Mom Saturdays

7:00 a.m. My alarm goes off for my 10K. I put babies in my bed for snuggles after I realized they slept all night. This hasn't happened in a week! I am obviously running late.

8:00 a.m.-9:06 a.m. I finish the 10K! The weather is lovely and I am quite pleased with my 1 hr 6 minute time.




Hubby wanted you to see a photo of my butt. I'm sorry.

9:30 a.m. I arrive home and we mess around for quite some time. We have tantrums, naps, lunch, playtime, showers, hubby mows the lawn, basically it is just laid back.





1:45 p.m. We go to the mall because hubby got a promotion and he can't just wear jeans to work anymore.

2:45 p.m. We pick up my 4 year old cousin and go out to a BEAUTIFUL garden and have a wonderful time.


The babies crawled in tunnels. They have just discovered slides and love them.






Ocean's first wishing weed!




The babies absolutely adore water. They love to get in it any chance they can. They were so happy that there were many opportunities for this at the garden. I am thrilled that they love water because I do too. And Ocean's name would be pretty stupid if he was scared of water.








5:00 p.m. We head back into town to eat some dinner. We have pizza. The babies eat TWO pieces. Last week they went to daycare for one day and she had to text me to tell me they eat a lot. They also each ate an entire turkey sandwich for lunch. Wowza! I can't believe Peanut is only in the 15th percentile for weight with these eating habits. I enjoy a glass of wine. I feel a little on the trashy side watching my one year olds eat pizza directly off the table (with cheese pulled off) while I hit the sauce. Ah well, what can you do? If you are ever in Kansas City you need to try this pizza - it has a sweet pizza sauce, cheese, pickles, mustard, onions, and hamburger. MMMMM!!!!

6:15 p.m. Babies play out on the deck for awhile as I sit on hubby's lap and we watch. They are so funny. They have a house and a barbecue that is their size and they are very busy. Ocean goes out front with hubby to water plants and Peanut sits on my lap while we watch them. She pulls of my sunglasses and tries unsuccessfully to put them on.



7:30 p.m. It's bathtime! I take a little break because I am starting to feel the burn from my 6 and something mile run this morning.

8:00 p.m. We give them their big bottles (pedi said we could wait until 15 months to take them off, just so you know) and they drift off to sleep. Both of them are in their cribs by 8:45.

I am going to bed early again this Saturday as I am sore as hell and also tired from a lovely afternoon outdoors!

Doctor's Appointment

The babies had their one year appointment. I made sure that Ocean had a nice hair do for it because of course pediatrician's make sure that babies have nice hair. It didn't get messed up when they mushed his head against that thing that they measure their height though.



They were so cute. They babbled and smiled at everyone. They were very good. The doctor said that their percentages were slipping, but not in a way that made her alarmed. Ever needs Eucerin lotion for her arms instead of baby lotion but that was about it!



The horrible thing was of course shots and today was a big one, getting blood drawn. I cried before the babies did. Yep. You should laugh at me right now. Hubby sat down with Osh and they nurse told me to go on in and I said "NO!" But everyone lived and they did quite well, much better than I expected!

Here are the stats for you:



Ocean
31 inches - 79th percentile
22 lbs 8 oz - 43rd percentile



Ever
29 inches - 42nd percentile
19 lbs 3 oz - 15th percentile

I already knew they were perfect, but just hearing those words from a medical professional makes it all the better. We are so happy to have found a doctor who is laid back like we are. They never push ANYTHING. She didn't push breastfeeding on me like many docs do, but asked and told me my options. She always makes us feel good about the choices we have made. She did recommend dairy, but when I told her we are attempting to eliminate it entirely from our house she didn't bat an eyelash and told us just to give them a Vitamin D supplement. It was nice and easy. The nurse commented on how I am a great first time parent and they are surprised they don't hear from me more often, which is very common I guess.

Unfortunately, I also had an appointment. My c-section scar still burns after certain activities and will sometimes swell. I have to go back to my surgeon tomorrow morning to see what we need to do because there are probably endometrioma from the c-section as well as adhesions that could have attached to my abdominal wall. Bummer. I wonder how the appointment will go with me and two very mobile toddlers . . . .



What? You think it's weird that I take my camera with me to doctor's appointments? Well, if you haven't figured out that I'm kind of weird you may have issues.

Lazy Mom

Guess what?

The twins are officially one year and 5 days and . . . .

they still drink from a bottle! Yes, it's true. I have not made the leap and yanked the bottle from their sweet little hands. I know this is a big no no and the bottle should be gone, but they really like it. My goal is actually 18 months being one hundred percent bottle free. This is so not cool by mommy rules, but in this house this mama will do what I want to! And basically I'm a huge sucker and want my babies to be happy. I'm also tired so I sometimes just do the easiest thing.

My boo bear Osh can drink from a sippy and a straw really well, but his little sis is having some difficulty still. I think Osh is about done anyway, he doesn't even want a bottle first thing in the morning and they rarely finish it when they get it but I'm thinkin' we need a little more time.

We are pretty much 100% on soy milk now and not formula which my wallet is thankful for.

What my wallet is not thankful for is daycare. I am going to be tacky and let you know how much money will be taken from my wallet each month very soon if these monkey will learn to walk.

Ready?

Are you sure?

$1300.00. Per month. It hurts me to see it. Owie.

Ready for my other tales of laziness?

I am running a 10K on Saturday and I told myself that I would definitely work out at least twice this week just to stay "warm." I didn't. On Monday night I went to the movies to see Water for Elephants instead of working out. It was wonderful and Robert Pattinson was just his regular dreamy dream boat self. Tuesday I went to Target and hit the sack early instead of working out. Due to the fact that the monkeys stayed up ALL. NIGHT. last night I'm sure I won't work out tonight either. Cross your fingers for tomorrow at least!

The good news is that the babies looked ADORABLE on Sunday in their Easter outfits! I got teary eyed after they were all dressed. They are just gorgeous little things. We usually roll in comfy clothes, like cotton ensembles from Carter's because we play a lot so we don't get too fancy so it is so special to see them dressed so cute! Easter is quite laid back for us because we are not religious. Please don't hold that against me, I know it's tough for some people to understand, but we're not. If you have questions about that you are welcome to ask as it seems to usually spark interest in some people.











Happy hump day! It's all downhill from here and almost the weekend!! I have off so I get to spend FOUR straight days with the monkeys starting tomorrow, woo woo!

National Infertility Awareness Week

It has begun. I did a facebook post about how long and how many treatments it took us to get Ocean and Ever mostly to crickets chirping.

Don't get me wrong, I will NEVER forget how I felt going through that. I can say with all honesty that I, on several occasions, had no will to live. I didn't want to vacation or workout or go anywhere because the one and only thing I have wanted to do since I was a little child pretending my youngest brother was my babydoll was be a mom and I just didn't know if it would happen. The whole foundation for my entire being was wiped out. I had no idea that I would have any trouble getting pregnant. I was not diagnosed with PCOS until after I got off birth control and I did not get on birth control until I was 19. I was a mere 23 years old when this whole ordeal began so it was just a slap in the face that I just couldn't handle.

To top it all off, I had no medical coverage for treatments whatsoever. Not a drop. My pregnancy tests at the fertility center were not even covered because I did them at a fertility center. It is messed up. I feel that it is complete and total bullshit that I have to pay into my insurance, which I work hard for, for people who have all types of self inflicted expensive illnesses based on poor life choices or that I have to pay for people who have 7, 8 or 9 children or even the money that comes out of my paycheck for people who don't even work to have money while people can't lift one of their stingy little fingers to help me pay to achieve my dreams of a family due to a medical issue that prevents that. Total bullshit I tell you.

BUT - I feel joy now and I am lucky. When I look back at the depression, the money spent, the needles and bruises, the a-hole doctors, the disappointment, the tears and the stressful medical procedures and then look at my two beautiful children, it seems like a small price to pay. I feel like I should have had to endure more for them, like I didn't even do enough. I know that probably means I need to see a therapist, but I am just so thankful for these two that it helps to blank out the pain a little bit.

It is not fair that people who really want children have to go through these things and some of them go through this and at the end come out empty handed and that is a terrible, terrible thing. I don't want anyone to have to deal with this and a more supportive community and better insurance coverage would help a lot.

I feel torn sometimes. I am proud of what we went through for our babies even though not everyone agrees with procedures like IVF. I don't mind telling people about it. I just don't want that to overshadow my babies. I don't want them to be "IVF babies." Some people just can't handle that. I want them to just be them. Adorable, hilarious, and of course advanced and amazing in every way. I want to help my fellow infertiles and will ALWAYS take an opportunity to help change things or just be there and at the same time I just want to live now. My life was on hold waiting for this to unfold and now I just want to immerse myself in the joy that is mommyhood.

In conclusion, it's National Infertility Awareness Week so be aware. Infertility is hard and your friends who have it need support. If your state is talking about fertility insurance coverage please take a moment to at least look into it. If you are currently struggling with this there is a possibility that you will someday resolve what you are going through now and you can enjoy being a mother. When you feel like you just can't take it anymore it is possible that you can and the life you dreamed of is waiting.

If you are a mother already by whatever means, don't forget how special that is.

Mom Saturdays - Party Edition

1:00 a.m.: Ever has a major tantrum. In the middle of the night. Yay. Hubby checked on her and she was just fine. By some miracle Osh didn't wake up and luckily mama had taken some benadryl before bed.

7:15 a.m.: Ever wakes up, followed shortly by Ocean.

7:55 a.m.: I pull on sweats and head to the clubhouse to decorate. I stop by Walmart and the Dollar Store to pick up a few more things and then head home.

12:00 p.m.: The babies eat some lunch of turkey, grapes, cheese and honey grahams with a glass of soy milk. I clean them up and we go to my grandparents house.

2:20: We head over and it's PARTY TIME!!!! Please note: There are some photos of me so don't forget that the camera adds 10 lbs. Err, let's actually make that 20, okay?



We had coconut cupcakes, chocolate banana cupcakes, strawberry lemonade cupcakes, and plain cupcakes! Cupcake decorations by Etsy.



Because it was an afternoon party we just had snack mixes. My mom made six different flavored homemade snack mixes! Brown monkey is from Target, striped monkeys are from Toys R Us.















If you were ever wondering why I'm weird, it's because I was raised by a woman who is 40-something and thinks she should get in a jump jump that is supposed to hold two 3rd graders at best with a bunch of little kids. Yeah, woman in the red shirt is my mom. We have real good genes, mmm hmm. If I look like that when I'm a Grandma I will be SO happy!

5:15 p.m.: Everyone is gone and it is time to clean up, pack up the mother load of stuff the babies got and all the extra food. The twins are TIRED. Absolutely exhausted. So am I.

6:15 p.m.: We arrive back home and the babies are completely passed out. I know we need to wake them up to feed them but they are just so tired and they only had one nap today for an hour. We will wake them soon and feed them. Bedtime goal for me: ASAP!! My body physically aches from all the action today and I am so ready for bed. I can't believe I have two toddlers!

One

We made it! I don't know why this is such a huge milestone, but it just is. Maybe because you spend so much time in your life wanting a baby. You know, a little tiny baby. But now that we are at the one year mark it's solidifying the big picture that this wasn't just about having babies, but having a family that goes beyond babies. Toddlers, children, teenagers and grown ups! A lifetime. It's amazing!



Last year tomorrow Ocean came out much bigger than expected at 9:30 a.m., followed by our little feisty Peanut just two minutes later. The range of emotions that I have felt in the last 365 days cannot be described. I've never had so many "feelings" in my life of such a wide variety. I'm sure I messed up a million times in the last year, but I feel great about where we are today.





And of course, the monkeys have changed so much. Ocean is now taking steps and he can throw a ball like a champion. Ever is so expressive and she can say daddy, doggy, ball, uh oh and baby. They both love to go outside. Ocean has 6 teeth and Ever has 4. They are weaning off the bottle, a baby staple! We just started soy milk on Monday and we are phasing out formula. The love and snuggle and give kisses.



We wrote the babies a letter that we put in their Mixbook. I was so excited to receive their hardbound book that I created for them. I put the words from the story "On the Night You Were Born" by Nancy Tillman. I get teary eyed every time I read it. Here is the letter!

Dear Oshy and Ever,

You are the two most beautiful babies in the whole world. We had no idea how amazing it would be to be your mommy and daddy. You have grown so much in the last 365 days. You are our greatest joy and we are so happy to get to spend all of our days with you!

Love forever and always,

Mommy and Daddy







The world will never be the same!

Rambling Mind

1. The whole pink toenail polish on boys debacle. If you hadn't heard, J Crew featured an ad with a mom painting her son's nails pink.



There was all this outrage from people about how we don't care about gender roles anymore. Yes, I agree, I don't care about gender roles. I think it is 100% harmless for a little kid who is also male to paint their toe nails. Or wear pink. Hubby wears pink and he looks hot. He is even a dirty manly man, but if he wasn't a dirty manly man, who cares? It's also not fair to put all this pressure on little boys which we don't always do the same to girls. If there was a girl in this picture digging in the dirt or playing with a ball I doubt the author of the scatahing article would have said "hurry, get her an apron and put her behind a stove before she becomes confused!" Or maybe he would have I don't know, but honestly there are bigger things going on out there. Besides, look at how happy the mom and son are! That is the most important thing.

2. I'm not understanding the interest in the Royal Wedding. I think it's lovely these two young people are in love, but why is it on TV all the time? I'm not interested at all. I don't care about who is coming, what diet the bride is on or what she is wearing. Is that weird?

3. I get the biggest kick out of watching the babies run around naked after their bath. I know I shouldn't let them and I need to be stricter, but once I put them on the couch and they escape from their bath towel they have the best time squealing and jumping around in their birthday suits! I think it's adorable. Not safe or normal, but certainly entertaining!

4. Apparently my not-even-one year olds are not impressed with my discipline skills. Last night when I was telling Ever "no no," Ocean looked at her and pointed his little bitty finger and said "do do." I was also telling Ocean no no for standing up in the tub and Ever thought I needed help because she gave him a good whack on the booty to supplement the no no.

5. I really REALLY want to give up dairy products, but I don't have the willpower. Dairy is in everything! I know my body and system would feel so much better if I ditched the dairy but dairy is in a lot of my food staples like yogurt and cheese and most importantly chocolate. My favorite protein shakes and bars all have dairy in them so I would be doing a major diet overhaul. There are things that I like and always get but if I did give up dairy I would have to get much more creative with my habits. The babies have cheese and occasionally yogurt, but they will most likely not be drinking milk at all. We started with some Very Vanilla Soy Milk yesterday. Ocean loves it and Ever isn't into it so we will see where this goes.

Those are my thoughts of the day. You're welcome.

Mom Saturdays

6:45 a.m.: My alarm goes off. WHY???? Is it Friday again? No wait, I just forgot to turn it off from yesterday. I can't go back to sleep.

7:15 a.m.: Osh is awake and standing in his crib. He sees Hubby when I carry him into bed and reaches for him. They snuggle in the most perfect snuggle. I give him a bottle and he drinks some for awhile while looking at us. I enjoy when we get to have one on one time with just a baby instead of both sometimes because I feel like it gives them such lovely attention. Osh decides it would be more fun to spray his bottle all over the bed instead of drink it. I know I should stop him, but he looks so funny doing it.

7:30 a.m.: Ever gets up and we have family snuggle time. I love the mornings when we are all in bed together! The babies have learned to jump on the bed so they do that. It's not a real jump, but their best attempt at jumping.

8:00 a.m.: I really need to go running. I get all ready and leave the house.

9:06 a.m.: I get back in my car after having run 5 miles in only 50 minutes, yay! It was so cold I had thought about maybe only doing a mile but I did the whole thing.

9:15 a.m.: I arrive home to a red-eyed Peanut and she needs some mommy snuggles. Hubby gets her a bottle and I take her up to her bed for a nap. She reaches for me so I wrap her in a blankie and she and sweaty mommy lay in bed. We need to leave the house in 40 minutes to get to the Earth Walk we signed up for. Many meltdowns from babies that need sleep ensue.

10:03 a.m.: We are in the car and on our way. It is FREEZING out! We make it to the walk just in time to see an adorable little boy in green and blue rain boots tell everyone in the microphone it's time for the walk. I realize that walking three miles after running 5 miles was bad and my legs hurt quite a bit. The babies did great! Ocean got sick of it with just a little less than half a mile to go.





12:00 p.m.: We are done with the walk and the babies are screaming. We stop at the bagel shop to eat lunch which makes the monkeys happy.

1:00 p.m.: We go to my Grandma's to taste test the birthday cupcakes. The choices are chocolate banana and pink lemonade. They are both so delicious! We play around for a long time and get to go to the clubhouse to see the layout of the birthday party. Ever gets to try her first cupcake cone and she even shares some with her great Papa!





3:30 p.m.: We go to Michael's to purchase fabric markers with our coupons for the monkey's people can decorate to take with them from next weekend's party. We also go to Party City and see tons of things that I will be buying when I get off from work early Friday to pick up all the balloons.

5:00 p.m.: We eat dinner at Chik-Fil-A. The babies play in the play area and a little girl is all over Ever. I want her to stop but don't want to piss off her mom or hurt her feelings. I am started to get pissed that her family doesn't tell her not to do that. They finally leave and the babies and hubby go down the slide multiple times.





6:00 p.m.: At home we play out on the back deck. I realize our kitchen table makes us look like hoarders and think I should clean it. I don't. Maybe tomorrow. Okay, I clean a little bit and work on some hairbows.





6:45 p.m.: The babies are getting whiny. We play around as long as we can. Hubby decides to mow the grass and I try to entertain them. I give them some food and then we have a bath around 7:45 p.m.

8:05 p.m.: Babies pass out within minutes while hubby and I are watching "Jennifers Body" on tv which is completely stupid but I had to keep watching. I love when the munchkins pass out with their lips pouted and their little bellies hanging out of their shirts. I give kisses and they go to bed.

9:20: Hubby leaves to get a movie and ice cream while I write this post. I'm hoping to be in bed by 10:30 tonight although I've had trouble falling asleep before 11 the past week. Next weeks Mom Saturdays should be a doozy, it's the big party!