Not Fair

Being a mom has changed the way I look at other parents. I put myself in their shoes sometimes and it is such a bizarre thing to feel that for complete strangers.

Last night we went out to eat and of course the restaurant was packed, it being a Saturday night. Peanut was doing her usual hamming it up, engaging a stranger, then waving, then basking in the glow of the "awwww, she is so adorable." Yep, she knows how to reel them in. There were kids and families all over the place.

After a bench opened up we sat down and family came in with their daughter who was in a wheelchair. The little girl was severely disabled. Hubby and I sat in complete silence and I knew he was feeling how I was feeling. Her dad would rub her hands or her shoulders and stare at her so lovingly. He would lean down and wipe the drool from her mouth and give her a kiss. My eyes were full of tears. Even with being so sad for a little girl having to live that kind of life, I just felt terrible for her parents.

We often take advantage of little things, like being able to wait for the words "I love you" or "mommy" to come out of our monkey's mouths. I get frustrated now that they can get into everything, but last night I felt so incredibly thankful that they had that ability. Ocean had been screaming all day because one of his teeth came all the way out and I became thankful that he had the ability to be able to let us know he was in pain.

Just watching her daddy dote on her was so precious. I can't imagine how he is feeling. When we were offered the 12 week scan we refused after we found out it was to check for Down's (among other things) because we know we can handle it and from the many times through working with kids or Special Olympics that I have been around people with Down's I think they are lovely. I watched the Dr. Oz episode the other day on Autism, and while I would never want my children to have autism, that is something else I know I could handle. But for some reason, seeing this family made me so sad for them, all of them and I just couldn't picture myself in their shoes. It's not fair. It's not fair to go to a restaurant and see little healthy children running or sitting or climbing while your child is suffering. It's not right to hear a 10 month old babbling and communicating right across from you while your child who is much older can't communicate at all.

I also feel so uncomfortable saying I am thankful for what I have in regards to these situations. It almost sounds rude, like I'm glad it is someone else and not me. But I wish it was no one. And I am thankful for healthy children. I hope I can take advantage of it for every day that it is our reality.