do it! lol :)
ReplyDeleteHappy 2012 to you, too! I am also not big on resolutions. It's just good to try to keep our glasses half full. It isn't always easy, I know. But, you and I are lucky because we each have 2 reasons to keep it all in perspective and savor the simplist of joys. And, then, like you pointed out... we don't always need to be sunshine-and-roses-happy. We need a little ebb and flow with the good times and the bad.
ReplyDeleteHere's to a grounded, but mostly awesome 2012!!!
Love the end of the year eyelashes!!!!!!
Here's to 2012!
ReplyDeleteThose babes are adorable, yes indeedy!
Ha! Your post was basically the opposite of mine, I'm SCARED of 2012 because 2011 was so good to me (BFP after IVF #2). We just started the journey to #2 and I am so scared of all the BFNs and money spent that may or may not be in my future. Blech. I hope 2012 is kind to both of us!
ReplyDelete