Things That Are Really Annoying Me Today

1. Baby On Board signs on cars. Really? You think some psychopath with road rage is going to get pissed that you cut them off and then start tailgating you with the intention of bashing your head in with a baseball bat and that little yellow diamond that says "Baby on Board" is going to make them all of a sudden as docile as a baby kitten? No, it's not. You think when it is slick with rain on the road and that huge semi comes careening across the freeway it will all of a sudden just stop in it's tracks because of that dumb little "Baby on Board" sign? Or are you just advertising that you have a baby in your car? I don't get it. Dumb.

2. People who dress their kid to the 9's just to do everyday things, like go to the park or the store. Your little girl doesn't want to wear baby wedges, a skirt, a larger than life hair thing and a giganto vest that looks like a dead animal. Let your kid play. Your son/daughter is not your doll.

3. One of my feet is totally jacked and I walk like an idiot sometimes. This is completely my fault because a few months back I was at a place with my children from work that is full of those blow up jump jump thingys (bounce houses). A very fit 8 year old asked me to go with him and copy what he did. He jumped off of a section that was higher than the other and then did a flip. Because I am a regular genius, I thought I could do this too. No, I could not. My back and foot cracked. I'm still paying for it, as I deserve, for thinking that I am in as great shape as an 8 year old.

4. Internet liars. This is a phenomenon I don't quite grasp. Making up junk about yourself or your kids is just plain weird. Or people who bicker and bicker and bicker with each other online.

5. People who have a baby shower with every kid because "every child should be celebrated." I don't really care if you have a baby shower for every kid, that is not the annoying part. The part that is annoying to me is that you have convinced yourself this is for the baby somehow. How is that true?? That baby is a fetus who doesn't really care about anything, let alone if you have a party for it before it has arrived. This is for you. Own it.

6. Those feathers people wear in their hair. Only a few people look good in them, everyone else looks just plain silly. I was talking to a woman who had one that was thick and fluffy dangling off of her bangs and I just couldn't take anything she said seriously.

Phew. I feel better now.

Pizza!!



Ornery

Consignment Sales and Finger Nails

I am a bargain shopper by nature. Mostly because I'm poor, but also because I'm super cheap. Cheapo for sure.

I have never been really big on resale or consignment shopping. I did one run to a nice consignment shop for babies before the twins were born and right after I found out we were having at least one boy. I found great things, but never went back. Other than some hand-me-downs, all of the nuggets clothes have been new (cheap, but new).

I went to a Just Between Friends sale, which is a gigantic warehouse full of resale clothing that is tagged and sold by moms. Well . . . . I thought it sucked. If the clothes weren't faded, the people who were selling them wanted way more than I would ever pay at a sale like that. For example, there was a really cute set of tights and a skirt that had never been worn. The seller wanted $10.00 for it. F that! I know I could find that for sale at the Children's Place for cheaper! The tag was still on and it said they were originally $14.95 and you could see where the person scratched off the clearance tag. I guarantee they paid no more than $6 for those at the store. Another example: there were some adorable boys sweaters and they wanted $8 for them. They have never been worn. They were Faded Glory, which is Walmart, and I would bet the seller didn't pay any more than $5 for it.

Moral of the story: I could find all of these things new just by being a bargain shopper instead of going to one of these sales and digging through 8 gazillion things just to find a few good items.

But I did find a few things. Since it suddenly became cold out the twins have nothing to wear and look like homeless, random, disheveled kids. After that sale I hit up a Friday night Kohl's sale and also the big baby sale at Old Navy. For less than $200 I came home with:

11 Shirts
4 pairs of pants
1 sweater
4 shirt/pant combos
3 dresses
1 SUPER adorable pair of never been worn Keen rainboots for Osh man

Not too shabby!

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Last week I discovered something that had me in sheer panic.

Not once, not even one single time, in the last almost 17 months have I cut my children's nails. Nope. Never.

I sent a text to hubby to ask him if he has been cutting their nails. He said no, he has never done it.

What in the hell?!?!?!?!???

I wondered how I could possibly have overlooked that and the fact that my kids probably had daggar's on the ends of their fingers. I wondered if they even had nails at all.

Hubby text back that he thinks they just fall off. Oh right hubby. Genius idea.

But they really do just fall off. After carefully checking them they were not monster like and they do exist. On one of Ocean's fingers I saw that it was just kind of dangling (just a little not jaggedy soft sliver) so I wanted to see what happened. By the end of the day it was gone.

This is either really not a good thing and there is something wrong with them or I am one lucky bitch who will never have to hold her kids down screaming while cutting their body parts with a sharp object. Yay.

My little nut playing in the rain

Oshy boy playing in the bath

The Great Bottle Debate

We ALL know babies aren't supposed to have bottles after a year.

Well . . . . . .

Regardless of my knowledge of this, my babies still have bottles. The pediatrician told us at their 15 month appointment to ditch the bottles ASAP. They are now almost 17 months old and we have a nighty night bottle every night. Sometimes they have daytime bottles too if the mood is befitting of one.

My first issue in the bottle war is that I don't really see the difference between a bottle and a sippie cup.



As you see, they have rubber tops and plastic bottoms. Same thing. What is the big deal? It's not that they can't use sippy cups, they just don't prefer it. They can use sippy cups, straw cups, regular cups and regular cups with big people straws (their second preference).

People say it will rot their teeth if they have it in bed. So they don't have it in bed. End of issue.

People say "well, what will it be like if they need a bottle for bed until they're teenagers? Won't that be embarassing?" I mean, I guess if they go to a sleepover and they get made fun of then yeah, it will be embarassing. I'm sure they will learn about peer pressure long before then. Also, I'm 27 and sometimes I need a bottle before bed. My bottles just look different, like these:

(not all at once mind you)

The main issue is ME. I don't give a flying rats behind what you have read in a book that your friend told you that you absolutely must read in order to parent a child, even though people have been parenting without baby books for the last bazillion years. Peer pressure just doesn't do anything for me. You can annoy me, make fun of me and talk about it amongst yourselves and STILL I do not care.


Because a bottle of soy milk before bed makes my babies happy. And when babies are happy, mama is happy. Mama also sleeps when babies sleep and babies sleep well after a nice cold one of soy. When they don't want it anymore or if I decide to get really mean or if something is drastically affecting their health, we won't do it. I'm the boss in this house. I decide what happens.

So there.

The Best Age

I think the twins are the most fun right now. They are doing so many things! I have to admit when people ask me if I'd ever like another kid, of course I would. BUT . . . . when other women tell me how much they miss the newborn phase I think they are loco up top. I don't know if I will ever miss the newborn phase. Maybe when they graduate high school? Probably not then either. I just remember pumping endlessly like some food machine while they cried and screamed and I wanted to murder hubby for not having boobs to help with or at the very least wake up and walk around with one of the screamers. Of course they were cute and smooshy and they smelled really good, the newborn smell is very nice, but everything else is for the birds.

NOW . . . OMG I adore every second. I love hearing "mama" especially.

Today we went to the big city market downtown. You can get the mother load of fresh, local food for cheap. Well, I did buy a loaf of bread that cost $7 but we got home and had it warm with butter and honey. Mmmm mmm mmm.

Anyway, it was a long ride to get there so I let Ocean walk for awhile instead of ride in the stroller. He ran! He gets so excited when he takes of running on his little legs that it makes him scream. It is too adorable. There was an alley (I know, all the awesome moms let their babies play in alley's) with humps and hills and he was so excited to walk up and then run back down. His eyes got big when he watched a man play his guitar and I wondered what he was thinking about. I pulled out my wallet to pay for the bread and some cupcakes we were buying and he reached down and grabbed my Michael's Craft Store rewards card and handed to the woman with a huge smile on his face. She laughed and gave it back so he tried again with my dental insurance card. The woman of course ooh'd and aah'd all over him. He was so proud of himself! We looked in the case of pies and he stuck his face right up to it, so curious. I just love seeing him explore everything!

Ever was in a foul mood but when we got home she was happy. She lays on the floor all the time and reads stories outloud to herself. She is so serious when she does this. She is currently the queen of drama and can make quite the faces. She can now also say "cheese" when she sees the camera.

I am also really enjoying the relationship they have with each other. They hug each other and chit chat with each other. I have to admit the funniest part is when they are fighting with each other. The other night Ocean kicked Ever so she yelled "no" in his face and hit him. He laughed about it so hard. Then she laughed and they hugged. Seriously . . . . melt a mama's heart.

Mommyhood is rockin' my socks right now. Moral of the story: toddlers rule, babies drool.

Stupid Ovaries

You know those stories you hear about people who get knocked up naturally while adopting or whose bodies magically became fertile after giving birth even with years of fertility treatments behind them?

I secretly hoped I was one of them. I secretly wished that one day I could wake up and be like "ooh, my period is late. Maybe I'm knocked up?"

A week ago I was awoken from my sleep by pains in my sides and I was like "ooh, my period is late." But not for one second did I think "maybe I'm knocked up?" I was in pain. My ovaries felt like baseballs bouncing around in my body. I just knew my PCOS was at it again even though I had gone a good SIXTEEN months without issues.

The OB confirmed that my ovaries were enlarged and if I am not going to be taking birth control then I need to be on meds to control the cysts on my ovaries. I've been on these meds before when trying desperately to get knocked up and they are helpful but you get major diarehha in exchange. Everyone loves diarehha right? Not.

To add to the fun of the realization that birth did not cure my reproductive organs, I had a cyst explode last night which left me vomitting this morning and caused me to have a major pity party. And a percocet.

I cried to hubby that I had just hoped so much that I would be normal now, like a normal person without constant reproductive system issues.

And hubby said he had really hoped so too.

At the same time I feel so lucky that I have these two funny munchkins. What if things just get worse and I had waited until there was no hope left?

Stupid ovaries. You suck.

The babies first ride with the top off in the jeep! They weren't impressed.

Our pitiful attempt at a family photo taken at the park!