Baby Shower

Yesterday was my baby shower. It was so much fun! There were lots of monkey items as I refer to the babies as monkeys. Like many other things these days, it was emotional for me. I had a whole speech planned out in my mind to talk about how special this was because it was long awaited and we have appreciated all the support of everyone through this long, but totally worth it journey. Instead, as the last gift was unwrapped, I struggled to find words, started crying, and then all I could get out was "thank you for coming." It really did mean a lot to me and I wish I could have kept it together to say so, but I just couldn't! I also announced the names to anyone who didn't know, which was mostly met with silence. :)

I will entertain you with some photos:



Pink and blue carriage "Here We Come" cake.



A beautiful diaper cake, complete with monkeys of course.



The boy and girl Cabbage Patch wreath on the front door. I had a Cabbage Patch that I dearly loved as a child named Abbadrew so I thought it was a cute idea.



My lovely 5 year old assistant and I unwrapping gifts. She spent the night with us last night and it gave us a little glimpse into parenthood. The bed was crowded so hubby ended up on the couch. She woke me up this morning and told me her tummy hurt and then barfed all over my bed. Three times.



A silly shower guest.



I had to throw this in there. It was taken the night before the shower. My specialist said almost three weeks back that I have reached the stage where the belly will grow every day, almost noticeably. He was right! This is only two weeks after the previously posted maternity photos. Crazy!

So, we have all the baby stuff, now we just need the babies!

A Name and A Face

Today we had our 4D ultrasound for family to view! We get ultrasounds all the time, once a week now. But today was different. There was sappy music playing in the background and it was just for fun, to see what our babies actually look like instead of combing over their bodies to be sure everything is working. I cried the whole time. I have NEVER cried at an ultrasound before, but today was different.

Without further ado, here are the faces of our precious babies, with their names . . .

Meet Baby A!



His name will be Ocean.

Meet Baby B!



Her name will be Ever.

Today was a tear jerker, big time. I can't believe how cute they are and I just want to touch them and hold them so much more!!

Eternity

Last Tuesday was my first day of the third trimester. It is very exciting to be at this point, one I thought I might never see. We are in the home stretch and the babies will be here in a few months. I can't wait to hold them and see them. Even though I can feel them moving, I am growing larger (as are my stretch marks), and I see them at ultrasounds it still doesn't feel like I will actually have babies sometimes.

It has been going slow, but since Tuesday it feels like an eternity!! When I think back to the first trimester and just wanting to make it through and keep the dream alive, it seems like decades ago. The seconds are crawling. I just need to have them out safely and know that they are healthy but I have to wait.

I have NEVER been patient. Nine months is awhile for a nonpatient person, but nine months tacked onto 2 and a half years gets a touch ridiculous. I don't want the babies to come out now, that would be awful, but I wish I could just fall asleep and wake up in 7.5 weeks when I want them to be born. That would be awesome.

On Friday I worked in a preschool class for three hours. It was brutal. We then went to a furniture store to purchase a bed for the guest room, a tv, and a changing table. I was in so much pain I did not sleep much Friday night. Yesterday I had a bunch of stuff I wanted to do and again I was in pain thanks to the pubic bone of death. Today I stayed in bed all day. I think I would take the physical pain above just sitting here thinking all day, but the babies have been active so I know it's good for them and they need me to rest.

Twenty-eight weeks and four days down, seven weeks and three days to go. That seems better when I write it out like that. I know it will all be worth it, but today has taught me that bedrest would be a VERY bad thing for my crazy mind.

7 Month Stats

TTC: 2.5 years, got knocked up the 30th cycle

What: Twins, a boy and a girl

How I am feeling: Sleepy. I found out that I am anemic and started taking iron so I hope that helps. I also need to eat healthier. I'm having lots of Braxton Hicks contractions!

Weight gain: 25 pounds

Milestones: The babies have passed two pounds and today at my first BPP (biophysical profile) we saw that they are practicing their breathing. She switched over to 3D once and it looks like they are going to be cute. I had a small freak out when they were putting loud noises on the belly to wake up the babies and A flinched but B wasn't even fazed. I was so scared she was deaf!! But really she was just tired. Whew! And the BIGGEST news, they are named!! Although I will say most people don't like their names, so we will save that for another day.

Cravings: Ice cream, but still mostly aversions to food.

Signs of labor: None yet, but I have weekly BPP's and biweekly OB visits, so hopefully there will be no surprises!

I'm not going to post a belly pic because there are some below. Every week that passes is a small relief because they are still in there and growing, and also a small panic because they are getting closer to being here! Only 3 or 4 more weeks until maternity leave (hopefully). I'm ready for that!

Maternity photos!

Yesterday we went for our maternity photo session. Being a Grade A space case, I realized my baby shower is only a few weeks away last week and I wanted to get photos done before that. From previous posts, you will know that it has kind of been a disaster. So . . . I went to Target thinking we would at least get something to remember this long awaited event by and it wouldn't cost me an arm and a leg.

Besides ultrasounds, it was the most fun thing we have done pregnancy related. We really enjoyed it and Target actually did a really great job and we got the mother load of photos for not very much.









I am so glad we ended up getting photos for this, since it is highly unlikely that we will ever be doing this again. They are even planning on using one in their lobby.

I have taken two nights of iron to help with my recently discovered anemia and was feeling pretty lively for the first time in weeks. This was probably also due to the fact that I had so much fun celebrating our pregnancy. My grandma was going to the mall so I went with her, hoping to find some stuff for the house and something to wear at the baby shower. In only 20 minutes of walking there I had intense back pain and cramping. About 15 minutes after that, I started having multiple Braxton Hick contractions with pain. My doctor advised me to go to Labor and Delivery if I have 4 or more in an hour. I had 6 in 45 minutes. We went home and hubby made me lay down on my left side and chug water. Within an hour, the braxton hicks diminished and the pain went away. I know I am supposed to visit the doctor, but wanted to give my body a chance to help itself before I spent the evening in the hospital. Everytime I get up I get another contraction. I am so paranoid now about labor it is unbelievable. I am just going to stay laying around all day today.

Today is a very special day! I am the big 2-6! Being infertile has made holidays hard, especially birthdays. For three birthdays I wished on my candles (nerdy, I know) for a baby. The first was hopeful. The second was okay. And my last birthday was so sad and my wishing was with complete desperation. Just one baby, that's all I ask, I will never want anything again (except for the baby to be healthy of course). But this birthday all I have to wish for is my TWO babies to be healthy in just a matter of weeks. Being paranoid and bedridden does not take a single thing away from how special and amazing that is to me!

Happy Valentine's Day!

Celine Dion

I just read the article about Celine Dion which is on the cover of people this week. I saw her on Oprah last week and thought she had the best attitude ever about it. I also thought it was awesome that she was even talking about it.

She is on her fifth IVF cycle, which is something I truly cannot imagine. It's odd to read the comments in the comment section. Some people are really nasty about it and how she waited too long. As a previous foster mom of five children, all who came from mothers who started reproducing in their teens, I'm not sure I am seeing the problem of a 41 year old getting pregnant. I think this should be exactly the type of person that we would want to have children in our society. She is mature, successful, in a healthy and long term commited relationship, and a loving mommy to her other son. This sounds like a dream to me because I know the child will be loved and after FIVE IVF cycles, which I can't imagine the emotional pain of that many failures from IVF, the child is obviously wanted more than anything. I also know I won't be footing the bill for her kids running wild in the street because she got pregnant easily at 19 with no plans to be able to care for her kid (I know this isn't always the case and there are many awesome young moms, but stats aren't exactly stellar for those situations).

When people hear that I am pregnant after several years of infertility and I am only 25, people think of that as a true medical issue. Even my OB nurse said "wow, only 25? There must be something really wrong with you!" When people see 40 year olds trying to have babies, they don't have the same sympathy. I truly do understand their point, but of all issues in society is this really one of them? Mature, responsible adults having children? That's a bad thing? It's selfish to wait until you are ready to procreate while others just get knocked up whenever without means emotionally, financially or both to care for the children? I'm confused.

I also find this situation completely sexist. Her husband is 68. I'm sorry, but that's older than my dad and pretty close to my grandpa. I am going to admit that I find someone who is almost 70 having a baby bizarre, because really you don't live forever. Rod Stewart is old and he has babies. Larry King is way old and he has toddlers. Where is the outrage for that??? Is it okay because they made babies with 20 to 30 year olds? Again, I'm confused.

I hope the fifth try is a charm for her! I also hope people can gain some sense, but I know the fifth try of IVF for a 41 and 68 year old is a lot more likely.

Justification

Okay, I figured everything out regarding this weight business.

1. I gained 10 pounds during IVF so I will just go ahead and add that to my pregnancy weight. I won't need to gain as much because I got a head start.

2. I used to have muscle from working out. I haven't worked out in almost 8 months. Muscle weighs more than fat and since I am slipping into flabby land quickly I probably am gaining cushion and losing muscle.

3. I drink TONS of water. Drinking water burns calories so I probably burn thousands of calories from the cold water.

4. Online I saw a healthy full term baby with all the parts (sac, placenta, etc) weighs about 17 pounds. So for two I really only need to gain 34 pounds.

I have no idea how to explain why my belly isn't measuring big. But I'm not a doctor. :)As was mentioned before, the babies weigh perfectly so who cares.

I failed the one hour glucose test and have to do the three hour. I also have iron definciency. If I go on a no carb or sugar diet how the french toast am I supposed to gain weight? This is just getting silly . . .

Only two weeks until the 4-D ultrasound!!! I am SO excited for that! I want to see what the babies look like so bad. We're taking a crowd with us too, my mother in law, my mom, my grandma, my great grandma and my aunt. We'll have to see if this is the first ultrasound that I cry for! I know our monkey boy looks like hubby so it is up to our little lady to carry some of my features.

They Were Right!

All those annoying people who say "you're so small, are you okay?" were not as far off the mark as I thought. Today at my OB appointment she did say that I am small and that due to my small size she doubts I would make it to 38 weeks. I thought for sure I would in the beginning, but now I am just really hoping for 36 weeks. She said 34 weeks would be fine and they wouldn't need steroids before birth at that point. I gained two pounds in the last month, which is less than half the recommended amount. But the babies size is just perfect so I figure that is the most important thing! I've never been told to eat more or gain more weight in my life. Weird!

Now I will be going to get an ultrasound to check on the babies every week starting next week. They get scored every time and if they pass then we are good for another week. I got in a little trouble for having contractions and not calling, but I don't want to spend every other evening in L&D. I will start being more careful now. I am also to stay in bed for two days to see if this yucky virus/infection/bronchitis will go away without another dose of antibiotics.

Still trying to work out a photography session that will yield photos before my baby shower in two weeks and allow me to show off the watermelon . . . . . It's kind of hard to do when your brain is clogged with snot and the already short attention span has become much shorter!

Something odd happened last night. I watched the Duggar's. And . . . . it wasn't that bad! Hubby still thinks that they need to be locked up for insanity and that something is surely wrong with them, but the kids were a lot more normal than I thought they would be considering the circumstances. I doubt I'll be watching another episode anytime soon, but it was more interesting than I thought. I know it's evil, but I will still be anxiously awaiting the Duggar that makes the cover of People pulling a Britney Spears and going nuts.

Ha ha ha ha!!

I just received an email from Baby Zone about "how to stay sexy while pregnant!"

I don't know why I found this hilarious, but it really cracked me up. If you are some weirdo who finds zoo animals sexy, pregnancy is super sexy. If you like orangutangs (spelling?), pregnancy is way hot. You are hairy, boobs floppy and big round gut with legs spread apart from pubic bone issues.

Once my bronchitis is gone, I will show pictures of all these things. I know it's gross, but I have no shame. Although I obviously don't find pregnancy too sexy, I do sit around with the belly hanging out so I guess I don't find it that bad.

Speaking of photos, I booked our maternity session for last weekend then in the confirmation they said that they don't do nudity. I wasn't planning on taking any Playboy photos, but they include belly pictures in nudity!! What? I don't consider a belly nudity. So I had to cancel. We're racing against the clock and my cheap ass can't find another place . . . .

Sicko

After a trip to urgent care this morning, I now have bronchitis! I have never got this sick so fast before, but the doctor said that when you're pregnant viruses move more quickly through your body. I can't even remember the last time I have felt this sick.

My little monkeys have been moving constantly. Although I love it, I know it's because they are agitated by the extreme coughing and it is giving me cramps. Poor babies! Luckily I go to the OB this week and normally the appointments are short and sweet but I am going to make her look them over really well to make sure they are okay after this and their first round of antibiotics! The doctor said that this is safe for them, but I am still a little nervous. I just hope I feel better by next week. I also lost 4 pounds since my doctor's appointment on Thursday afternoon, so I am trying to eat.

Last night hubby was laying on the couch with me. I think the babies gravitate towards heat or something because when the dog laid in my lap they kicked him until he wouldn't sit there anymore. Last night hubby's head was right over Baby A and so Baby A proceeded to kick him right in the noggin! The funny thing is hubby could actually feel it! I have a feeling my house might get pretty rowdy here in a couple of years . . .

The nurse who took me back to the doctor's office has 12 year old boy/girl twins. She said she had a feeling there was more than one in there when she saw me! I was so happy to hear that.

I was super excited for a wedding tonight so hubby and I could get dressed up and take some cute photos together while I'm preggo. But now I will be sitting at home, watching more crappy tv and hacking up my lungs. No one wants a person hacking up yellow snot while they are trying to get married!!

Healthy Monkeys

Although I was hoping for a couple of fatties at 2 pounds this morning, they didn't quite make it. They are both weighing in at 1 pound 12 ounces. We held hands as the doctor (it was the man doctor, who is way more awesome than the woman doctor) analyzed all the details of their anatomy. Baby A took a pee pee while we were watching and Baby B was playing with her foot (she is quite flexible). We weren't able to get any good pictures, which was a bummer, but tomorrow I am going to schedule our 4D ultrasound for the end of the month.

Hubby gets mad at me when I poke the babies. I just really like to feel them move so if they have been lazy for awhile I poke them. Hubby thinks this is mean. But the specialist straight up rocked their world trying to get them to move!! I'm glad hubby knows that a little poke here and there won't hurt them. They didn't move. They must be stubborn. I'm sure you might be able to guess where they picked that up.

The monkeys do not have a healthy mama right now. It turns out I am suffering from a viral infection. That hit by a truck feeling was surprisingly not from pregnancy, but from being sick. I know it's flat out selfish of me to go to my specialist appointment sick, but I really didn't want to have to wait until next week to check out the babies. My whole life runs in the time of when the next monkey sighting happens. Plus I spend way too much time on the internet and everytime I think I'm safe I will see something like "parent found kidneys failing at 22 week appointment" and then I'm like shit!! I thought I was in the clear! Anyway, at this pace, there will be nothing left of sick leave by the time maternity leave rolls around, but oh well. The sign on the door of the specialist office says if you have a fever or flu like symptoms to not come in, and I didn't have a fever and I wasn't hurling everywhere or anything. I also didn't wipe my boogers on the chairs or lick anyone so hopefully no one else in the office will acquire my illness.

I can't believe how big they are getting! The doc said right now is the time that the belly will take off and grow like crazy. Hubby has a huge peeve of cankles so he is way more worried about that than the belly. As I was laying on the table he said "you are really getting huge. I noticed that the other day." I told him that my belly is huge, not me!! He said yes, I'm not swollen or anything and I don't have cankles. He seriously can't deal with cankles. He lovingly told me that he is going to sleep on the couch if I get them.

Maybe next post I will show you photos of my stretch marks and my "linea negra." I thought these things would freak me out, but they don't. I just can't believe the stretch marks!! I'm not even huge yet! It will look like a tiger attacked my ass in a few months!

People and their Comments

As you may have noticed from my last post, although I am having twins, I am the same size as most women who are having singletons. I don't know what to compare it to, but most people assume that people having twins are huge. People in my twin birth class are huge, so apparently there is something wrong with me. My babies are in a t-shape, which is the least common way twins hang out in the womb, so I'm sure that makes a difference as opposed to my babies being right next to each other.

I always thought that when fertile people whined to me about all the unsolicited advice they get while pregnant that they should shut their trap and get over it because the unsolicited advice of people who are successful getting pregnant while you are trying to conceive is much worse.

That is still true. I only have one peeve because most pregnancy advice is far less annoying than the "have you tried hanging upside down from your ceiling fan" advice.

The peeve: "Are they healthy?"

I don't look like I'm having twins I guess. I feel like I'm having twins, but to most people I apparently don't look it. This comment really gets me and why that is has evolved. At first, it made me very paranoid. Even though I should no better than to care about the advice of a complete stranger, it planted that little seed that there might be something wrong with my babies. Are they small for their age? Do they have a disease? Have they just stopped growing? At my first u/s Baby B was behind. She slowly crept up and they are measuring both the same. Specialist appointment after specialist appointment have confirmed that the babies are "amazing" (I put that in quotes because that is actually what the specialist said). So I mostly try to take the "you're so small" as a compliment.

Now it irritates me because what if they weren't healhty? I know they are so it doesn't bother me personally, but then I think of someone else whose babies may not be healthy. Is it really appropriate to bring that up? I would never look at someone with a bald head and just ask if they have cancer. Never. If something were wrong with my babies, do you really need to know? Or would you assume that I would want to talk about it? It pisses me off.

It happens all the time, but here is the most special conversation I had while being checked out by a super friendly Target cashier:

Genius: It looks like you're going to make a birthday cake tonight.

Me: Nope. I'm pregnant and am hungry for a cake so I'm making one for myself.

Genius (now frowning): Really? You look awfully young!

Me: Yep, I'm 25. I'm married so no worries (I live in the midwest and it is full of "values" for which you can be judged by everyone).

Genius: Oh. When is the baby coming?

Me: I'm having twins and they are due in May.

Genius (pure shock): Twins? Really? In May?

Me: They will most likely come in April as twins usually always come early.

Genius: Are they healthy? Did the doctor say if they are growing okay?

Me: Yes, they are perfectly healthy (people in line are now staring). Doing great and we are very excited.

Genius (printing out my receipt): Well, I hope everything turns out okay and that you get to live the life you want to.

WHAT????? Really? I just smiled and took my cake mix, toothbrush, and bronzer. First, why do people ask that? Second, what the hell is the "getting to live the life you want" comment about? Some people . . . . .

In other news, for the last two days I have been feeling like I've been hit by a truck. My blood pressure is just a touch high, I have a serious headache, and the pubic bone of death is acting up. Pregnancy time is starting to slow down a lot. I do have a specialist appointment on Thursday though and I am so excited. It's the monthly anatomy check which are my faves. They measure the babies and check up on all their little organs to make sure they are functioning correctly. It takes longer than the quickies that accompany my cervical violations, so we usually see something cute or interesting happen. I hope we get some good pictures of my monkeys. I also hope they are over 2 pounds now. My sweet monkeys.

My tiny, sickly, failing monkeys for which random strangers without PHD's can diagnose just by looking at my gut. Please bitches, my babies survived 5 days in a petri dish (and a few hours in jail), which in my mind, makes them much cooler than average sex babies. :)